If you show up at a date and are IMMEDIATELY not feeling it

[Anonymous]

This is why I always did coffee or a drink for a first date. If there was no spark or interest, we'd have a nice conversation for one hour. It was one inexpensive and pleasant hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:duh, this is why a first date should also be something quick like meeting up for a drink or a cup of coffee

+1

This has the added bonus of ambiguity. Ask someone at work out to coffee or lunch and you can post hoc classify it as totally platonic if it doesn't amount to anything.


Be warned that there are some divas out there who would be put off by something that casual -- but this isn't usually an issue for professional types.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but I would still bail. Going on a date with someone you know will result in nothing is also a waste of time and rude.

Just because you know that you aren't going to date the person doesn't mean that it isn't worthwhile to spend a meal and chitchat. Be polite, talk about local news, local events, whatever you had planned to talk about when you thought there was the potential for a connection. Finish the meal, then say something pleasant about meeting them and go on your way. Sharing a friendly meal with someone is not a waste of time. It's sad that people only feel that spending time with another person is worth their while if there is a future relationship.

Totally, because that is direct and doesn't send mixed signals at all. I think what you've described is a huge waste of time for both parties involved.

[Anonymous]

Unless you feel your safety is at risk, it is rude to bail. And immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but I would still bail. Going on a date with someone you know will result in nothing is also a waste of time and rude.

Just because you know that you aren't going to date the person doesn't mean that it isn't worthwhile to spend a meal and chitchat. Be polite, talk about local news, local events, whatever you had planned to talk about when you thought there was the potential for a connection. Finish the meal, then say something pleasant about meeting them and go on your way. Sharing a friendly meal with someone is not a waste of time. It's sad that people only feel that spending time with another person is worth their while if there is a future relationship.

Totally, because that is direct and doesn't send mixed signals at all. I think what you've described is a huge waste of time for both parties involved.

Guys, don't waste this woman's precious time!

[Anonymous]

Meet for coffee

[Anonymous]

I had a good friend who walked into a date from Match and thought "eh, this isn't going to work". Sat down to have drinks anyhow. Got married 18 months later and now have two kids. They are perfect together. It's a very good thing she didn't bail just because her initial reaction was "meh". He was charming and wonderful and that couldn't be seen from a first glance up and down.

[Anonymous]

Never bail-how rude!! Everyone has something to contribute. But, I agree with the always go for a drinks date first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...is it rude to just leave? I don't want to have to sit there for two hours feeling awkward, and in a way I feel like the other person wouldn't want their time wasted either.

He probably felt the same way about you but was also being polite. Best thing to do is grin and bear it and hope to find something interesting to discuss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I always did coffee or a drink for a first date. If there was no spark or interest, we'd have a nice conversation for one hour. It was one inexpensive and pleasant hour.

+1

An hour of getting to know someone is not a huge waste of time; it's giving everyone a fair shake. Unless they showed up wearing a wedding ring or spouting racist conspiracy theories, I think you probably give it a try.

[Anonymous]

Why are people meeting for dinner on a first date. This is exactly why you go for drinks or coffee. Much easier to sit through one drink and leave if you're not feeling it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just try to enjoy the meal and think of it as a platonic situation. Always just be kind and treat them how you would want to be- you never know what will happen in the future

Yes. It's common courtesy, plus he might have a cute friend

[Anonymous]

That would be so mean to leave right after you sit down. I'm married, I would've been crushed if someone had done that to me when I was single.

[Anonymous]

If you just walked in and didn't like him because of the way he looked, then yes it's rude. If you sat down, had a chance to exchange a few sentences and the guy is being obnoxious and rude, then no, I'd leave.

I was in this situation once. I showed up, the guy was obviously in a bad mood. I didn't want to be rude and just leave, so I sat through a very uncomfortable dinner. Even the waitress noticed how tense the situation was. We ended up just scarfing the food down, and running out the door.

[Anonymous]

Well if the guy really gives you the creeps right away, then yes you should leave.
You know, sometimes you just know.....

But if he seems like a decent & friendly sort, it wouldn't hurt to stay a little + possibly have some good conversation w/him.

Who knows??
You may just make yourself a new friend or possibly he could be a potential match for someone you know!