Friend Picks Very Expensive Restaurant for Birthday Dinner.

[Anonymous]

I had this happen last year, and I thought it was rude and insensitive to pick such an extravagant place, especially given that most of the people invited were in grad school or high prestige/low pay jobs. In addition, we all chipped in to pay for her dinner, and nobody got a thank you note afterwards. Very trashy behavior from someone who went to a fancy prep school.

[Anonymous]

Some people are just clueless. If you care about her, help her understand that she's not being thoughtful (without saying as much) The suggestion to mention a place you like that is in a certain price range is a good start. Some people cannot be rehabilitated, but if she's your friend, its worth at least this one try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? If she knows and acknowledges it's that expensive, why would she want you to take her AND her boyfriend there?

Your friend is nuts. I'd say, "oy, it's a little out of our budget too, but I've read great things about <less expensive restaurant>. How about something like that?"

That way, even if she doesn't choose the restaurant you've suggested, she has a cue for how much you're willing to spend.

Yes! Wow she's not being thoughtful if she's choosing an expensive place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had this happen last year, and I thought it was rude and insensitive to pick such an extravagant place, especially given that most of the people invited were in grad school or high prestige/low pay jobs. In addition, we all chipped in to pay for her dinner, and nobody got a thank you note afterwards. Very trashy behavior from someone who went to a fancy prep school.

I agree that it's socially inept for someone to suggest that friends pay for a fancy evening out, but a thank you note? I would never expect a thank you note after taking a friend out for dinner.

[Anonymous]

I would respond "Girl, I know it. I'd love to go there too! Now pick a place that's less than $100 per person! Have you read anything good about Himitsu lately? I thought it looked like something you'd love."

The sooner you say something the better. Looks like a more natural reaction.

[Anonymous]

My friends are all just as blunt as I am. If one named something expensive that we couldn't or didn't want to pay for we would immediately shoot them down. We would also laugh at the mention of paying for the boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Who needs friends like this, seriously. I can't imagine a single person I'm friends with doing something like this. And if they did it would be a mistake they'd be MORTIFIED once they realized the cost.

[Anonymous]

Thats what you get for acting like you have a great job and are making all of the money. When you pretend you are doing way better than your friends, you deserve it when they call your bluff.

[Anonymous]

My friend did this and it was the last time we did a bday dinner invite.

[Anonymous]

Funny, I have a friend who celebrates her birthday by TREATING all of her friends to dinner at some fancy place she's always wanted to try. We argue about the bill, but the most she's ever let us do is pay the tip. And I think she still tipped on top of our contribution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thats what you get for acting like you have a great job and are making all of the money. When you pretend you are doing way better than your friends, you deserve it when they call your bluff.

It's taking advantage not calling a bluff! Get a clue.

[Anonymous]

How about Olive Garden?

[Anonymous]

Oh, sorry. That does sound like a wonderful birthday dinner, but it's a little out of our budget. We can afford about $X (200, 250, 300). We can pick a different restaurant or we can go there and contribute that amount of the final bill. Let us know whether you still want to go there or not and we'll make the reservation.

[Anonymous]

My MIL invites the entire family to celebrate BIL's birthday. She sends out the email invitations and picks the restaurant. But she never pays, not even the tip. First two times, DH offered to pay. After that, we knew better. Last time, the when the waiter brought the bill, we let it sit until she offered to split it with us. She is something...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thats what you get for acting like you have a great job and are making all of the money. When you pretend you are doing way better than your friends, you deserve it when they call your bluff.

This is nonsense.