Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have overbooked your kids and it is wrong. Grandpa and access is irrelevant, but she is right in that kids should not have that many activities. Boredom is the king of best inventions and stimulates great minds. Let them be bored, stop micromanaging and being insane. Plus you will save money and they might sleep more and end up taller. You sound not like a helicopter mom, but a drone mom!

Oh for Pete's sake. Stop trolling.

[Anonymous]

Repeat after me: it's ok for keep saying to be bored. Boredom make you appreciate non boredom. Boredom fuels the imagination. Kids can do chores around the house if they are bored.

Also why can't grandma take them out of camp on those random tuesdays she's available? So they go to camp 4 days instead of 5 that week. Big deal.

But mostly, grandma is right. Your kids are over scheduled and really need and deserve time to be bored. It's for their benefit, I promise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Repeat after me: it's ok for keep saying to be bored. Boredom make you appreciate non boredom. Boredom fuels the imagination. Kids can do chores around the house if they are bored.

Also why can't grandma take them out of camp on those random tuesdays she's available? So they go to camp 4 days instead of 5 that week. Big deal.

But mostly, grandma is right. Your kids are over scheduled and really need and deserve time to be bored. It's for their benefit, I promise.

You support Grandma's entitled behavior? Interesting. That seems like the opposite of modeling good behavior to the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I've ruined the grandparents by allowing them, for the most part, free access to the grandkids.

Visiting my mom and some family friends this weekend, my mom basically threw me under the bus for "making it difficult for her to see the kids over the summer." They are at the age where, if allowed too much unscheduled time in the summer, they are bored and drive each other and everyone else nuts. They were each signed up for a half-day summer camp, and both have recreational activities/social activities in the evenings (whether it be dance or practice or playing at friend's houses.) My mom basically thinks it's unfair they are so scheduled, since she can't see them much during school, and now she can't see them during the summer.

We DO plan "weekends at grandparents" I'd say 1-1.5 times a month with each set of grandparents. We also make time to to a dinner about 1 time a month with each. Then sprinkle in random visits as well.

My mom is upset we have the kids on schedules this summer. She claims, she would take them on "random Tuesday's" so I "didn't need to sign them up for camp. But she forgets they would be home and bored M, W,Th, F. Not only that, they love camp! Their friends are there and they enjoy their activities there.

How do you handle this when kids get older and start having a busy social calendar?

If they are in a half day camp, and grandma lives nearby, why can't grandma pick them up on Tuesday and take them to her house; then have fun, feed them dinner and return them home for bed?

[Anonymous]

But mostly, grandma is right. Your kids are over scheduled and really need and deserve time to be bored. It's for their benefit, I promise.

What information is this conclusion based on? OP says the kids go to a half day camp, and have dance class and play dates sometimes. How is that overscheduling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have overbooked your kids and it is wrong. Grandpa and access is irrelevant, but she is right in that kids should not have that many activities. Boredom is the king of best inventions and stimulates great minds. Let them be bored, stop micromanaging and being insane. Plus you will save money and they might sleep more and end up taller. You sound not like a helicopter mom, but a drone mom!

Oh good fucking grief. Half day camp and evening activities (which INCLUDE playing with friends) is not "overbooked". You're ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

My son spends the 2 weeks right after school get out with his grandparents. This way before he is too scheduled with camps and vacation he gets to spend time with them.

This works well for us. So for next summer (if you are all booked up this summer) ask her when she wants the kids and then don't plan a camp for that week. She has to understand that she needs to provide to provide full time care as you won't be sending them to camp that week.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'm sorry I asked lol Grandma isn't happy because after camp "isn't enough time" for her to plan something fun. And "they'd be tired". Basically, yes. She's whining.

Kids aren't overscheduled, they just like camp (thankfully, because they are going!) and they like their chosen activities. When they come home from camp, they love making calls and finding out who is playing where. It's summer! They are out having fun! (They are both old enough to get on bikes and cruise the neighborhood like we did when we were young.) And like I said, I DO make ample time for grandparents, I think. I believe a weekend a month and a couple days sprinkled in between us plenty fair.

[Anonymous]

What about one afternoon a week after camp and before evening activities? If you can't find a couple of hours during the week for grandma time then you are way over scheduling your children. Kids also need to learn to entertain themselves and not be too dependent on organized activities. My DS loves to spend time with his GD and we can always find time once a week for them to do "guy" stuff for a couple of hours. Frankly, after 2-3 hours my Dad is usually worn out.

[Anonymous]

If you can't find a couple of hours during the week for grandma time then you are way over scheduling your children.

She said that Grandma is not interested in seeing them for a few hours after the half day camp. That's not an issue of being unable to find "a couple of hours during the week" for Grandma, it is an issue of Grandma rejecting times that the kids are available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm sorry I asked lol Grandma isn't happy because after camp "isn't enough time" for her to plan something fun. And "they'd be tired". Basically, yes. She's whining.

Kids aren't overscheduled, they just like camp (thankfully, because they are going!) and they like their chosen activities. When they come home from camp, they love making calls and finding out who is playing where. It's summer! They are out having fun! (They are both old enough to get on bikes and cruise the neighborhood like we did when we were young.) And like I said, I DO make ample time for grandparents, I think. I believe a weekend a month and a couple days sprinkled in between us plenty fair.

Grandma sounds like a pill. I think it's time you ignore her. If pressed, you point out that summer vacation is about the kids, not about her.

[Anonymous]

You are in the wrong, OP.

The mistake is not communicating with your mother about summer plans before you signed them up for camps and activities.

You can remedy this now, and nix some playdates so that they can see their Grandmother if she doesn't live too far away.
If these are the low-intensity camps, you can even declare a couple of days in July and August "playing hooky" and have your kids spend the whole day at Grandma's! Not so much if the kids are in targeted one week camps with a performance at the end.

Have you been on a vacation with the grandparents? You could all go somewhere for one week.

In short, this is a planning error on your part, with the underlying issue that you didn't prioritize Grandma time. She won't be around for very long, you know.

[Anonymous]

It wouldn't matter if they missed a random Tuesday to spend with her if they are enjoying camp the rest of the time... And I wouldn't think of it in terms of grandma "throwing a fit"... Let your kids make those memories!

[Anonymous]

PP again - I'm only now seeing Grandma refuses to see them in the afternoon.

OK, she's wrong too.

Next year, sit down with her with the schedule and say, when would you like a week with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You are in the wrong, OP.

The mistake is not communicating with your mother about summer plans before you signed them up for camps and activities.

You can remedy this now, and nix some playdates so that they can see their Grandmother if she doesn't live too far away.
If these are the low-intensity camps, you can even declare a couple of days in July and August "playing hooky" and have your kids spend the whole day at Grandma's! Not so much if the kids are in targeted one week camps with a performance at the end.

Have you been on a vacation with the grandparents? You could all go somewhere for one week.

In short, this is a planning error on your part, with the underlying issue that you didn't prioritize Grandma time. She won't be around for very long, you know.

Wait. We have to consult our PARENTS before we make summer plans now? This is news to me. Are they also required to consult with US before they make plans?

This is by far the dumbest comment I've read here in a while.