My toddler had a meltdown and scared an older kid with SN

[Anonymous]

Shit happens.

[Anonymous]

You're never "trapped". Abandon cart if it's that bad. Your kid, not your groceries, is the most important thing in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Why are posters being so nasty to OP?

This is clearly a case of two overwhelmed children and two overwhelmed mothers. No one fought, no one accused the other of anything. Each was trying to deal in a hectic situation.

Quite beautiful, in fact, by DCUM standards, considering we had this long thread this morning with the angry mother who accused us all of not understanding and accommodating her autistic son's spitting and not taking turns.

I completely understand the part about not being to focus on several things at once, OP - I would not have been able to do that either.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like an uncomfortable situation, but its over with, and everyone survived. Move on and forget about it.

[Anonymous]

OP here - sure I could have abandoned my cart and asked everyone to move out of my way - but it wasn't that bad, though it was uncomfortable. And we had made it all the way through the store with a loaded cart - no way was I going to abandon it.

Actually, at the time I felt bad for both kids and both us moms! It just struck me I think because the boy was really tall - like a full grown man and when he started to get upset - it took me a minute to understand what was happening (I have not been around kids with SN). And it took me a second to understand what the mom was saying too because I was trying to pay attention to my toddler. In fact, as I think back on it, I think the mom was trying to reassure me. It just happened pretty quickly.

I don't necessarily want to forget about it because I learned something from it, even if how to be more sensitive to those around us and what they might be experiencing.

[Anonymous]

OP, what is your actual question? You seem to want headpats for something, but even that isn't clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is your actual question? You seem to want headpats for something, but even that isn't clear.

There wasn't a question. I was just relating an experience. That's allowed isn't it?

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure why the other mom was telling you anything. You both had upset kids, either one of you could have left if you felt it was necessary.

I'm not sure either why other posters think she needed five minutes of OP's time?

It happened, move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is your actual question? You seem to want headpats for something, but even that isn't clear.

There wasn't a question. I was just relating an experience. That's allowed isn't it?

But, why? What is the purpose of sharing this? You seem to want kudos for really average parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the real world. Her son will have the same issues with other things that happen which can't be controlled. Not your fault.

I have a SN brother and he's learned to deal with it because the real world is like that, and we cant' always control it for him.

This. There are things she can do to help him manage the stimulus of another child having a tantrum. And she can decide to ignore people staring at her son.

You should ask people to step out of line so you can tend to your toddler, though. I bet everyone would have been understanding. Plus, they get to move up a spot!

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me like you both were trying to manage your kids and possibly check in with another parent going through something similar. I have no understanding of all of the critical comments on your post. It just seems like people got mean for no reason. She might've been trying to explain what was going on so that you weren't worried. Or maybe seeking help. Who knows? Never hurts to ask, but it's also OK to manage what you can. Sounds like it was a rough moment for everyone. Also just a moment.

My kid melted down in the grocery store today too. She was not quiet even a little bit. I was thankful that the people around us were kind enough to check in non verbally. Kind of an acknowledgment that they had been there. That give me space to comfort her and find a way to calm her down so we could finish our grocery shop. Because sometimes you have to.

Every parent has dealt with this. Don't let the criticisms of others knock you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is your actual question? You seem to want headpats for something, but even that isn't clear.

There wasn't a question. I was just relating an experience. That's allowed isn't it?

Think folks on this board only allow that if you're snarking or judging. Real life moments get picked apart, quickly. The whims of anonymity can be intensely supportive or savage for non reason.

It's fine you related an incredibly relatable moment. Not everything is a question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is your actual question? You seem to want headpats for something, but even that isn't clear.

There wasn't a question. I was just relating an experience. That's allowed isn't it?

But, why? What is the purpose of sharing this? You seem to want kudos for really average parenting.

Cool story, bro. Perhaps that is the response you were looking for, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much attention did your toddler need? Yes, first time mom of 1 child you get a special pat on the back for managing a melt down in public.

Where should we send your award?

stop being rude. OP you did nothing wrong. Kids have meltdowns. You are not responsible for another 13 year old. THAT mom is responsible for her kid. if he was getting agitated then she needed to remove him from the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of a line could you not escape the moment the tantrum started?

Clearly you did not read the post PP. It was a QUIET meltdown. People only started staring because the other kid was making a scene. Not her kid. Apparently she's a perfect parent whose toddler only had quiet meltdowns that no one else notices.

I need to get lessons on how to get my kid to have a quiet meltdown. Sign me up.

My DD had a temper tantrum that involved her laying down on her stomach on the floor of a store. She was silent. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood near her so nobody would step on her accidentally. After maybe a minute or 90 seconds she got up and acted normally. It wasn't until I described it to a friend that she told me "That was DD's version of a temper tantrum."

Also, a line at the super market can trap you physically, if everyone has shoppigng carts.