To move or not to move?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a good friend that recently moved and they were back in 6 months.

Reasons given:

The job environments were not interesting or challenging so both parents felt they would be professionally unfulfilled.
Didn't feel they were meeting people they could relate to.
The mom specifically said to me she was the only woman in her (large) workplace who was a working mom. She didn't like this. (I wouldn't either.)

This is an anonymous forum, so let's just keep it real. In a small-town, the people are statistically less likely to be well-educated and progressive in politics, if you care about such things. Women are less likely to work with kids, if you care about such things. People are likely to have had their kids younger, if you care about such things. This does not mean they are not all lovely people and it wouldn't be a great way of life. It just is what it is.

But those are the kinds of things I would be thinking about.

I'm the first PP who is moving this summer. I agree with this a lot which is why we chose an area of the country where we're more likely to find like-minded people and where being a working mom is not unusual. I can think of several of places, west coast, northeast, etc where the pace of life can be slower without having to give up the social aspects that we enjoy.

Probably a college town, I'm guessing? If you're willing to share, I'm interested to hear.

You're right, a college town, which is one of the reasons we chose it. We're moving to Corvallis, Oregon. It'll be a big shift for us but we were also considering Vermont, Western Massachusetts, Maine, Washington State and parts of California. For me, it being a college town is key to the kind of people we want to surround ourselves with.

Thanks for responding. Pacific Northwest is a beautiful part of the country. Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

I'm interested to know where people relocated, especially the PP who relocated to a beach town. My DREAM is to live near water, somewhere relatively temperate. I'd be fine in a small city or even a little town. If I could take Portland Maine, for example, and place it somewhere that is not cold 300 days/year, that would be IDEAL for me. My partner and I have some flexibility in terms of work location, but we just can't figure out our perfect location. Anyone know of water-side small-ish cities or cool towns that are not as cold as Maine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a good friend that recently moved and they were back in 6 months.

Reasons given:

The job environments were not interesting or challenging so both parents felt they would be professionally unfulfilled.
Didn't feel they were meeting people they could relate to.
The mom specifically said to me she was the only woman in her (large) workplace who was a working mom. She didn't like this. (I wouldn't either.)

This is an anonymous forum, so let's just keep it real. In a small-town, the people are statistically less likely to be well-educated and progressive in politics, if you care about such things. Women are less likely to work with kids, if you care about such things. People are likely to have had their kids younger, if you care about such things. This does not mean they are not all lovely people and it wouldn't be a great way of life. It just is what it is.

But those are the kinds of things I would be thinking about.

I'm the first PP who is moving this summer. I agree with this a lot which is why we chose an area of the country where we're more likely to find like-minded people and where being a working mom is not unusual. I can think of several of places, west coast, northeast, etc where the pace of life can be slower without having to give up the social aspects that we enjoy.

Probably a college town, I'm guessing? If you're willing to share, I'm interested to hear.

You're right, a college town, which is one of the reasons we chose it. We're moving to Corvallis, Oregon. It'll be a big shift for us but we were also considering Vermont, Western Massachusetts, Maine, Washington State and parts of California. For me, it being a college town is key to the kind of people we want to surround ourselves with.

Thanks for responding. Pacific Northwest is a beautiful part of the country. Enjoy!

Thanks! We'll see how it goes. I should also mention that we have a new line item on our budget. We're saving for general travel, ideally for family who are closer to us now but will have to fly to visit us in the future. With the lower COL we're hoping to help pay for our family and very close friends to visit us if they're able.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm interested to know where people relocated, especially the PP who relocated to a beach town. My DREAM is to live near water, somewhere relatively temperate. I'd be fine in a small city or even a little town. If I could take Portland Maine, for example, and place it somewhere that is not cold 300 days/year, that would be IDEAL for me. My partner and I have some flexibility in terms of work location, but we just can't figure out our perfect location. Anyone know of water-side small-ish cities or cool towns that are not as cold as Maine?

We're moving to Virginia Beach. My firm has an office there and my husband does a lot of work down there anyway.

[Anonymous]

Oh I just posted a similar question in Off Topic!

