Signs that my boyfriend might be gay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is making you feel this way?

He has many gay friends.
He has little interest in sex, he's not enthusiastic about it, I am always prompting him during as well as initiating sex.
He sometimes has trouble keeping an erection.
He doesn't have the typical bachelor pad. It's super clean, decorated very nicely. He decorates seasonally.
He is a great cook.
He is very concerned about his appearance.

I'll take him as my boyfriend, gay or not.

+1

Perfect for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is making you feel this way?

He has many gay friends.
He has little interest in sex, he's not enthusiastic about it, I am always prompting him during as well as initiating sex.
He sometimes has trouble keeping an erection.
He doesn't have the typical bachelor pad. It's super clean, decorated very nicely. He decorates seasonally.
He is a great cook.
He is very concerned about his appearance.

I'll take him as my boyfriend, gay or not.

+1

Perfect for me.

Yep for a lot of women this will work. Most women are not really interested in sex and love the idea of DH without the hassle of sex. The problems happen when DH comes clean in 10-15 years...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:#2 and 3 will be very big issues if you marry him. Just look at the non-explicit relationships subforum and you will see. I dated someone who I realized later was bisexual. He lied to my face many times, because he so desperately wanted to escape the part of himself that terrified him. Personally, I would leave. As you have acknowledged, you wouldn't want to marry someone who isn't interested in you sexually.

This NYT essay may be interesting to you:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/10/style/modern-love-conversion-therapy-gay-husband-haircuts.html?_r=0

Beautiful essay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is making you feel this way?

1. He has many gay friends.
2. He has little interest in sex, he's not enthusiastic about it, I am always prompting him during as well as initiating sex.
3. He sometimes has trouble keeping an erection.
4. He doesn't have the typical bachelor pad. It's super clean, decorated very nicely. He decorates seasonally.
5. He is a great cook.
6. He is very concerned about his appearance.

#1 doesn't mean shit.
#2 makes me wonder about you as in why did you chose him for a boyfriend.
#3 doesn't mean shit
#4 doesn't mean shit
#5 doesn't mean shit
#6 doesn't mean shit.

So ultimately the only question to be answered is why are you with this guy?

But all put together? Sounds gay.

[Anonymous]

Gay or not, him not being interested in sex with you is a bad sign

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is making you feel this way?

1. He has many gay friends.
2. He has little interest in sex, he's not enthusiastic about it, I am always prompting him during as well as initiating sex.
3. He sometimes has trouble keeping an erection.
4. He doesn't have the typical bachelor pad. It's super clean, decorated very nicely. He decorates seasonally.
5. He is a great cook.
6. He is very concerned about his appearance.

#1 doesn't mean shit.
#2 makes me wonder about you as in why did you chose him for a boyfriend.
#3 doesn't mean shit
#4 doesn't mean shit
#5 doesn't mean shit
#6 doesn't mean shit.

So ultimately the only question to be answered is why are you with this guy?

But all put together? Sounds gay.

I have to agree. Separately, they mean nothing. But all of those together, plus your gut feeling, makes me lean towards him being gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gay or not, him not being interested in sex with you is a bad sign

Read the sexual relationship threads. The most common reason for relationships ending is one partner's disinterest in sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is making you feel this way?

1. He has many gay friends.
2. He has little interest in sex, he's not enthusiastic about it, I am always prompting him during as well as initiating sex.
3. He sometimes has trouble keeping an erection.
4. He doesn't have the typical bachelor pad. It's super clean, decorated very nicely. He decorates seasonally.
5. He is a great cook.
6. He is very concerned about his appearance.

#1 doesn't mean shit.
#2 makes me wonder about you as in why did you chose him for a boyfriend.
#3 doesn't mean shit
#4 doesn't mean shit
#5 doesn't mean shit
#6 doesn't mean shit.

So ultimately the only question to be answered is why are you with this guy?

But all put together? Sounds gay.

So how do I find out. He is not going to admit something like this and if he isn't then what an awk situation if I were to ask him! What can I do to find out, or narrow it down more?

[Anonymous]

You don't ask him if he's gay. You sit down and have a mature conversation about the differences in your sex drives. That's the real problem here.

Have a nice dinner together, a glass of wine, and then tell him your concerns about the lack of interest in sex. And then LISTEN. If this is someone you think you could potentially be with long-term, then this is just the first of many hard conversations you will have in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is making you feel this way?

1. He has many gay friends.
2. He has little interest in sex, he's not enthusiastic about it, I am always prompting him during as well as initiating sex.
3. He sometimes has trouble keeping an erection.
4. He doesn't have the typical bachelor pad. It's super clean, decorated very nicely. He decorates seasonally.
5. He is a great cook.
6. He is very concerned about his appearance.

#1 doesn't mean shit.
#2 makes me wonder about you as in why did you chose him for a boyfriend.
#3 doesn't mean shit
#4 doesn't mean shit
#5 doesn't mean shit
#6 doesn't mean shit.

So ultimately the only question to be answered is why are you with this guy?

I love being with him. I just have a feeling in the back of my head I can't shake. I would like to shake it. I can see myself being with him for a long time. But I don't want to end up as one of the women on these other threads that found out their husband was gay after 15 or 20 years of marriage.

Go with your gut. 2 and 3 are extremely bad signs.

[Anonymous]

Get out now! Not because you think he might be gay but I am assuming he is in his 20s and can't keep an erection. That is a huge red flag--it is him, not you! Go out and find a nice guy with whom you can have a great sex life!

[Anonymous]

I've never come across or heard any of my friends complain about a man they've been with not able to get an erection when there is a willing girl right there. Gay or not doesn't matter. Maybe he's just not into sex, but if it's a problem for you then talk to him. It 10 years after a few kids you might be very grateful for that characteristic.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's 2017. There's no external reason for a gay man to be in the closet. So is there anything in his upbringing or his attitudes that would make it difficult for him to be out, or to acknowledge his sexuality?

[Anonymous]

Decorations and caring about appearence being gay traits? Sorry I have to say it's bullshit, especially the one saying no straight man do this. It means generalizing a maybe very local country "straight men club" culture, more than a real gay man trait, which is, well, not liking sex with women and preferring men .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is making you feel this way?

1. He has many gay friends.
2. He has little interest in sex, he's not enthusiastic about it, I am always prompting him during as well as initiating sex.
3. He sometimes has trouble keeping an erection.
4. He doesn't have the typical bachelor pad. It's super clean, decorated very nicely. He decorates seasonally.
5. He is a great cook.
6. He is very concerned about his appearance.

#1 doesn't mean shit.
#2 makes me wonder about you as in why did you chose him for a boyfriend.
#3 doesn't mean shit
#4 doesn't mean shit
#5 doesn't mean shit
#6 doesn't mean shit.

So ultimately the only question to be answered is why are you with this guy?

Thou doth protest too much. Most of things are characteristics disproportionately found in gay men. Especially the decorating seasonally thing. Straight men don't do that -- they have women in their lives to do it for them.

My DH, father of 2, married for 20 years loves to decorate seasonally. He decorates the dining room table with little tchotchkes related to the season: leaves in the fall, wildflowers in spring, etc. It's cute. That's the only decorating he is interested in, though.