I forgot about someone and now they are back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
"WHO???

Oh, him!

I'd completely forgotten all about him.

So he's back. Big whoop. I've moved on now."

This is what you should be thinking, OP.
Repeat this to yourself.

That's what I'd tell a woman. I guess since he's a guy we should be telling him he should be her friend and do more housework for her. Is that what you were expecting OP?

Of course we'd tell anyone not to go crawling back to someone like that. Have some self worth and stop considering it. She sounds like one of those awful women who strings people along to get something out of it, knowing they're never getting out of the friend zone. It's not a rom-com. She's showing you what kind of person she is and what kind of relationship she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You two may be soulmates. It would be a shame if you were and went through life not finding out.

OP here - that's what I think and on paper we have a lot in common, which she freely admits. It's a timing thing and told her I am willing to wait as she needs to be a mother first right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You two may be soulmates. It would be a shame if you were and went through life not finding out.

OP here - that's what I think and on paper we have a lot in common, which she freely admits. It's a timing thing and told her I am willing to wait as she needs to be a mother first right now.

Mraaaaa this sounds super unhealthy OP. You're stuck in the spell and can't admit to yourself that she's playing you - she wants to have her cake and eat it too. Or, more directly: she wants to make sure she has you waiting on the back burner and can come back to you intermittently for attention / ego-stroking / a backup plan if she's feeling alone...etc. But she's not willing to give you anything back on her end. She has the upper hand and she knows it, and you're essentially telling her she can have it for the long haul. That's messed up, no? Think about it like this: how could she respect you (or anyone else who would willingly consent to being in that position)? Answer: she does not. To be clear I am NOT calling you this, and I do not think YOU should feel this way, but the truth is that she (even if it's unconscious) sees you as somewhat pathetic. I know that sounds harsh but you should know that's the truth; I don't think I'm doing you any favors by sugarcoating it, and I assume honest feedback is why you posted.

Also:
1) your posts aren't very well-written and lack of lot of detail / focus / clarity, so I'm going on what you have chosen to share. You're welcome to share more of the story (give us some sort of timeline and context) if you want more specific thoughts
2) the "might be your soulmate" poster is a well-known troll who shows up and posts that on every relationship thread, no matter the circumstances. I picture it as a bitter 40 something short man but obviously just a guess; and either way not to be taken seriously

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You two may be soulmates. It would be a shame if you were and went through life not finding out.

OP here - that's what I think and on paper we have a lot in common, which she freely admits. It's a timing thing and told her I am willing to wait as she needs to be a mother first right now.

Mraaaaa this sounds super unhealthy OP. You're stuck in the spell and can't admit to yourself that she's playing you - she wants to have her cake and eat it too. Or, more directly: she wants to make sure she has you waiting on the back burner and can come back to you intermittently for attention / ego-stroking / a backup plan if she's feeling alone...etc. But she's not willing to give you anything back on her end. She has the upper hand and she knows it, and you're essentially telling her she can have it for the long haul. That's messed up, no? Think about it like this: how could she respect you (or anyone else who would willingly consent to being in that position)? Answer: she does not. To be clear I am NOT calling you this, and I do not think YOU should feel this way, but the truth is that she (even if it's unconscious) sees you as somewhat pathetic. I know that sounds harsh but you should know that's the truth; I don't think I'm doing you any favors by sugarcoating it, and I assume honest feedback is why you posted.

Also:
1) your posts aren't very well-written and lack of lot of detail / focus / clarity, so I'm going on what you have chosen to share. You're welcome to share more of the story (give us some sort of timeline and context) if you want more specific thoughts
2) the "might be your soulmate" poster is a well-known troll who shows up and posts that on every relationship thread, no matter the circumstances. I picture it as a bitter 40 something short man but obviously just a guess; and either way not to be taken seriously

Thanks PP - I know I am stuck in the spell and freely admit that I see that pattern continuing. I won't go out of my way for her like last time and let nature take its course. Not sharing anymore though and will subscribe to the once burn, twice shy theory. Onward and upward!

[Anonymous]

She likes the attention. Don't be her victim (again). Sorry OP. We've ALL been there. The only difference is some of us learned our lesson earlier than others.

[Anonymous]

I met a guy who was more into me than I was into him, but I was always nice. He would become passive aggressive at times, which in part was why I wasn't into him. He reaches out once in awhile, but wished he wouldn't as I have long moved on.