Spouse raised by single parent

[Anonymous]

Wow, who are all these crazy people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Barack Obama was raised by a single parent and has what appears to be a great marriage.

I was raised by two parents but am a mess in relationships.

No correlation as long as you have at least one loving, supportive parent.

Mrs. Obama has been extremely candid that it wasn't always roses and took a lot of work, especially early on when he was broke. Major respect to them for holding on until things improved.

Maybe because he had no parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My XH was raised with parents who are still married, but he didn't know how to be a husband.

My DH was raised by a divorced mom of 5 in rural poverty and he's awesome.

Motivation is huge. And there are so many self-help modalities for marriages. Plus, being a good husband to one's wife is very subjective. Even if my ex had done for me what his dad did for his mom (put her on a pedestal and gave her a weekly allowance of spending money),it wouldn't have been right for me.

People who were abused as kids can grow up to be excellent parents, too.

I totally agree. I grew up in a f*cked up, abusive, dysfunctional household. Yet, I'm a great spouse and excellent mother (if I say so myself!). I was highly motivated to be an even-keeled, supportive person. I had really shitty role models in my parents but those weren't my only models. Many of my friends had great parents, some married, some not. Even my teachers were great role models for positive, healthy relationships.

Besides - did you DH never watch the Cosby's or Brady Bunch?

[Anonymous]

OP, in what way do you think your DH doesn't know how to be a husband? It could be a personality issue rather than a result of not growing up with a dad.

[Anonymous]

If the women of DCUM are to be believed, I think the vast majority of people are raised by a single mom since DHs are ALL useless, disengaged, non-parents who keep their families in near poverty conditions because they only make 300k per year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the women of DCUM are to be believed, I think the vast majority of people are raised by a single mom since DHs are ALL useless, disengaged, non-parents who keep their families in near poverty conditions because they only make 300k per year.

for real.

I was raised by a single mother and I am/was a very good mother. All this bs the OP and others say about their husbands actually makes them look bad.

You chose poorly sistas. You should have watched the commercials and sitcoms more closely. They scream dumb shit husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex was raised by a single mom and I actually think it made him a better spouse. He was really into what women want and need. He was better at gifts than anyone I had ever met and he was sensitive. His mom had taught him what not to do.

He was messed up in so many ways by having a needy single mom, but he wasn't a bad husband because of it.

+1. Same for my DH. He was raised by a single mom and was the oldest of 4 kids. Since very young, he was the "man" of the house, the sounding board for his mom and the primary caretaker for his younger siblings. His sense of responsibility and obligation is off the charts. As a DH, I could not ask for anything more. The issue with him is because he was forced into this role early, he does not know how to let his hair or his guard down. He never had a chance to be a carefree kid. Thus, he has had to learn to that its ok to do something like delaying a household chore to play ball with our boys.

[Anonymous]

One of my good friends was raised by a single mother, and he is a great husband and father because he learned by example how NOT to behave. Just because someone was raised by a single parent does not mean that they will not be a good husband/parent. It depends on the person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Barack Obama was raised by a single parent and has what appears to be a great marriage.

I was raised by two parents but am a mess in relationships.

No correlation as long as you have at least one loving, supportive parent.

No he wasn't. He was raised by his grandparents and abandoned by his parents. Get it straight.

He was mostly raised by his stay-at-home grandfather. His grandmother worked and was a bank vice president which allowed Obama to go to the most expensive private school in Hawaii.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Barack Obama was raised by a single parent and has what appears to be a great marriage.

I was raised by two parents but am a mess in relationships.

No correlation as long as you have at least one loving, supportive parent.

Mrs. Obama has been extremely candid that it wasn't always roses and took a lot of work, especially early on when he was broke. Major respect to them for holding on until things improved.

obama was raised by his Hawaiian white grandparents, went to private K-12 there and scholarshipped right into Ugrad and Law School whilst doing community activism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Barack Obama was raised by a single parent and has what appears to be a great marriage.

I was raised by two parents but am a mess in relationships.

No correlation as long as you have at least one loving, supportive parent.

Mrs. Obama has been extremely candid that it wasn't always roses and took a lot of work, especially early on when he was broke. Major respect to them for holding on until things improved.

Maybe because he had no parents.

Having his MIL live in their house for decades probably helped as well. Obama could just work and do playtime if/when he happened to be home.

[Anonymous]

Actions speak louder than words. In my case, my marriage as blessed as it is, has ups and downs too. But, whenever I’m in a funk, (don’t like to admit this) and take it out on my husband; he continues to do the things he does that shows how much he loves me. Our marriage becomes stronger every time. I’ll say a prayer.

[mmmb]

Only because I’ve had another chance at life, to me, there is only one book to suggest and it’s, The Bible. I had tried numerous times reading it, but it wasn’t until a friend of mine suggested a certain passage that it became more relevant to my circumstances. After a while, I began to apply its truths and I can now say it is the only reason I’m here writing to you today. I realize your circumstance deals with marriage, but it also applies. If we go into the Bible leaving out all the negative comments we hear about it, including its antiquation, to start with an open mind, we will never regret our decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my good friends was raised by a single mother, and he is a great husband and father because he learned by example how NOT to behave. Just because someone was raised by a single parent does not mean that they will not be a good husband/parent. It depends on the person.

You're not married to him and he is not father to your children, so stop talking out of turn. You have no idea.

[Anonymous]

There is no default rule you can follow that will let you end up with a good husband. You have to keep your eyes open and ask questions about the particular man.

Technically, my brother was raised in a two parent home. Our parents were married for almost 30 years and are both successful white collar professionals. My brother is going to make an absolutely terrible husband, however, and is an atrocious boyfriend. Why? Well, the fact that both of my parents have serious mental illnesses and were in a mutually physically, emotionally, and financially abusive marriage might have to with it. My brother learned how to be an aggressive, unfaithful asshole from my father. He learned how to be suspicious and resentful of women from my mother, who is bitter towards any woman who has anything good that she wants.

I have seen many of his girlfriends latch onto him because they see a rich family with parents who appear to be classy and educated, and they think that my brother must be a real catch. In reality, if they keep their eyes open, there are many warning signs that this is not the family to marry into and that my brother is extremely emotionally disturbed.

Women need to pay attention.