Do You Consider this Harrassment?

Anonymous

In public, I would very clearly reference Harvey Weinstein and tell him other victims have made millions sueing for sexual harassment.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes


What do I do? I forgot he has offered massages, has said highly inappropriate things to me just not outright sexual.


Him: I would love to relax you with a massage.
You: Oh no! I wouldn't want you go to get a cramp or anything. Maybe you should sit down before you wear yourself out. Getting your heart rate up isn't very smart at your age.


Please tell us this isn't a serious suggestion
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes


What do I do? I forgot he has offered massages, has said highly inappropriate things to me just not outright sexual.


Him: I would love to relax you with a massage.
You: Oh no! I wouldn't want you go to get a cramp or anything. Maybe you should sit down before you wear yourself out. Getting your heart rate up isn't very smart at your age.


Please tell us this isn't a serious suggestion
\

It's tongue in cheek, but intended to say that if HR won't do anything, then fight fire with fire. If HR won't protect you, then make comments about his age being a turn-off.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
In public, I would very clearly reference Harvey Weinstein and tell him other victims have made millions sueing for sexual harassment.



I've actually said "go away harvey" to him a few times this week with a digested look on my face.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes


What do I do? I forgot he has offered massages, has said highly inappropriate things to me just not outright sexual.


Him: I would love to relax you with a massage.
You: Oh no! I wouldn't want you go to get a cramp or anything. Maybe you should sit down before you wear yourself out. Getting your heart rate up isn't very smart at your age.


Please tell us this isn't a serious suggestion



He would think I was encouraging him if I said this.
Anonymous
Do not counter his harassment with comments that reference characteristics of a protected class, in this case, his age. He would then have grounds to complain about you.

I can't believe your management knows about this and is doing nothing. Is he doing to this to others? Can you all band together and demand a meeting with management to dispassionately lay out the facts?
Anonymous
First, document. Keep a journal with objective, specific details about every inappropriate encounter -- sounds like you could put together a long list in about a week.

For each instance, include the date, time, location, who was present, what was said/done, and how you responded. I suggest that you only say one thing: "Please stop. You are making me uncomfortable." Nothing cute -- calling him "Harvey" sounds almost flirty. Say the same thing every time he acts inappropriately and he will start to get the idea.

Once you have a nice long list, write an email with the subject line: "Official complaint of sexual harassment." See this link for a template https://www.thebalance.com/how-to-formally-complain-about-harassment-at-work-1919091

Send the email to everyone you think needs to read it and copy yourself. If they don't respond to that, your next call should be to a lawyer.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Do not counter his harassment with comments that reference characteristics of a protected class, in this case, his age. He would then have grounds to complain about you.

I can't believe your management knows about this and is doing nothing. Is he doing to this to others? Can you all band together and demand a meeting with management to dispassionately lay out the facts?


You are naive if you can't believe her management knows and does nothing.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes


What do I do? I forgot he has offered massages, has said highly inappropriate things to me just not outright sexual.


Him: I would love to relax you with a massage.
You: Oh no! I wouldn't want you go to get a cramp or anything. Maybe you should sit down before you wear yourself out. Getting your heart rate up isn't very smart at your age.


Please tell us this isn't a serious suggestion



He would think I was encouraging him if I said this.


Bingo. PP, this kind of comment seems playful. If op wants to look him in the eye and say with all seriousness, "You are old and disgusting and you repulse me," go for it. But more importantly, Op should follow all the other advice to document and go to HR . Sue if necessary.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do not counter his harassment with comments that reference characteristics of a protected class, in this case, his age. He would then have grounds to complain about you.

I can't believe your management knows about this and is doing nothing. Is he doing to this to others? Can you all band together and demand a meeting with management to dispassionately lay out the facts?


You are naive if you can't believe her management knows and does nothing.


In government--there is no way management witnessing stuff like this wouldn't deal with it. Too much risk of an HR complaint that would negatively affect their career. YMMV.
Anonymous
Have you said directly to him, "joe, leave me alone. I have no interest in you and consider your remarks inappropriate, unprofessional, and harassing."

But really you need to talk to an employment lawyer. And look for a new job.
Anonymous
After telling him to stop, nave you thought about recording his behavior? Would be great documentation, in addition to what others are suggesting.

If it's such a lax and unprofessional work environment (boss laughing at this) can you tell the guy to go f**k himself, because obviously no one else is interested? Tell him you plan to retire on your future lawsuit winnings? Get a huge guy to come in the office and have a discussion with the man?

Start applying for other jobs asap.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote: He never says things to me regarding my looks but he says things that make me feel VERY uncomfortable....HR knows, other staff know, I have complained about him hovering around me and not leaving when I ask him to. No one seems to care. He continues this behavior and it is bothersome.


Millienial dude here, and this sounds like good ol' fashioned sexist harassment at work. I'm sorry for this, OP. You need to bring the thunder on this person and make a f'ing example out of him.
Anonymous
How is telling someone you'd like to seduce them NOT overtly sexual. WTF OP
Anonymous
You tell the person directly you consider it harassment don't do it again or I will report you.

If he does tell immediate boss and demand he formerly confronts him or you will go to HR

If he does it again go to HR

If it still happens dig in and sue, quit and sue, go on disability due to issue or just get new job and let it go.

Or agree to meet him for drinks and invite his wife and watch the show.
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