Message Guy I Met on Dating Site?

[Anonymous]

There is nothing wrong with not being ready to kiss. But you did send mixed messages. Multiple dates and going to his house? Reasonable to think you'd be open to kissing.

I can't blame him for not responding. If I'd been on several dates with a guy and he told me that my wanting to kiss him didn't make him feel safe...I'd be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? if you are older than 20, then I'd say let it go. You went on several dates, liked him, but hadn't even kissed him? It is completely understandable for the guy to question you as kissing is an indicator whether someone likes you as a friend or boy/girlfriend. You were way to slow for him and too prudish. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but you just need to look for a guy that's equally prudish. He's not the one for you.

3 dates, and no kissing. Is that bad? I'm new to this.

Huh. On the 3rd date we did everything. Married after a year or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? if you are older than 20, then I'd say let it go. You went on several dates, liked him, but hadn't even kissed him? It is completely understandable for the guy to question you as kissing is an indicator whether someone likes you as a friend or boy/girlfriend. You were way to slow for him and too prudish. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but you just need to look for a guy that's equally prudish. He's not the one for you.

3 dates, and no kissing. Is that bad? I'm new to this.

Huh. On the 3rd date we did everything. Married after a year or so.

Full disclosure - date #1 was at a book store looking at books and lasted 45 minutes. date #2 was watching baseball at a bar during lunch. date 3 we literally just met for a 20 minute glass of wine. They werent long dates and they werent in appropriate places to start making out.

And yes, the requests from him were borderline inappropriate.

If any of the above matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? if you are older than 20, then I'd say let it go. You went on several dates, liked him, but hadn't even kissed him? It is completely understandable for the guy to question you as kissing is an indicator whether someone likes you as a friend or boy/girlfriend. You were way to slow for him and too prudish. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but you just need to look for a guy that's equally prudish. He's not the one for you.

3 dates, and no kissing. Is that bad? I'm new to this.

Huh. On the 3rd date we did everything. Married after a year or so.

Full disclosure - date #1 was at a book store looking at books and lasted 45 minutes. date #2 was watching baseball at a bar during lunch. date 3 we literally just met for a 20 minute glass of wine. They werent long dates and they werent in appropriate places to start making out.

And yes, the requests from him were borderline inappropriate.

If any of the above matters.

I would not call 3 a date -- not for a third date...maybe for a first.

Here is the last two women I dated (second became my wife)

Not my wife:

First date: We went to a jazz concert...ended up making out in the car after the concert. (Thus)
Second Date: I cooked her dinner...We said we were not going to have sex...but somehow we ended up naked in the living room...There was strong chemistry. (sun)

In hind sight she was a lousy gf, but would have been a great FWB.


Now for my wife: We lived about 80 miles from each other...so
First Date: Dinner, and conversation. We closed down the restaurant...
Second date: walked around Annapolis, kissed goodnight
Third date: Nice dinner on the water, made out (2nd base)
4th date: spend the night

The key thing is a progression...it tells me that she is interested

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? if you are older than 20, then I'd say let it go. You went on several dates, liked him, but hadn't even kissed him? It is completely understandable for the guy to question you as kissing is an indicator whether someone likes you as a friend or boy/girlfriend. You were way to slow for him and too prudish. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but you just need to look for a guy that's equally prudish. He's not the one for you.

3 dates, and no kissing. Is that bad? I'm new to this.

Huh. On the 3rd date we did everything. Married after a year or so.

Full disclosure - date #1 was at a book store looking at books and lasted 45 minutes. date #2 was watching baseball at a bar during lunch. date 3 we literally just met for a 20 minute glass of wine. They werent long dates and they werent in appropriate places to start making out.

And yes, the requests from him were borderline inappropriate.

If any of the above matters.

I would not call 3 a date -- not for a third date...maybe for a first.

Here is the last two women I dated (second became my wife)

Not my wife:

First date: We went to a jazz concert...ended up making out in the car after the concert. (Thus)
Second Date: I cooked her dinner...We said we were not going to have sex...but somehow we ended up naked in the living room...There was strong chemistry. (sun)

In hind sight she was a lousy gf, but would have been a great FWB.


