ILs want to change Thanksgiving plans 4 days prior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't cancel all your plans. Have DH tell his family you will see them for Christmas.

OP here. This is what I am telling him to do. I also told DH to tell his brother to go home to MA for Thanksgiving.

Glad you put your foot down on this, OP.

[Anonymous]

Admit it, you don't like these in laws and you don't want to make any effort to see them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't see the problem. Just get more food and figure out how to fit more people at the tables. Let them figure out what hotel they'll stay in, if they're coming from out of town. I think of Thanksgiving as an inclusive, welcoming holiday. The more the merrier.

I love it when sanctimonious posters can't read. OP and her DH are already locked into plans with another family!

Heh. Thanks, all of you who scolded me and called me names for misreading a key sentence. You're full of Thanksgiving spirit, not at all like jackals on a nearsighted old antelope that misjudges her distance from the herd.

If they were going to friends', of course her husband shouldn't try and change plans. I agree with you all. Now kindly let my bones bleach in the sun.

[Anonymous]

Keep you plans and be calm and nice. Boundaries are a problem here - and they are best put in place calmly and firmly. Unfortunately, your boundary problem is with your DH mainly. "Honey, I am so sorry I yelled at you. I'm frustrated that I already made plans and you suggested changing them at the last minute. I should not have yelled at you. Having said that, let's keep our plans. We can keep our Chirstmas plans with your family and do something different next year. Kthanks." And hold firm. Everyone will learn quickly that you now mean business. And always stay calm through new boundaries. They'll love the new calm cool you that they can absolutely count on!!! BTDT

[Anonymous]

How long have you been married, OP? DH would never make plans without checking with me. (This also means he never initiates date night, but that's another thread.)

He learned this about 5 years into marriage. If you are past that many years of wedded bliss, it's time to state this explicitly to your DH. Never make plans without prior discussion - works both ways.

[Anonymous]

ILs are rude if they wait until the last minute to make plans. Mine still have not said what the plans are but I'm sure we'll have to go along with whatever they are. Stick with your original plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't see the problem. Just get more food and figure out how to fit more people at the tables. Let them figure out what hotel they'll stay in, if they're coming from out of town. I think of Thanksgiving as an inclusive, welcoming holiday. The more the merrier.

OP said that they are going to a friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner so there is a problem. Read more carefully or don't post.

Ditto. Totally stupid and unhelpful post. But she did get to remind everyone on DCUM how magnanimous she is.

[Anonymous]

You have to go to your friends' house. They've already started planning. I would so pissed if I bought a big turkey and then people didn't show up.

[Anonymous]

Keep your plans. Tell your husband to tell his mother than you already made other plans that you cannot cancel, but she is welcome to come the weekend after Thanksgiving to see her grandkids.

The point is that he needs to convey that you can't always make last minute plans and have them come together and that she can't just automatically get what she wants.

[Anonymous]

Nothing like the Thanksgiving drama on DCUM LOL

OP, this sucks. Whip DH in shape and make him fix it.

[Anonymous]

http://www.arcamax.com/newspics/149/14902/1490255.gif

[Anonymous]

I agree with others - cancelling on your friends at the last minute is so rude. You have to go. Have your IL and BIL come visit another day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't see the problem. Just get more food and figure out how to fit more people at the tables. Let them figure out what hotel they'll stay in, if they're coming from out of town. I think of Thanksgiving as an inclusive, welcoming holiday. The more the merrier.

I love it when sanctimonious posters can't read. OP and her DH are already locked into plans with another family!

Heh. Thanks, all of you who scolded me and called me names for misreading a key sentence. You're full of Thanksgiving spirit, not at all like jackals on a nearsighted old antelope that misjudges her distance from the herd.

If they were going to friends', of course her husband shouldn't try and change plans. I agree with you all. Now kindly let my bones bleach in the sun.

OP, you have perfectly described my work meetings! The vicious beasts use jargon and condescension to tear apart their prey. I just try not to be the antelope!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Admit it, you don't like these in laws and you don't want to make any effort to see them.

What does that have to do with anything?

The fact remains that it is days before Thanksgiving, and they already have plans that would be rude to cancel.