Dating and intimacy? How long to wait?

[Anonymous]

First date if its a hot guy that you don't think is a real prospect for an LTR.

4-6 weeks if hes a good guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I typically date someone for several months and wait until the guy suggests making it exclusive. I also ask him to get std testing first. People on this forum will say no guy will put up with that and will bolt, but only once had I had a guy not be willing to wait.

Are you comfortable sleeping with someone who might be sleeping with or dating other people? I am not, so I wait. But if you are, go for it.

I'm assuming you're a woman. If you're a man, I recommend waiting till date five so raise sex. Kiss on the second date, hook up without sex on date three or four, but wait till the fifth or later to bring up sex.

Guy here and if there is no goodnight kiss on the first date, I'm going to assume a lack of interest and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When seriously dating, how long are people waiting to be intimate? Is this even a thing? Right away? Wait a few dates? First date? Weeks?

OP, the correct answer is any of those. It's what you personally are comfortable with. Only you know what's right for you.

I do not enjoy sex without a strong emotional attachment so there is no first few dates sex for me, but I have plenty of friends who have sex on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd date.

You do what you are comfortable with and that can change.



Whatever you choose make sure you are on top of STDs/STIs and birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First date if its a hot guy that you don't think is a real prospect for an LTR.

4-6 weeks if hes a good guy.

Oh, and if you meet both at the same time and the first guy is really good in bed make the second guy wait longer until you're done with the hot guy. Being sexually active with two guys at once is a little questionable, morally speaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with 13:02 ... I don't wait very long now that I am older. I know what I want and I want to know if the sexual chemistry is good before I invest a lot of time. I also want a good, kind, decent person but I am pretty good at figuring that out. No need for some long courtship ritual. We either hit it off fairly quickly or we don't. We are no longer middle schoolers.

How many middle schoolers do you know who are having sex?

You'd be surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I typically date someone for several months and wait until the guy suggests making it exclusive. I also ask him to get std testing first. People on this forum will say no guy will put up with that and will bolt, but only once had I had a guy not be willing to wait.

Are you comfortable sleeping with someone who might be sleeping with or dating other people? I am not, so I wait. But if you are, go for it.

I'm assuming you're a woman. If you're a man, I recommend waiting till date five so raise sex. Kiss on the second date, hook up without sex on date three or four, but wait till the fifth or later to bring up sex.

Guy here and if there is no goodnight kiss on the first date, I'm going to assume a lack of interest and move on.

I'm the original poster here. My advice given about waiting till the second date to kiss is if the op is a man is the safe route and based on online dating. If you're on a first date with a woman you already met and know otherwise, that's fine to go for a kiss on a first date

And I am not opposed to kissing on a first online date myself. But the woman agreed to go on that date without meeting you, so it's just safer in terms of making her feel safe and respected to wait till the second, when she's already met you and agreed to see you again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I typically date someone for several months and wait until the guy suggests making it exclusive. I also ask him to get std testing first. People on this forum will say no guy will put up with that and will bolt, but only once had I had a guy not be willing to wait.

Are you comfortable sleeping with someone who might be sleeping with or dating other people? I am not, so I wait. But if you are, go for it.

I'm assuming you're a woman. If you're a man, I recommend waiting till date five so raise sex. Kiss on the second date, hook up without sex on date three or four, but wait till the fifth or later to bring up sex.

I wouldn't put up with that. Plenty of women are willing to have sex on the third date, or for that matter, the first. "Several months"? Forget it. She'll be here on DCUM wondering why you don't want sex and all the other women will tell her to dump you.

My husband would not have put up with that either. We did get STD testing first. Here is the thing: men have different rules, as so I found out. I once was with a man for two years and he told me I was easy because I had sex with him after six months! (Admittedly, we had not discussed exclusivity, but I assumed we were exclusive). I met my husband soon after that ended. He recently told me he thought I had sexual hangups because I wasn't fast enough! And I had sex with him the fastest out of anyone (six weeks of knowing him) only because I was thinking, I am not wasting my time anymore. I am just getting to it, and if it doesn't work out, I am moving on. I was not wasting any time on "waiting" anymore only to have it backfire in my face like it did earlier.

I think you should have sex when you feel comfortable...then it will lead to a more natural match. Most men though now, aren't going to wait around forever if they are normal and don't have Madonna/whore complexes.