Now for my wife: We lived about 80 miles from each other...so
First Date: Dinner, and conversation. We closed down the restaurant...
Second date: walked around Annapolis, kissed goodnight
Third date: Nice dinner on the water, made out (2nd base)
4th date: spend the night

The key thing is a progression...it tells me that she is interested

So just move on or send a note?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like this guy has no game at all if he's gone 3 dates without attempting to kiss you and then resorts to texting when he gets desperate.

[Anonymous]

You must have a bf. Why are the dates so short?

[Anonymous]

Just move on. You were not out of line to want to take it slow but saying knock it off seems a bit harsh and insensitive. I'm not sure there's a recovery from that at this early point in the dating game. The other thing is that if he were truly being unnecessarily aggressive, why would you want to continue seeing him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? if you are older than 20, then I'd say let it go. You went on several dates, liked him, but hadn't even kissed him? It is completely understandable for the guy to question you as kissing is an indicator whether someone likes you as a friend or boy/girlfriend. You were way to slow for him and too prudish. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but you just need to look for a guy that's equally prudish. He's not the one for you.

3 dates, and no kissing. Is that bad? I'm new to this.

Huh. On the 3rd date we did everything. Married after a year or so.

Full disclosure - date #1 was at a book store looking at books and lasted 45 minutes. date #2 was watching baseball at a bar during lunch. date 3 we literally just met for a 20 minute glass of wine. They werent long dates and they werent in appropriate places to start making out.

And yes, the requests from him were borderline inappropriate.

If any of the above matters.

I would not call 3 a date -- not for a third date...maybe for a first.

Here is the last two women I dated (second became my wife)

Not my wife:

First date: We went to a jazz concert...ended up making out in the car after the concert. (Thus)
Second Date: I cooked her dinner...We said we were not going to have sex...but somehow we ended up naked in the living room...There was strong chemistry. (sun)

In hind sight she was a lousy gf, but would have been a great FWB.


Now for my wife: We lived about 80 miles from each other...so
First Date: Dinner, and conversation. We closed down the restaurant...
Second date: walked around Annapolis, kissed goodnight
Third date: Nice dinner on the water, made out (2nd base)
4th date: spend the night

The key thing is a progression...it tells me that she is interested

So just move on or send a note?

PP here. Upon thinking about it more, I never talked about how we would kiss or anything else. It is just supposed to happen (with only discussions to ensure consent.).

[Anonymous]

Ya gotta kiss a lot of frogs. I'm new to dating as well after ending a long marriage but if I'm feelin' someone, I always kiss on the first date. Put out on the 3rd. I don't understand all this talk about kissing. Sounds like grade school. Good luck, it's rough out there!

[Anonymous]

I've never had a discussion about "kissing" with any guy I ever dated. If it happened it happened. It's pretty easy for a woman to send a "message" that she is open to be kissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never had a discussion about "kissing" with any guy I ever dated. If it happened it happened. It's pretty easy for a woman to send a "message" that she is open to be kissed.

It's kind of weird, but I think it's a guy atttemptig to gauge a woman's openness to it. Guys aren't that great at reading signals.

Regardless, OP should just move on.

[Anonymous]

The guy's weird. You don't talk about kissing. A guy tries, the woman accepts or deflects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ya gotta kiss a lot of frogs. I'm new to dating as well after ending a long marriage but if I'm feelin' someone, I always kiss on the first date. Put out on the 3rd. I don't understand all this talk about kissing. Sounds like grade school. Good luck, it's rough out there!

I know what you mean but I never kiss on the first date unless I'd really like a second date and even then the kissing is only brief. When sex happens is really dependent on the situation but rarely before the third or fourth date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ya gotta kiss a lot of frogs. I'm new to dating as well after ending a long marriage but if I'm feelin' someone, I always kiss on the first date. Put out on the 3rd. I don't understand all this talk about kissing. Sounds like grade school. Good luck, it's rough out there!

I know what you mean but I never kiss on the first date unless I'd really like a second date and even then the kissing is only brief. When sex happens is really dependent on the situation but rarely before the third or fourth date.

You sound so like me when I was younger but I did make an exception in one case - with my DH. We had been good friends for a few years, we worked for the same company, so I knew him really well when we decided to go on a date. It wasn't really a "date" but we were both interested in cooking so we decided to cook together at his place. I did have a secret crush on the guy so I packed a small overnight bag which I left in my car. After dinner we started some serious kissing on the couch and at one point I said that I needed to get something out of my car. When I told him what it was he said "I guess you really like my cooking." We've been together ever since and never really "dated".