At what point can DS 11 chose not to go to his Dad's house every other weekend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this is OP. I'm not sure what the bar is, legally, for abuse and neglect but I've started documenting ex's behavior that in my mind constitutes both. Examples: constant yelling, telling him he is a piece of shit to shut up, constant berating, forcefully yanking him out of bed,drinking to much and going to bed, while they stay up until 3 am, coming up with some reason that DS has misbehaved so he can't go to lunch/dinner, so DS doesn't eat bc there is limited food at his dad's...

Ex pays no child support, per our divorce agreement ( I make 3x what he does).

Ok, some of the other posters in this thread are completely nuts and are clearly projecting their own issues onto OP. It does not sound like OP is "poisoning" her son against her ex. This behavior sounds abusive, especially not allowing DS to eat. Document, document, document, and pay for a consult with a lawyer as one of the pps suggested.

[Anonymous]

Call your lawyer. Now.

[Anonymous]

I would not want my kid going somewhere where he is being called a piece of shit....and being punished by not given food.
I would seriously get a lawyer and get the agreement changed if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why isn't emotional abuse sufficient? How ridiculous. I am so sorry, OP.

Because it is hard to prove. Anyone can claim emotional abuse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not want my kid going somewhere where he is being called a piece of shit....and being punished by not given food.
I would seriously get a lawyer and get the agreement changed if possible.

IMO the no food is abuse. At least neglect.

[Anonymous]

My child gets around this vey cleverly. She never says she refuses to go or that she's mad at her dad. Instead she makes other plans - homework, school events, a job, plans to see friends, etc. At most she sees him for a meal on the weekend. It allows him to keep face and pretend everything is OK between them. He is happy to be relieved of the tasks of negotiating the conflict between his new wife and his child, happy to be relieved if any non-fun parenting like carpools or homework, etc. She gets what she wants without a scene.

Is your ex really attached to seeing your son, or would he be just as happy to be relieved of the chore if it could be done in a way that he does mot look like a bad dad before the world?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why isn't emotional abuse sufficient? How ridiculous. I am so sorry, OP.

Because it is hard to prove. Anyone can claim emotional abuse

My DD (intact family) acts like we emotionally abuse her when we make her come up at 9pm on a school night (and no more watching Monster Fish.)

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to work this out with your attorney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:18, you would have to prove abuse or neglect to stop visitation. Maybe he knows you don't support it and he's trying to please you. Maybe you can stop child support if he agrees to stop visits.

Not true at all. Do you think you are going to have to wrestle a 16 year old into the car for visitation?

NP here. I was just thinking that i would have a tough time even carrying my 10 year old somewhere they truly didn't want to be.

[Anonymous]

In my state (not the DC area), at age 12-13 (judges have discretion) the kids' opinions carry weight.