What would you do? 11 year old boy embarrassed friend

[Anonymous]

In front of them, you just say loudly "no pantsing in this house!"

And in private, you berate your son for doing this, saying that some might feel humiliated and bullied. The bigger lesson is not to think that just because some friends laugh, the act is acceptable... it can lead to so many pitfalls for older teens, some of which are unfortunately not reversible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg, STOP!

You mentioning this to ANYONE will embarrass this boy more. You say nothing, nothing at all. He can talk to his own mom if he's embarrassed. I'd DIE if a friends mom approached me about this to discuss my feelings on pantsing.

I promise, he's already forgotten about, he'll simply make sure to get some payback on the kid who did.

TOTALLY!

The kid who was pantsed gets to decide what happens now. If there is anything to do, it is a quiet talk with your OWN SON ONLY about what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys used to pants each other all the time when I was that age in school.

Yup. The big dilemma: wear no underwear so you're immune to a wedgie, but then if you get pantsed everyone will see your naked ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a bit different, but the advice is the same. I was "pantsed" by a boy in gym class (I'm female) and he pulled my underwear down with my gym shorts. All I wanted was for it to go away and for everyone to forget about it. It's wrong, regardless of gender. But the "victim" likely wants everyone to forget it ever happened.

Wow. Back in my day pantsing boys was accepted but never, never girls. Definitely over the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a bit different, but the advice is the same. I was "pantsed" by a boy in gym class (I'm female) and he pulled my underwear down with my gym shorts. All I wanted was for it to go away and for everyone to forget about it. It's wrong, regardless of gender. But the "victim" likely wants everyone to forget it ever happened.

Wow. Back in my day pantsing boys was accepted but never, never girls. Definitely over the line.

This happened to a female friend in my high school, small private religious school too. The boy was sent to the principals office and I'm pretty sure he didn't get suspended. Mid 90s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In front of them, you just say loudly "no pantsing in this house!"

And in private, you berate your son for doing this, saying that some might feel humiliated and bullied. The bigger lesson is not to think that just because some friends laugh, the act is acceptable... it can lead to so many pitfalls for older teens, some of which are unfortunately not reversible.

Agree you need to say something to your son so he knows this isn't acceptable. He'll roll his eyes but the message will get through.

[Anonymous]

The time to handle this was when it happened, with a loud STOP IT.

Too late to do anything.

[Anonymous]

Normal. Drop it.

[Anonymous]

So you saw a butt. Big deal. I wouldn't think more of it

[Anonymous]

We had something similar happen at my house last week. I said that if they do that and the person decides to press charges, it is sexual assault, and they could go to jail. Hope that scared them straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys used to pants each other all the time when I was that age in school.

People used to do all kinds of stuff. Some of it was ok. Some of it wasn't. Pulling people's pants down is not ok.

"Boys, we don't play like that in this house. Do I need to send you home?" (as suggested by a PP) would have been a good thing for you to say, OP.

this.

this is assault - atleast battery.

look - in the mid 90's in elemantary school 'faggot' was a slur used in elementary and middle school all the time.

kids don't use that word anymore. we evolved as a society.

pants-ing is not ok and could be reported to authorities.

[Anonymous]

A friend of
Mines son did that in school. He was suspended and has a sexual harassment charge on his record. You need to discuss with your son that this is not ok and with the other parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of
Mines son did that in school. He was suspended and has a sexual harassment charge on his record. You need to discuss with your son that this is not ok and with the other parents.

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

OP there is a big difference between a child choosing to moon the others and being forced by someone else pulling down his pants. If a child willingly did it, I would say it's inappropriate and tell them the rules of your house. This scenario is different. It is not OK to violate another child's rights. What may seem harmless to some is now, as you can see from other posts, considered a sexual violation. I would be stern with the child and to be honest I might even call his parents to come get him. If he were 3 or 4 I would not make such a big deal, but by 11, unless he is cognitively impaired, he should know better. He violated the rights of another child. Better he learn now without any suspension or charges so he doesn't even think of doing worse to another when he is older. I would also make sure everyone knows this is not tolerated in your home.

As a mom of a boy I know boys do impulsive and regrettable things. You would be doing him a favor by making a big deal so he knows this is a BIG deal before he does something like this at school and gets suspended.

[Anonymous]

Tell your son not to do that, even though you know it wasn't him. So dumb especially now that everyone has a camera at all times.