Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule

[Anonymous]

I think I've ruined the grandparents by allowing them, for the most part, free access to the grandkids.

Visiting my mom and some family friends this weekend, my mom basically threw me under the bus for "making it difficult for her to see the kids over the summer." They are at the age where, if allowed too much unscheduled time in the summer, they are bored and drive each other and everyone else nuts. They were each signed up for a half-day summer camp, and both have recreational activities/social activities in the evenings (whether it be dance or practice or playing at friend's houses.) My mom basically thinks it's unfair they are so scheduled, since she can't see them much during school, and now she can't see them during the summer.

We DO plan "weekends at grandparents" I'd say 1-1.5 times a month with each set of grandparents. We also make time to to a dinner about 1 time a month with each. Then sprinkle in random visits as well.

My mom is upset we have the kids on schedules this summer. She claims, she would take them on "random Tuesday's" so I "didn't need to sign them up for camp. But she forgets they would be home and bored M, W,Th, F. Not only that, they love camp! Their friends are there and they enjoy their activities there.

How do you handle this when kids get older and start having a busy social calendar?

[Anonymous]

Ask grandma what week she would like to run Camp Grandma

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask grandma what week she would like to run Camp Grandma

Unfortunatley, that's not going to happen. I prepayed camp and I'd be out about $500 if you factor in field trips, pool money, camp itself, and their practices.

[Anonymous]

Explain the situation-- that they need stuff to do, that they enjoy camp and their friends. Then suggest she have them for a week-- a whole week -- and that would satisfy everyone's needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask grandma what week she would like to run Camp Grandma

Unfortunatley, that's not going to happen. I prepayed camp and I'd be out about $500 if you factor in field trips, pool money, camp itself, and their practices.

So suggest it for next summer.

For now, give her times and dates that will work for you. Then end the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Are they old enough to spend a weekend or two with the grandparents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask grandma what week she would like to run Camp Grandma

Unfortunatley, that's not going to happen. I prepayed camp and I'd be out about $500 if you factor in field trips, pool money, camp itself, and their practices.

Three thoughts--1) what does it matter if you're out the $500; Camp Grandma doesn't cost anything and it would make her happy. You can think of it as paying $500 for Camp Grandma. 2) What are the kids doing the week before school starts when camps traditionally are not available--could they spend the week with her then? or 3) Can they spend the week with her and she take them to camp and pick them up after and do all the things during the week that you would do with them? Let her house be the base for a week.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? My son is almost 9, and , because my parents understand that it is normal and socially appropriate that he wants to spend time at activities and with friends. They see DS around 4 days a week, after camp (gets out at 3) and then usually once ever other weekend. But they also get involved with his activities during the year - my dad often takes him to cub scout meetings (there are so many kids that they required a parent to stay, absent some special circumstance, even in 3rd grade).

[Anonymous]

You have overbooked your kids and it is wrong. Grandpa and access is irrelevant, but she is right in that kids should not have that many activities. Boredom is the king of best inventions and stimulates great minds. Let them be bored, stop micromanaging and being insane. Plus you will save money and they might sleep more and end up taller. You sound not like a helicopter mom, but a drone mom!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask grandma what week she would like to run Camp Grandma

Unfortunatley, that's not going to happen. I prepayed camp and I'd be out about $500 if you factor in field trips, pool money, camp itself, and their practices.

Three thoughts--1) what does it matter if you're out the $500; Camp Grandma doesn't cost anything and it would make her happy. You can think of it as paying $500 for Camp Grandma. 2) What are the kids doing the week before school starts when camps traditionally are not available--could they spend the week with her then? or 3) Can they spend the week with her and she take them to camp and pick them up after and do all the things during the week that you would do with them? Let her house be the base for a week.

I never thought about the week before school. I may suggest that. I know they won't want to spend a whole week there, but maybe a 3-day.

[Anonymous]

And why can't she take them on a random Tuesday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask grandma what week she would like to run Camp Grandma

Unfortunatley, that's not going to happen. I prepayed camp and I'd be out about $500 if you factor in field trips, pool money, camp itself, and their practices.

Three thoughts--1) what does it matter if you're out the $500; Camp Grandma doesn't cost anything and it would make her happy. You can think of it as paying $500 for Camp Grandma. 2) What are the kids doing the week before school starts when camps traditionally are not available--could they spend the week with her then? or 3) Can they spend the week with her and she take them to camp and pick them up after and do all the things during the week that you would do with them? Let her house be the base for a week.

NP!!!
That is crazy !!!!!!!!!!!!
Waste $500, who are you Melinda Gates???

[Anonymous]

Three thoughts--1) what does it matter if you're out the $500; Camp Grandma doesn't cost anything and it would make her happy. You can think of it as paying $500 for Camp Grandma.

But OP said her kids enjoy going to the camp - why shouldn't they go if she's paid for it already?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have overbooked your kids and it is wrong. Grandpa and access is irrelevant, but she is right in that kids should not have that many activities. Boredom is the king of best inventions and stimulates great minds. Let them be bored, stop micromanaging and being insane. Plus you will save money and they might sleep more and end up taller. You sound not like a helicopter mom, but a drone mom!

? These are activities that they asked to do. My daughter is in a dance clinic with friends, and my son does basketball with some of his friends. Camp is mandatory, because I need a break too. I'm not going to tell my kids they don't need to socialize and do activities because grandma doesn't approve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask grandma what week she would like to run Camp Grandma

Unfortunatley, that's not going to happen. I prepayed camp and I'd be out about $500 if you factor in field trips, pool money, camp itself, and their practices.

Three thoughts--1) what does it matter if you're out the $500; Camp Grandma doesn't cost anything and it would make her happy. You can think of it as paying $500 for Camp Grandma. 2) What are the kids doing the week before school starts when camps traditionally are not available--could they spend the week with her then? or 3) Can they spend the week with her and she take them to camp and pick them up after and do all the things during the week that you would do with them? Let her house be the base for a week.

I don't think it's a good idea to set the precedent that Grandma can throw a fit and schedules get rearranged to her benefit. I wouldn't tolerate that in toddlers, let alone an adult. Frankly I think the idea that you need to keep their schedule free so she can drop by at random times of her liking is pretty entitled behavior.