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/0/655239.page#11218856

[Anonymous]

I grew up in Utah and sometimes I find myself dreaming about moving back for the slower pace of life. But then I stop kidding myself -- there is a reason I and many others choose to move away from those types of places and move to DC. As a girl I was told that my purpose in life was to be a good mother and a good wife. I knew only one mother who worked outside of the home when I was growing up, and she did part time work in the education field. The other working women I met were teachers. People were extremely provincial and didn't like outsiders. They had (many) children young. Even though the cost of living was lower, there was constant stress among the mothers to keep up with each other -- their kids had to be doing all of the activities, all of the time.

Nah, I'm staying here. Places with high costs of living are that way for a reason.

Think carefully about the place you'll be moving to if you leave. At least pick a college town.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you all so much for your responses! I feel like I'm reading through the thoughts in my own head. All our family is in New England and while I would love to move back north, my husband's job would require us to stay within a few hours of D.C. We are mostly considering the Richmond area so not a major relocation but definitely a lifestyle change. I'm happy to hear many of you have moved and haven't looked back.

[Anonymous]

Here are a couple other similar threads:

Young couples with kids---Where did you move to from the DC area?
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/547145.page

Spinoff: Did you move out of DC/VA/MD area, hate it and move back?
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/482281.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all so much for your responses! I feel like I'm reading through the thoughts in my own head. All our family is in New England and while I would love to move back north, my husband's job would require us to stay within a few hours of D.C. We are mostly considering the Richmond area so not a major relocation but definitely a lifestyle change. I'm happy to hear many of you have moved and haven't looked back.

I have a few friends with young families that have relocated from DC to Richmond in the last few years. I think it's the next Charlottesville, in terms of DC folks escaping DC but not going too far. My family is also in New England and I'd love to figure out somewhere between DC and NE that has the DC/city perks with a lower cost of living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all so much for your responses! I feel like I'm reading through the thoughts in my own head. All our family is in New England and while I would love to move back north, my husband's job would require us to stay within a few hours of D.C. We are mostly considering the Richmond area so not a major relocation but definitely a lifestyle change. I'm happy to hear many of you have moved and haven't looked back.

I lived in Richmond for five years before moving to DC and I loved it! So many different kinds of neighborhoods to choose from - there is not just one type of Richmond living. Charlottesville is also awesome, and a college town, as others posted about (Richmond is too, of course, but it has a different college town feel than Charlottesville). My friend's parents lived in Keswick, which is east of C'ville, closer to Richmond, and it was super cute. My firm also has an office in Richmond but my husband couldn't work there so we haven't considered it, but my co-workers are super happy there.

[Anonymous]

We made the move. In Arlington, we were doing fine financially and career-wise, and both DH and I had great (on paper) jobs. Our kids are ES age and we're happy in school and friends, and we were very happy with the schools. We did not own our house and did not have local family (grandparents were driving distance). We felt that life was too stressful here and there wasn't enough time and we didn't have the energy to do any of the great things the area has to offer.

We are much happier in our slower pace, lower COL city. We have a nice house (for less than half the cost of houses we looked at in Arlington) in a great school district. DH had a job lined up but I didn't, and I found one that pays more than I made in DC. People are generally nicer. It was tough to move with ES age kids, but I'm glad we did and I think raising them here will be better for the whole family.

I would move if you can, unless you have local family. That's invaluable and a good reason to stay put.

[Anonymous]

Everybody posting about where you moved to, WHERE DID YOU MOVE? Thank you to the PPer who said VA Beach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a good friend that recently moved and they were back in 6 months.

Reasons given:

The job environments were not interesting or challenging so both parents felt they would be professionally unfulfilled.
Didn't feel they were meeting people they could relate to.
The mom specifically said to me she was the only woman in her (large) workplace who was a working mom. She didn't like this. (I wouldn't either.)

This is an anonymous forum, so let's just keep it real. In a small-town, the people are statistically less likely to be well-educated and progressive in politics, if you care about such things. Women are less likely to work with kids, if you care about such things. People are likely to have had their kids younger, if you care about such things. This does not mean they are not all lovely people and it wouldn't be a great way of life. It just is what it is.

