What should my LO call my mother's husband given her marriage track record?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Steve. I feel like they are usually named Steve

I think I'm going to try this. That's not his name, but we'll just start calling him Steve.

[Anonymous]

I don't think Mr. FirstName is rude, and would likely pick that; but since you do, I'd go with Grandpa FirstName. It is common among many grandparents, so it won't be unusual or offensive, and it will be easy to keep up that trend if she keeps getting remarried.

IMO, rude would be GrandpaSix

[Anonymous]

I would go with Grandpa Steve.

Both my parents are remarried-- but once each, and long term. But, I learned that what kids understand at 3 vs 6 vs 9 is different, and you gotta take it as it comes. A three year old has a Grandma and. Grandpa. A 6-7 year old notices the have three sets, and when they ask, they get a simple X and Y were married a long time ago and got a divorce. My 14 year old asked and now knows that he only really interacts with one set of my parents because the other set was non-custodial/not that stable (phrased more as after my parents got divorced, my mother raised me, so I am closer to her).

But your real issue is with the three year old getting attached to a grandparents figure who might leave. And that is going to happen (or not) no matter what you call him. It sucks, but the best you can do. Distinguishing him as temporary by just using the first name will just cause hurt feeling (his and your moms) and might confuse your kid, but isn't going to keep your kid from getting attached.

I'd just ask what he wants to be called.

[Anonymous]

First name is fine. When she gets older and if he is still around, she might want to add grandpa. Her choice.

[Anonymous]

OP again. If this was a boyfriend/partner of a parent, would advice be different? Just curious.

LO is so lucky - already has a Grandma Bob, Grandma Sue, a Grandpa Rich and a Grandma Mary. (Not their real names at all, but you get the idea.)

[Anonymous]

What would you have your child call a close family friend that was of the same generation as your parents? E.g. the parents of your childhood friend, or a very close grandparent of one of their own friends? Mr. Jones seems way to formal for that situation to me, and my kid would call that person Mr. Steve -- but I'd use that as a guideline.

[Anonymous]

It's not this guy's fault that you think he'll be "temporary" in your child's life. There are a million nicknames for a grandfather. Give him one so that when your mother kicks him to the curb he'll remember that at least someone loved him enough to include him in your family.

[Anonymous]

My grandma had three long-term boyfriends after her husband died when my mom was young (sadly due to deaths, so not the same situation as yours). Adults always referred to them by their first names, kids would call them "grandpa first name"

[Anonymous]

I'd go with Mr. Steve.

[Anonymous]

I have a similar situation with my Mom, and we've always used "Mr First Name"... it's worked out fine

[Anonymous]

Agreeing with Mr. Steve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think Mr. FirstName is rude, and would likely pick that; but since you do, I'd go with Grandpa FirstName. It is common among many grandparents, so it won't be unusual or offensive, and it will be easy to keep up that trend if she keeps getting remarried.

IMO, rude would be GrandpaSix

[Anonymous]

Just call him "Dude."

[Anonymous]

My kids call my mom's boyfriend Bob. Not married but together17 years, not married, he is ok but not their grandfather. There was a moment when one of my kids tried out grandbob" briefly which was cute but the affection just is not there so it didnt stick. Bob it is.

[Anonymous]

First world problems, OP. (not meant to be rude or dismissive, just a joke)

We called every elderly woman and man in our neighborhood the equivalent of Grandma/pa "First Name" growing up. What more of grandma's actual husband?