Indian ladies I need your help please

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know any American Indian men who play cricket. So, no, it's not "typical." Is it every week?? That would bother most women.... I would ask him not too.

+1 This sounds like a troll post.

I don't think it's a troll. We're Indian but not very Indian from a cultural perspective (eat meat, don't pray or do anything "Indian"). But my younger cousin (who was born in the us btw) played in a cricket league in NC.

[Anonymous]

American Indian does not equal Indian American. Columbus' folly trickles down to DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter. If it's not working for your family then you need to revisit the commitment no matter what is normal.

+1. Indian-American here (married to non-Indian). Who cares what's typical? It doesn't work for you. He sounds like a jerk, BTW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an Indian man, I think your DH is just inconsiderate and that is nothing to do with either being Indian or the sport of cricket. There are of course many Indian males with feudal upbringing that will justify sexist, patronizing and inconsiderate behavior towards their spouse as being "typical". And in many cases that reflects the behavior of all the male role models that they have grown up around. But I speak of folks in small-town India with little exposure to the world. In the case of your DH who lives in the US of A, this is no excuse. It is just poor and insensitive behavior and you should call him out for that. Good luck!

You couldn't be more wrong on "small town" vs " city bred" Indians. My dh is a small town guy with zero role models ( pretty much raised himself) and is more well rounded and compassionate than those who grew up in cities, with a "well rounded" upbringing.
Irrespective of how you grew up or who your role models were growing up or now, YOU decide and design your life, including temperament, priorities, values etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know any American Indian men who play cricket. So, no, it's not "typical." Is it every week?? That would bother most women.... I would ask him not too.

OP here: My husband is not American Indian. I'm not sure where you got this idea from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an Indian man, I think your DH is just inconsiderate and that is nothing to do with either being Indian or the sport of cricket. There are of course many Indian males with feudal upbringing that will justify sexist, patronizing and inconsiderate behavior towards their spouse as being "typical". And in many cases that reflects the behavior of all the male role models that they have grown up around. But I speak of folks in small-town India with little exposure to the world. In the case of your DH who lives in the US of A, this is no excuse. It is just poor and insensitive behavior and you should call him out for that. Good luck!

You couldn't be more wrong on "small town" vs " city bred" Indians. My dh is a small town guy with zero role models ( pretty much raised himself) and is more well rounded and compassionate than those who grew up in cities, with a "well rounded" upbringing.
Irrespective of how you grew up or who your role models were growing up or now, YOU decide and design your life, including temperament, priorities, values etc.

That is great for you and your DH. I wasn't generalizing - there isn't a stereotypical "small town" Indian. Please note the "in many cases" caveat to my comment - if there is a justification to be offered for insensitive behavior, it could come from the small town guy who does not know any better. To suggest that my comment is painting all Indians with small town antecedents in one color is a reach on your part. Having said that - I don't agree with you on how much attitude and values you can change over one generation. That is why imperative to educate the mothers so that they bring up their sons to be more respectful of women. In a feudal set up, that is incredibly difficult. But we digress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know any American Indian men who play cricket. So, no, it's not "typical." Is it every week?? That would bother most women.... I would ask him not too.

OP here: My husband is not American Indian. I'm not sure where you got this idea from.

I guess I meant Indian men who live in America, rather than England or India. I know there are Indian men in America who play cricket, but you asked if it was the norm so I'm just responding that it's not

[Anonymous]

Doesn't matter if we're talking about Indian American, American Indian, Jamaican, African, cricket, soccer, or football.

Your DH is being an ass. Grow a spine and stand up for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't matter if we're talking about Indian American, American Indian, Jamaican, African, cricket, soccer, or football.

Your DH is being an ass. Grow a spine and stand up for yourself.

I have but I can't force him to stay home. We get into arguments about it all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't matter if we're talking about Indian American, American Indian, Jamaican, African, cricket, soccer, or football.

Your DH is being an ass. Grow a spine and stand up for yourself.

I have but I can't force him to stay home. We get into arguments about it all the time.

Insist on therapy. It's harder because you're SAH, but he's still responsible for some weekend care taking.

Does he help during the week?

And is this a league or just a casual game with friends every weekend?

[Anonymous]

This is considered perfectly normal among several young Indian men of my acquaintance, both FOBs and first-generation where they maintain strong ties to the home country. None of the wives are happy but nothing's going to change so some of them have started showing up to games and socializing while the men play.
He's not going to change unless he wants to.

[Anonymous]

Ask him if this shot will get anyone into TJ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is considered perfectly normal among several young Indian men of my acquaintance, both FOBs and first-generation where they maintain strong ties to the home country. None of the wives are happy but nothing's going to change so some of them have started showing up to games and socializing while the men play.
He's not going to change unless he wants to.

Yes. Head out to the game and have a picnic. or hire a babysitter and leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask him if this shot will get anyone into TJ.

? I think she should consider holding off on BJ; that is how many American women keep their men in line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask him if this shot will get anyone into TJ.

? I think she should consider holding off on BJ; that is how many American women keep their men in line.

or say she will stop taking kids to Odyssey of the Mind, then no TJ