Getting touched one too many times by a colleague
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Anonymous
| Similar thing happened to me, but I also had written proof of sexual harassment. I went to HR. Guess who Hr is trying to protect? It's not you. |
Anonymous
| What a scumbag, but I wouldn't go to the HR yet. He now has notice and you need to document everything from now on. If this happens again, you'll have more evidence rather than it being a he said she said. |
Anonymous
It's NOT harmless. It's inappropriate at work. Completely. Full Stop. Go to HR. Do not be embarrassed. Do not make excuses for the men and do not apologize. |
Anonymous
I can't. No cable channels at work. |
Anonymous
|
Is he gay? That's the only reason a man would want to know the brand of clothing you are wearing. If so, it's still wildly inappropriate.
Men don't care about this stuff and normal men would never do this to an employee, wife, friend, sister etc... |
Anonymous
No he's definitely not gay. I'm pretty sure he just uses it as an excuse to touch me. |
Anonymous
Of course he is. And he thinks he's clever, having invented an excuse to touch you. It's unacceptable behavior and he knows it. |
Anonymous
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Write a memo documenting the behavior. Include how long this has been going on, and the fact that you didn't say anything before because of his importance at the office. Include the fact that every time you pull away. Document exactly what you said, and what he said in return.
I'd go to HR, because it sounds like he was trying to intimidate you/threaten you by reminding you of his authority and connections. |
Anonymous
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HR. Paper trail and documentation. ASAP. I've been there OP. Not for sexual harrasment but for other whistleblowing issues that were wrong. My lesson is over-document now. He will try to retaliate against you.
In the mean time - look for a new job too |
Anonymous
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I think your immediate reply was perfect.
Don't go to HR yet. See if it escalates. Record the conversations when he enters your office. |
Anonymous
| Do you know if he's like this with other employees? You should all come forward together too if possible. Women sitting in silence is bull shit |
Anonymous
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From now on, when he asks you the brand, just make something up. "LL Bean" or "Talbots."
Is HR on-site or elsewhere? I'd write a memo to the file, email it to myself at a personal email address, and see how he behaves in the next week or so. Do NOT act scared or apologetic around him; try to act normal. If he tries to do it again, tell him to please stop and tell him directly that it makes you uncomfortable. And then go to HR. |
Anonymous
I think I'm the only one - unless he does it to guys too. But I'm the only woman in our office. |
Anonymous
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HR exists to protect the company, not the employee.
I agree with the PPS who say to document this, but don't go to HR yet. See if the issue goes away. If not, maybe you can file a complaint with HR and the Department of Labor for your area. That guy is a real CREEP and really needs his ass whooped. Maybe have hubby start coming to the office at lunch time to check on you and give that guy "the look." Men tend to prey on women they think have no protection. |
Anonymous
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Men are creeps.
There is nothing you can really do. We women just need to live in the hell men force on everybody around them, including themselves. |