Can't stop texting my ex

[Anonymous]

I get you. My wife cheat d and we divorced and for way too long I did the same thing. It gets better. But takes a huge amount NOT of time. Therapy and SSRIs don't always work. Just get through each day.

[Anonymous]

I meant huge amount of time. Don't know why the all caps NOT showed up.

[Anonymous]

Therapy, op. You need another way to work out these feelings. I get what you're feeling, I really do. But you're just using this as a way to extend the relationship instead of accepting that it's over and moving in to the next chapter in your life. See if a therapist can help you work through this.

[Anonymous]

My ex was really awful to me (and time to process after he left made me realize how really awful he was, when I was in it I was so busy covering for him that I was blind to it). But I used a therapist and a journal to vent all those feelings. I know I will never get a satisfactory apology from him and going around in circles with him won't make me feel better and will just continue my spiral of anger and sadness.
Looking back now, I'm glad I took the higher road. Honestly, my ex would have secretly thrived on the attention (he loves drama and would have loved knowing I was still hung up on him) and I would have looked pathetic. But cutting him out completely really helped me heal.

You need the space. Give that gift to yourself. It's not about him, it's about you. You will feel better and stronger once he's out of your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then what advice do you want? You either block him or continue your insane behavior. Get a therapist.

I want some compassion and empathy. I know what I'm doing isn't good or normal but if anyone can relate I'd like to hear from them.

Op, I can relate. I am in a situation that is kind of similar. Six months after the break up we were at a point where we were "friends." So we could actually have nice "check in" conversations. Then he started telling me how much he missed me and still loved me. I fell for it. We never saw each other but kept texting/calling. Then he just disappeared on me for about a week. No calls/texts. When he eventually called we talked, thought things were ok. Nope. He disappeared again. Anyway, I sent some really nasty texts and left a few messages. What has helped me stop is 1. I bought a notebook and when I feel compelled to tell him off or how I feel I write it down. 2. I deleted his number out of my phone. I wrote it down, so I have it but its not at my finger tips anymore. 3. If I am having a glass of wine at home (this is usually when I get twisted about him) I put my phone in my bedroom and just get into a movie or a book for distraction. Talk to a friend you trust and tell them what you are doing. I also sometimes call a friend and talk it out with them and they usually make me feel better.

Honestly OP, the best way to get over someone is to find someone else. You don't have to get serious, just maybe date a little and you will be thinking about the new people in your life instead of the loser that is making you upset. Good luck. I struggle everyday because my ex actually owes me money. A very small amount but it infuriates me when I remember and thats usually what puts me in a tailspin to tell him what an a$$hole he is. But its been almost 2 weeks and I haven't called or texted. Baby steps. Even though I think about him every day.

[Anonymous]

When you think about texting him, hit a pillow instead.

[Anonymous]

OP you need to channel that hostility into something else. New gym class, cooking/baking, coloring, paint your kitchen, clean out a closet, walk a friends dog, write in a journal, anything as a distraction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then what advice do you want? You either block him or continue your insane behavior. Get a therapist.

I want some compassion and empathy. I know what I'm doing isn't good or normal but if anyone can relate I'd like to hear from them.

You're doing the right thing OP.
By all means share all your borderline sociopathic tendencies with us as opposed to relaying that info to your next boyfriend which will subsequently scare the living shit out of him.
Do what you gotta do to get all this out and when you've expressed it to the Nth degree and can't express it anymore let it go for good.

[Anonymous]

OP-whatever you do don't look on his social media!

[Anonymous]

OP, nothing that he says will make it better. Please stop expecting it. Instead block his number so you are not tempted to contact him again and work on healing yourself. Start a hobby, go for a run, anything. Notice I didn't say go on a date. You aren't ready for that. You'll just take it out on the next guy for the things your ex did. Understand that he will never say what you want him to say and stop trying.

[Anonymous]

I think it might be a good idea for him to block you, and you to block him. There is literally no reason why you two need to be in contact. None. Write letters laying out all the things that you need closure about. Don't send, but put them away somewhere for a year. After a year, if you want to send them, send them. But I'm hoping that by then, you'll have moved on.

You'll never get the closure you want, though, from him. There is probably no "right" answer he could give you to make you feel better, because I suspect what you unconsciously want is for him to come back and say he's changed and will do whatever it takes to get you back. And that doesn't sound like it would be healthy.

Also, you may need to find a hobby or an interest, or at least a daily exercise routine - something to take your attention in a healthier direction.

[Anonymous]

Instead of being the ex, he may remember you as the crazy ex. Stop with the texting. You must know how bad this makes you look. Best way to move on is to stop communication.

[Anonymous]

You really need therapy to work through your issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then what advice do you want? You either block him or continue your insane behavior. Get a therapist.

I want some compassion and empathy. I know what I'm doing isn't good or normal but if anyone can relate I'd like to hear from them.

Op, I can relate. I am in a situation that is kind of similar. Six months after the break up we were at a point where we were "friends." So we could actually have nice "check in" conversations. Then he started telling me how much he missed me and still loved me. I fell for it. We never saw each other but kept texting/calling. Then he just disappeared on me for about a week. No calls/texts. When he eventually called we talked, thought things were ok. Nope. He disappeared again. Anyway, I sent some really nasty texts and left a few messages. What has helped me stop is 1. I bought a notebook and when I feel compelled to tell him off or how I feel I write it down. 2. I deleted his number out of my phone. I wrote it down, so I have it but its not at my finger tips anymore. 3. If I am having a glass of wine at home (this is usually when I get twisted about him) I put my phone in my bedroom and just get into a movie or a book for distraction. Talk to a friend you trust and tell them what you are doing. I also sometimes call a friend and talk it out with them and they usually make me feel better.

Honestly OP, the best way to get over someone is to find someone else. You don't have to get serious, just maybe date a little and you will be thinking about the new people in your life instead of the loser that is making you upset. Good luck. I struggle everyday because my ex actually owes me money. A very small amount but it infuriates me when I remember and thats usually what puts me in a tailspin to tell him what an a$$hole he is. But its been almost 2 weeks and I haven't called or texted. Baby steps. Even though I think about him every day.

Best advice.

[Anonymous]

Knock that shit off before you get served with a restraining order. You'll mess up the rest of your life with that, although I'm sure your insanity hasn't been limited to this one man.