Very strange predicament - paternity test?

[Anonymous]

Tell you DH now. He has a right to know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell you DH now. He has a right to know

Bullshit. I would NOT want to know. I have two kids and love them with all of my heart and finding out they were no biologically mine would not help anyone.

[Anonymous]

When was your LMP?

Also you could look at eye color and blood type...

[Anonymous]

Listen, far too many of us have been in a situation where something non-consensual happened whether it was from drinking too much or being slipped a drug. I guarantee you that 99% of everyone to whom this has happened knew when they woke up. In my case, I was incredibly sore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listen, far too many of us have been in a situation where something non-consensual happened whether it was from drinking too much or being slipped a drug. I guarantee you that 99% of everyone to whom this has happened knew when they woke up. In my case, I was incredibly sore.

I think that depends on what happened. It sounds like she doesn't remember going back to her room. That doesn't mean that she was passed out or not participating. It just means that she'd been drugged (either with some kind of pill or with simply drinking way too much) and blacked out. She could still have been participating and could have very little in the way of morning-after physical symptoms if the sex was consensual-seeming but not actually consensual due to being blacked out. I speak from experience. I was sure that I'd had sex because I was naked and there was a condom in my bathroom trashcan and a man in my bed, but I don't actually remember the sex itself.

[Anonymous]

This is why all men, married or not, should always do a paternity test at some point to make sure their kids are their own.

[Anonymous]

You have some imagination... why wouldn't you think you were raped back then? Why now? Just because of pictures? Seriously, seek help.

[Anonymous]

At home pregnancy tests in 2004 were not sensitive enough to pick up a 2 week old pregnancy. They would have been sensitive to pick up a 3.5 week pregnancy. I'd let this rest on that fact and never speak of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cohort is a group. It does not mean colleague.

+1 https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cohort

[Anonymous]

If it were me, I'd want to know. I don't know what I'd do with the information once I found out, but I'd want to investigate this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cohort is a group. It does not mean colleague.

+1 https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cohort

Lol did you even read the link you posted??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think that right now, it sounds like either nothing happened - you had some wine, your colleague was creepy, you brushed him off, and you were already pregnant with a son who looks nothing like your husband - or you were raped by your colleague after he spiked your drink and became pregnant as a result of that encounter. Setting aside how f-ed up and wrong the second scenario is, you could also consider things like your son's birthday in relation to the potential dates of conception (election night and the other night). Was he large when he was born? Did he come early? These are questions that might help you with some of the baby-related math.
As for your current situation, I think that truthfully, if I was in your situation, I would try to forget about it and continue with my life. Bringing this up will bring a world of pain onto your entire family, and for what? The only thing I can think of would be to get your son his accurate family medical history. But doing so will tell a 12yo boy that his mother was sexually assaulted, that his father is a rapist who poisoned a woman to rape her, and that the man he's always thought was his father is not his biological father after all. Your husband may not believe you that it wasn't consensual (like that PP up thread who suggested that this is a situation where you regret sex you had willingly and are now trying to cover your tracks because your son looks like the man you slept with).

I see few benefits to exploring this further, but I can understand why it's hard for you not to.

OP here, thanks, these are really helpful insights. Those are some great points about the timing and size. Our son was born pretty much exactly 9 months to the date of conception (so August 4, when election day night was November 4). He was also a relatively small/normal baby - 6 pounds, 9 ounces. I'm certain I'm just overreacting and that these FB pictures of my colleague (there, to the cohort snippets, lol) are just messing with my head. FWIW, my son also closely resembles my dad, eerily so, so I'm a big believer in genetics and how they can really influence the physical and facial characteristics of a person. Ok, I'll just put this whole subject to rest and won't pursue it any further, you've helped to talk me back from the ledge. Thanks again.

NP. And maybe think about defriending the possible biological father on Facebook. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At home pregnancy tests in 2004 were not sensitive enough to pick up a 2 week old pregnancy. They would have been sensitive to pick up a 3.5 week pregnancy. I'd let this rest on that fact and never speak of it.

If, by a two week old pregnacy, you mean two weeks after ovulation, then yes, they were. If by two week old pregnancy you mean two weeks past LMP, then you are correct.

[Anonymous]

Also in terms of prosecuting for rape, the statute of limitations has passed on that.

[Anonymous]

Delete this thread from your browser history before your husband finds it.