But those are the kinds of things I would be thinking about.

I'm the first PP who is moving this summer. I agree with this a lot which is why we chose an area of the country where we're more likely to find like-minded people and where being a working mom is not unusual. I can think of several of places, west coast, northeast, etc where the pace of life can be slower without having to give up the social aspects that we enjoy.

Probably a college town, I'm guessing? If you're willing to share, I'm interested to hear.

You're right, a college town, which is one of the reasons we chose it. We're moving to Corvallis, Oregon. It'll be a big shift for us but we were also considering Vermont, Western Massachusetts, Maine, Washington State and parts of California. For me, it being a college town is key to the kind of people we want to surround ourselves with.

I visited my high school best friend who moved to Corvallis two years ago. It's truly a lovely, lovely place to live. Her life with her husband and four kids is pretty idyllic. Like we're talking a 5 minute walk to the kids school, and her husband's job, husband comes home for lunch, ten minute drive to the youngest child's day care, five minute walk to kids after school activities. Very welcoming religious community that has provided ample friendships. Very progressive, hippie place to be. Good food. Housing is more expensive than you might expect, given the university and tech companies, but it will be cheap compared to DC. My friend has struggled with depression there though - the lack of sunlight and the constant rain is no joke. She also very much missed her tight-knit community, as did her kids, which caused some transition issues. One kid continues to say she doesn't like it when asked about it explicity, though the others have since adjusted. Nothing is perfect, but Corvallis comes pretty close.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everybody posting about where you moved to, WHERE DID YOU MOVE? Thank you to the PPer who said VA Beach.

PP with the pro/con list. Austin, TX.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a good friend that recently moved and they were back in 6 months.

Reasons given:

The job environments were not interesting or challenging so both parents felt they would be professionally unfulfilled.
Didn't feel they were meeting people they could relate to.
The mom specifically said to me she was the only woman in her (large) workplace who was a working mom. She didn't like this. (I wouldn't either.)

This is an anonymous forum, so let's just keep it real. In a small-town, the people are statistically less likely to be well-educated and progressive in politics, if you care about such things. Women are less likely to work with kids, if you care about such things. People are likely to have had their kids younger, if you care about such things. This does not mean they are not all lovely people and it wouldn't be a great way of life. It just is what it is.

But those are the kinds of things I would be thinking about.

I'm the first PP who is moving this summer. I agree with this a lot which is why we chose an area of the country where we're more likely to find like-minded people and where being a working mom is not unusual. I can think of several of places, west coast, northeast, etc where the pace of life can be slower without having to give up the social aspects that we enjoy.

Probably a college town, I'm guessing? If you're willing to share, I'm interested to hear.

You're right, a college town, which is one of the reasons we chose it. We're moving to Corvallis, Oregon. It'll be a big shift for us but we were also considering Vermont, Western Massachusetts, Maine, Washington State and parts of California. For me, it being a college town is key to the kind of people we want to surround ourselves with.

I visited my high school best friend who moved to Corvallis two years ago. It's truly a lovely, lovely place to live. Her life with her husband and four kids is pretty idyllic. Like we're talking a 5 minute walk to the kids school, and her husband's job, husband comes home for lunch, ten minute drive to the youngest child's day care, five minute walk to kids after school activities. Very welcoming religious community that has provided ample friendships. Very progressive, hippie place to be. Good food. Housing is more expensive than you might expect, given the university and tech companies, but it will be cheap compared to DC. My friend has struggled with depression there though - the lack of sunlight and the constant rain is no joke. She also very much missed her tight-knit community, as did her kids, which caused some transition issues. One kid continues to say she doesn't like it when asked about it explicity, though the others have since adjusted. Nothing is perfect, but Corvallis comes pretty close.....

Forgot to add - I don't have kids and don't want any. Without a challenging job or the distraction of kids, there's a good chance I would be bored as fuck in Corvallis long term. It's also not diverse enough. I literally saw two black people the entire time I was there, and we stopped and had a conversation about being the only black people in Corvallis...lol...