SATC: what is it that Big found hard to handle about Carrie?

[Anonymous]

Carrie wanted a man who "got" her- but that's what friends are for. She was an immature person who wanted to find everything she needed in one man. That man does not exist.

[Anonymous]

He was immature and just wanted a quiet peice of arm candy. Carrie was unique, independent, smart and witty. Characteristics that only a strong and secure man can handle. I never got the crazy vibe and hate when people call women crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was too complicated for him. He married Natasha because he wanted simple, uncomplicated arm candy. See the last episode of season 2.

I used to think that when I was in my 20s and idolized the show. But no, this was just Carrie's rationalization for Big not wanting a high maintenance drama queen.

It's also something only a woman or gay man would think. Men don't even consider whether a woman is "complicated."

That's what the writers wanted you to think though. Remember when Carrie finds out that he's marrying Natasha and she goes on a rampage to learn as much as she can about her? And she concludes that Natasha is the kind of simple WASPy girl he envisioned himself marrying. The writers explicitly make the comparison with the movie The Way You Were with Robert Redford and Barbara Streisand, which is about the same thing (opposites attracting and not being able to stay together). At the end, there's a scene where Carrie calls Big Hubbell and he's like "huh?" And she's like "yeah you never got it/me."

Is "complicated" a code word for "head case"? Then yeah I can see him not wanting to marry her. Men aren't hard to figure out, the vast majority just want a woman that's easy on the eyes and easy to get along with. We never saw much about Natasha's personal life because then Carrie would have had to admit her own issues. It's easier for her to assume Natasha is a simpleton Barbie doll and Big is shallow.

Well I think the writer does a better job of this in The Way You Were. Katie is Jewish, *very* serious and political; Hubbell is WASPy, rich, stylish, and laid back. More just looking for a good time. Always takes the easy way out of things. He can't live up to Katie's expectations of what he should be doing with his life and career and eventually gets tired of trying and cheats on her with a younger woman (leading to the comparison with Natasha in SATC). Eventually leaves Katie to raise their daughter alone.

I don't think Carrie is very much like Katie at all though I can see why they'd compare Mr. Big and Hubbell and Natasha and Carol Ann.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was immature and just wanted a quiet peice of arm candy. Carrie was unique, independent, smart and witty. Characteristics that only a strong and secure man can handle. I never got the crazy vibe and hate when people call women crazy.

But Carrie went through so many men during the show's duration and none of them were "strong and secure" enough to handle her. Like Aidan - he should have been strong and secure enough to accept her friendship with the man she cheated on him with?

If she were really looking for a stable relationship at some point it's time for some self reflection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was immature and just wanted a quiet peice of arm candy. Carrie was unique, independent, smart and witty. Characteristics that only a strong and secure man can handle. I never got the crazy vibe and hate when people call women crazy.

But Carrie went through so many men during the show's duration and none of them were "strong and secure" enough to handle her. Like Aidan - he should have been strong and secure enough to accept her friendship with the man she cheated on him with?

If she were really looking for a stable relationship at some point it's time for some self reflection.

They do address this in the show. Remember the episode with Jon Bon Jovi where she sees the therapist? "The common denominator of all these relationships... is you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was immature and just wanted a quiet peice of arm candy. Carrie was unique, independent, smart and witty. Characteristics that only a strong and secure man can handle. I never got the crazy vibe and hate when people call women crazy.

But Carrie went through so many men during the show's duration and none of them were "strong and secure" enough to handle her. Like Aidan - he should have been strong and secure enough to accept her friendship with the man she cheated on him with?

If she were really looking for a stable relationship at some point it's time for some self reflection.

Aiden was strong and secure. That was the point of the character. It didn't work out with them because Carrie was and always will be in love with Mr. Big. That's what the writers wanted to show with that relationship. Mr. Big is "the one" for her - the one who got away - and no other man, no matter how perfect, will measure up.

[Anonymous]

It always bothered me that the 4 women had minimal relationship with any family

Carrie, in particular, was a product of divorce which often impacts a woman's self esteem and perception of men. I thought she had a daddy issue and always wanted Big to rescue her and take care of her.

[Anonymous]

Carrie was a self-centered, navel-gazing, drama queen who demanded far too much from everyone. She was obviously very good in bed and fun arm candy for entertaining his clients, so he ultimately hit the bullet and settled down...most likely because he realized that his star was fading and it was time to lock in a decent wife to coordinate his medical appointments and caregiver schedules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Carrie was a self-centered, navel-gazing, drama queen who demanded far too much from everyone. She was obviously very good in bed and fun arm candy for entertaining his clients, so he ultimately hit the bullet and settled down...most likely because he realized that his star was fading and it was time to lock in a decent wife to coordinate his medical appointments and caregiver schedules.

Haha damn.

[Anonymous]

They do the same thing to Don Draper in mad men. When he marries Megan.

[Anonymous]

Apart from being a self absored drama queen with the intellectual capacity of a rubber tree plant, she was also not in Big's social class--and it showed. He didn't really want to marry "down", and that was Natasha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apart from being a self absored drama queen with the intellectual capacity of a rubber tree plant, she was also not in Big's social class--and it showed. He didn't really want to marry "down", and that was Natasha.

yes this also. she was not in his class and was desperate for his affection. only when he thought she will be unavailable forever was he willing to commit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Carrie was a self-centered, navel-gazing, drama queen who demanded far too much from everyone. She was obviously very good in bed and fun arm candy for entertaining his clients, so he ultimately hit the bullet and settled down...most likely because he realized that his star was fading and it was time to lock in a decent wife to coordinate his medical appointments and caregiver schedules.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apart from being a self absored drama queen with the intellectual capacity of a rubber tree plant, she was also not in Big's social class--and it showed. He didn't really want to marry "down", and that was Natasha.

I always thought it was funny that Big was supposed to be of a higher social class, especially his attendance with Mah-Mah at an Episcopalian church. He looked like any other Manhattan striver out of CCNY or St John's Charlotte's first husband had the patrician manner and air totally missing from Big. I thought he and Carrie looks and acted from the same class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apart from being a self absored drama queen with the intellectual capacity of a rubber tree plant, she was also not in Big's social class--and it showed. He didn't really want to marry "down", and that was Natasha.

I always thought it was funny that Big was supposed to be of a higher social class, especially his attendance with Mah-Mah at an Episcopalian church. He looked like any other Manhattan striver out of CCNY or St John's Charlotte's first husband had the patrician manner and air totally missing from Big. I thought he and Carrie looks and acted from the same class.

Yes, I agree (I'm the one who wrote the comment above), but the writers made a point of it several times. He wasn't as well cast as Charlotte's husband in that sense. But he did still manage to come across as slightly less crass than Carrie.