To move or not to move?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Also, smaller city or doesn't always mean friendly people who roll out the welcome wagon. Many parents of young children I've met already have solid ties in my area-- they went to high school here, they moved away and returned, for example, and are still close with their local friends and cousins. Their weekends are spent with those people and they don't have much room in their lives-- nor desire for-- new friends. It's helpful to know if where you want to move has a good number of transplants from other cities and states. Ask yourself, where will you fit in? Is there a good parents' MeetUp? Are you someone ready and willing to join activities for both yourself and your DC, make the effort on weekends to get to know other people, take classes, etc.?

We found that our realtor was actually a helpful gauge on this topic. She was working with lots of D.C. transplant families and let us know where they were looking. She had also previously lived up here. I also think having kids help you meet new people. I specifically talked to the admissions director at the school where our girls will go and she noted several other transplant parents in their grade and others.

[Anonymous]

We moved to Minneapolis for my husband's job two years ago....I really miss how easy it is to meet people in DC (in a city of transplants no one just hangs out with their high school buddies!). Friendly Midwestern cities can be very isolating because people are outwardly *very* nice but just don't include you in their social activities on weekends. Having a nice house in a lower cost of living town is nice, but I would trade it all in for my 2bd condo, walkable restaurants, and my DC crew. My husband gets back to the east coast frequently but guess who is home with our toddler while he's on travel....
-Lonely in Minnesota.

[Anonymous]

If we could find jobs there, DH and I would move back to Ithaca, NY in a heartbeat. We loved our time there when we went to Cornell and the liberal environment and access to arts/culture and nature are amazing.

[Anonymous]

I lived in a small town (population 20,000) before moving here. I am a doctor, so finding a job in the local hospital was easy. It was the small, easy, slower pace of life that you mentioned. There wasn't a ton to do, but everything was easy to get to and participate in. 80% of kids athletics take place at the YMCA until third grade or so. Our children's librarian was very dedicated and had tons of storylines and science Fridays with the kids at the branch campus of a local college.
My kids spent a lot of time playing outside with other kids, working and digging up worms in the garden, cooking, and canning. Almost everyone had a garden and canned and froze things in season. There was no such thing as a food desert there. Even people so poor they had dirt floors still had access to fresh fruits and vegetables.
It was hard to make friends, and you have to let go of the idea that your friends are going to be just like you. In the city, a lot of our friends are other two-physician couples with small children. In the country, my best friend was a SAHM who lived in a trailer park. We also had friends who were much older and younger than us and had different SES, older kids, or no kids.

We ultimately ended up moving because a small town is where your career goes to die, and DH wanted to work with people who were much younger and closer to the brink of death.