What's up with teen girls these days?

[Anonymous]

Being medicated for ADHD - depression & anxiety are the side affects. That, and mentioned social life online as opposed to more genuine real relationships.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I have talked about this a lot but we are older - almost 50. We have two teens and the difference in how we were raised and how we are raising ours is huge. Some of it we are happy about but some we are not. Our neighborhood, kids peer group, schools have influence for good and bad.

One difference is that We spend so much time with our kids! Not complaining only sharing an observation. It is the expectation and the environment so with all this time together we see/ hear more ( or they tell us more?)

When we were kids we were in the neighborhood/ community with friends, no way to contact parents during the day from school! Now, The slightest thing and I get a text from a DC.

Only Hall phones and weekly letters when I started college so a lot of things we had to figure out on our own or with the help of our peers. Made mistakes and really dumb decisions a few times but I want to believe it allowed for growth and resilience?

I don't know but I see this dependence on parents and level of anxiety extremely high in my community. I know one can argue that there was a lot our parents did not know and that was not good either but there needs to be balance.

I'm not innocent as have fallen in to over - parenting at times. A lot has to do with the community. You feel your DC can do, see, plan, account for something but no other friend is " allowed" so you eventually just go along with the norm.

All this rambling to say I think maybe one theory is we spend too much time with our kids?

[Anonymous]

This certainly was the case in the 80's when I was in high school. The difference between then and now is thAt it is less taboo to talk about it now than it was then and help is now more readily available and socially acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Mental illness is in, didn't you hear? High school girls are diagnosing themselves, and want to get tests these days, as so many of their friends have something wrong... it is a fad and peer following. Not all are truly having issues, plus what qualifies as anxiety today used to be considered part of growing up and even needed to do well in school. If you are smart you worry about how you will do on a test, with peers, but it rarely is clinical anxiety, yet parents and kids buy into this today.

[Anonymous]

I think social media combined with helicopter/bulldozer parenting is a huge problem.

[Anonymous]

I went to school in Fairfax County, graduated in the late 80's. There were plenty of mental health problems, eating disorders, cutting, anxiety, suicides, life is hard for kids here. Perfection is unattainable but everyone acts like it's a reasonable goal.

[Anonymous]

Pressure cooker environment (this area or others with high pressure schools) plus social media. I went to a private school in the 80s where success was really pushed and had several friends commit suicide in the 10 year after we graduated. Think social media makes it worse, but it really boils down to pressure from parents and peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mental illness is in, didn't you hear? High school girls are diagnosing themselves, and want to get tests these days, as so many of their friends have something wrong... it is a fad and peer following. Not all are truly having issues, plus what qualifies as anxiety today used to be considered part of growing up and even needed to do well in school. If you are smart you worry about how you will do on a test, with peers, but it rarely is clinical anxiety, yet parents and kids buy into this today.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I have talked about this a lot but we are older - almost 50. We have two teens and the difference in how we were raised and how we are raising ours is huge. Some of it we are happy about but some we are not. Our neighborhood, kids peer group, schools have influence for good and bad.

One difference is that We spend so much time with our kids! Not complaining only sharing an observation. It is the expectation and the environment so with all this time together we see/ hear more ( or they tell us more?)

When we were kids we were in the neighborhood/ community with friends, no way to contact parents during the day from school! Now, The slightest thing and I get a text from a DC.

Only Hall phones and weekly letters when I started college so a lot of things we had to figure out on our own or with the help of our peers. Made mistakes and really dumb decisions a few times but I want to believe it allowed for growth and resilience?

I don't know but I see this dependence on parents and level of anxiety extremely high in my community. I know one can argue that there was a lot our parents did not know and that was not good either but there needs to be balance.

I'm not innocent as have fallen in to over - parenting at times. A lot has to do with the community. You feel your DC can do, see, plan, account for something but no other friend is " allowed" so you eventually just go along with the norm.

All this rambling to say I think maybe one theory is we spend too much time with our kids?

The lack of coping skills because parents do everything for them is most certainly a contributor to the increase. The younger generation struggles to make decisions because it has always been done for them. When they are presented with problems of course they will feel overly anxious.

[Anonymous]

We have a family history of anxiety and depression, with some ADHD and bipolar disorder thrown in for good measure. My kids came by it honestly. DDs are following in my footsteps with anxiety but seeking help earlier than I did, mostly because I dealt with it and recognized the signs. It's easier to get help nowadays too, at least compared to the rural setting where I grew up.

Also, I would rather have died than share with my peers about anxiety and depression I suffered from, and even though I had a few friends also seeking treatment, I think our moms felt uncomfortable sharing their/our experiences. I'm not sure if it was from shame, embarrassment, or just respecting our privacy. So even though it was happening, we didn't really know how common it was.

[Anonymous]

The pressure to look perfectly beautiful seems stronger than ever now. Also, widespread use of porn has really altered the sexual dynamic among teens and put a lot more pressure on teen girls. Social media, also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's school in this area and generation. We had nowhere near the workload and pressure.

I'm 38 & was often up to 3 or 4 am doing school work in high school (& not because I procrastinated). Multiple classmates either had nervous break downs or came close because of stress and lack of sleep I think this kind of thing was stil relatively rare back then , though. Unfortunately, it seems to have become more prevalent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, OP. There has always been teenage angst and people have always had difficulties, but it seems to be more pervasive these days. I tend to attribute it to the social media obsession and 24/7 contact with media and everyone. Kids don't have any down time, are always scrutinized and feel the pressure to always be "on". Add to that the constant pressure to do well in school, get into a great college, be smart, be pretty, be funny, be "trendy". It's all too much for a teenager to deal with...I hate social media...

+1. Totally agree. There has got to be serious pushback on use of social media. More and more evidence of his destructive it is for young people.

+2
I was just saying to a friend the other day that I would be thrilled if social media just disappeared one day. Poof. Our kids would be so much healthier for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, OP. There has always been teenage angst and people have always had difficulties, but it seems to be more pervasive these days. I tend to attribute it to the social media obsession and 24/7 contact with media and everyone. Kids don't have any down time, are always scrutinized and feel the pressure to always be "on". Add to that the constant pressure to do well in school, get into a great college, be smart, be pretty, be funny, be "trendy". It's all too much for a teenager to deal with...I hate social media...

+1. Totally agree. There has got to be serious pushback on use of social media. More and more evidence of his destructive it is for young people.

+2
I was just saying to a friend the other day that I would be thrilled if social media just disappeared one day. Poof. Our kids would be so much healthier for it.

Or you can limit their use of it.

[Anonymous]

My own experience was that I self-medicated with alcohol and weed. In my DD's world I see a lot of "good girls" who do everything they are "supposed" to do, including staying away from booze and pot...and they also barely socialize outside of school, except on their phones. AND the academic demands are greater. AND parents do seem more willing to get their kids help for anxiety and depression and to talk about it.