[Anonymous]

I typically prefer to wait a bit - like a month of steady dating, maybe longer - before I sleep with someone. Because you can always move forward later on, but once you've slept with someone you can't take it back. And we unfortunately still live in a slut-shaming society that doesn't like women to have 100 partners. (which can happen if you're single for awhile and you sleep with people right away.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I typically prefer to wait a bit - like a month of steady dating, maybe longer - before I sleep with someone. Because you can always move forward later on, but once you've slept with someone you can't take it back. And we unfortunately still live in a slut-shaming society that doesn't like women to have 100 partners. (which can happen if you're single for awhile and you sleep with people right away.)

Everyone needs to take off their velcro jackets. If it isn't yours don't let it stick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I typically date someone for several months and wait until the guy suggests making it exclusive. I also ask him to get std testing first. People on this forum will say no guy will put up with that and will bolt, but only once had I had a guy not be willing to wait.

Are you comfortable sleeping with someone who might be sleeping with or dating other people? I am not, so I wait. But if you are, go for it.

I'm assuming you're a woman. If you're a man, I recommend waiting till date five so raise sex. Kiss on the second date, hook up without sex on date three or four, but wait till the fifth or later to bring up sex.

Guy here and if there is no goodnight kiss on the first date, I'm going to assume a lack of interest and move on.

I'm the original poster here. My advice given about waiting till the second date to kiss is if the op is a man is the safe route and based on online dating. If you're on a first date with a woman you already met and know otherwise, that's fine to go for a kiss on a first date

And I am not opposed to kissing on a first online date myself. But the woman agreed to go on that date without meeting you, so it's just safer in terms of making her feel safe and respected to wait till the second, when she's already met you and agreed to see you again.

+1 I am a quality, fit and attractive woman- I don't consider sex something I just give away to anybody. if you feel that you can't wait until I know you well enough, you're obviously just a F***k Boy and not worth my time. Thirsty Boys are a dime a dozen. Goodbye-don't let the door hit you in the ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I typically date someone for several months and wait until the guy suggests making it exclusive. I also ask him to get std testing first. People on this forum will say no guy will put up with that and will bolt, but only once had I had a guy not be willing to wait.

Are you comfortable sleeping with someone who might be sleeping with or dating other people? I am not, so I wait. But if you are, go for it.

I'm assuming you're a woman. If you're a man, I recommend waiting till date five so raise sex. Kiss on the second date, hook up without sex on date three or four, but wait till the fifth or later to bring up sex.

Guy here and if there is no goodnight kiss on the first date, I'm going to assume a lack of interest and move on.

I'm the original poster here. My advice given about waiting till the second date to kiss is if the op is a man is the safe route and based on online dating. If you're on a first date with a woman you already met and know otherwise, that's fine to go for a kiss on a first date

And I am not opposed to kissing on a first online date myself. But the woman agreed to go on that date without meeting you, so it's just safer in terms of making her feel safe and respected to wait till the second, when she's already met you and agreed to see you again.

+1 I am a quality, fit and attractive woman- I don't consider sex something I just give away to anybody. if you feel that you can't wait until I know you well enough, you're obviously just a F***k Boy and not worth my time. Thirsty Boys are a dime a dozen. Goodbye-don't let the door hit you in the ass.

I guess I am more picky, when it comes to sex. I don't want to date for nothing. You either excite me and then we can figure out if we are a fit, or you don't. It would be such a disappointment to waste time dating just to find out that he is not the best sex you ever had. Would not be a first date, most likely, but has to be soon.

[Anonymous]

^^ need to add that kiss is often enough not to go on the second date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First date if its a hot guy that you don't think is a real prospect for an LTR.

4-6 weeks if hes a good guy.

Oh, and if you meet both at the same time and the first guy is really good in bed make the second guy wait longer until you're done with the hot guy. Being sexually active with two guys at once is a little questionable, morally speaking.

And if I'm the second guy and I find out or even suspect the first guy exists, I'm gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First date if its a hot guy that you don't think is a real prospect for an LTR.

4-6 weeks if hes a good guy.

Oh, and if you meet both at the same time and the first guy is really good in bed make the second guy wait longer until you're done with the hot guy. Being sexually active with two guys at once is a little questionable, morally speaking.

And if I'm the second guy and I find out or even suspect the first guy exists, I'm gone.

What if you had sex but did not express any desire to have an exclusive type relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Typically, third date. By then, you know if you're feeling it or not.

Three dates. Wear condom. Repeat.