Pretty sure sister in law's grandchildren are drug dealers. How to keep them out of my house.

[Anonymous]

If they're arrested in her house with drugs op could lose her house to govt forfeiture. Not to mention the other more obvious risks like violence, drugs being left out, etc. plus maybe she just doesn't want to socialize with drug users/dealers.

Cool story, bro!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like they're going to be dealing while at your house. They don't have any suppliers or clients in your area. If they travel with guns, have them leave the guns in their car. From what you've written, your way over-reacting.

Something is seriously wrong with you.

No...I think you and some of these other posters are just looking for something to get riled up over. OP does not KNOW they are drug dealers. How would you even know? Do you know any drug dealers? Bought drugs from any of them? There's a big difference between some pot head grand kids and gun-toting drug dealers. If they're the latter they prob don't even want to come over anyway. Please breathe and unclench.

Actually, the only riled up poster here is you. This clearly hits a little too close to home for you.

[Anonymous]

OP - I think you need a lot more info than "I think" before you can even remotely confront the situation. Has she ever said anything to you about troubles. If so, you could use that to back up your wishes. If not, then you are merely being gossipy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

PP--your address so OP can the drug dealing guests to stay at your house. Problem solved.

You're probably someone who monitors the registered sex offenders database for sex offenders in her neighborhood. Or, is someone shocked (SHOCKED!) when you learned someone with whom you are acquainted discloses a drug/alcohol problem. You are oblivious that we are surrounded at all times by people who have hidden their negative behaviors and think you can isolate your family from them. What an epic fail.

OP says her SIL raised these kids which makes them more like her children than grandchildren. Thus, they're OP's nieces and nephews. Had OP stated that they have a history of coming to family events incapacitated, using drugs in her home, offensive or combative, I'd be very supportive of her efforts to ban them from her home. I'd support her if her SIL has related experiences of them stealing to support a drug habit. But, again, that's not what she posted. What indication is there that these 'kids' will behave outside the boundaries of what's acceptable?

The gun issue is just ridiculous. We don't own guns and I'm solidly in support of research to reduce firearm incidents. But, gun ownership doesn't make someone a threat. If OP doesn't want guns in her house, she's entitled to issue that edict. But to ban someone from the house because she suspects them of being drug dealers and because they own guns is ridiculous. Is she really expecting a rival drug dealer to ambush her house while her niece/nephew are in there? DCUM posters don't typically live in those kinds of neighborhoods.

OMG. Are you really this much of an enabling loser? Are your kids gun-toting drug dealers too so you need a reason to excuse, justify and pretend not a problem? No wonder our city is going to shit.

[Anonymous]

OMG. Are you really this much of an enabling loser? Are your kids gun-toting drug dealers too so you need a reason to excuse, justify and pretend not a problem? No wonder our city is going to shit.v

Do you overreact in other parts of your life? Do you always read into situations? Do you have a habit of making relationship-ruining decisions without the facts? This is what we know:

1. OP suspects her nieces/nephews deal drugs
2. They own guns

What we don't know:
1. Are they taking drugs and what kind?
2. Are the drugs legal or not legal?
3. If they use drugs, what, if any, negative behaviors does their drug use cause?
4. If they use drugs and have negative behaviors, will those behaviors be present at OP's house?
5. If they deal drugs, what kind, how much and how often/
6. if they deal drugs, how likely is it clients will follow them to OP's house?
7. If they deal drug, how likely is their supplier/angry rival will show up at OP's house?
8. If they travel with their guns, would they not leave them in the car if asked?

Clearly, you live in a bubble and work really hard to preserve it. You are oblivious to how many people around you use drugs/alcohol or have substance abuse issues. The vast majority of users are no danger to anyone but themselves. I'm not condoning illegal drug use or dealers (full disclosure, I smoked some pot in college) but I am able to determine threats and develop a measured and balanced response. No where in OP's post did she describe behaviors that are concerning. Like you, she is a reactionary. Or, as I'm starting to suspect, OP is a troll since she's not been back to provide additional information. If so, she did a good job because she sure has gotten people like you riled up.

[Anonymous]

I'm not even the poster you're responding. You keep pointing fingers at other people being upset, but you're the one who is upset.

How on earth would one possibly get an answer to the more detailed questions you're asking? Why does it matter?

My sister is a severe user, and I couldn't possibly begin to get the answers to all the questions you've listed out. However, that's not to say I don't have enough information to make a decision about protecting myself and my home. In fact, I believe I have a responsibility to protect myself, my family and my home.

I'm sure you're going to keep answering this thread, because you just won't shut the hell up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like they're going to be dealing while at your house. They don't have any suppliers or clients in your area. If they travel with guns, have them leave the guns in their car. From what you've written, your way over-reacting.

I think it's a big deal. I wouldn't want this in my house either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not even the poster you're responding. You keep pointing fingers at other people being upset, but you're the one who is upset.

How on earth would one possibly get an answer to the more detailed questions you're asking? Why does it matter?

My sister is a severe user, and I couldn't possibly begin to get the answers to all the questions you've listed out. However, that's not to say I don't have enough information to make a decision about protecting myself and my home. In fact, I believe I have a responsibility to protect myself, my family and my home.

I'm sure you're going to keep answering this thread, because you just won't shut the hell up.

Not the PP you're responding to but she doesn't sound upset to me, just the opposite. You don't need answers to all the questions she posted, I think it was just to emphasize how very little is known. The biggest question is what negative behaviors does suspected drug use bring out?

I have a number of people in my immediate and extended families that used to use/do use drugs. I have even more that use alcohol. I'm sure a few of them have sold drugs. By far, the most problematic family members are those that use alcohol. I would never ban a family member just because I suspected them of dealing or using drugs. I would ban them because of how they treat people. What they do in the privacy of their own homes isn't my business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like they're going to be dealing while at your house. They don't have any suppliers or clients in your area. If they travel with guns, have them leave the guns in their car. From what you've written, your way over-reacting.

I think it's a big deal. I wouldn't want this in my house either.

You wouldn't want what exactly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not even the poster you're responding. You keep pointing fingers at other people being upset, but you're the one who is upset.

How on earth would one possibly get an answer to the more detailed questions you're asking? Why does it matter?

My sister is a severe user, and I couldn't possibly begin to get the answers to all the questions you've listed out. However, that's not to say I don't have enough information to make a decision about protecting myself and my home. In fact, I believe I have a responsibility to protect myself, my family and my home.

I'm sure you're going to keep answering this thread, because you just won't shut the hell up.

Not the PP you're responding to but she doesn't sound upset to me, just the opposite. You don't need answers to all the questions she posted, I think it was just to emphasize how very little is known. The biggest question is what negative behaviors does suspected drug use bring out?

I have a number of people in my immediate and extended families that used to use/do use drugs. I have even more that use alcohol. I'm sure a few of them have sold drugs. By far, the most problematic family members are those that use alcohol. I would never ban a family member just because I suspected them of dealing or using drugs. I would ban them because of how they treat people. What they do in the privacy of their own homes isn't my business.

Yes, I agree exactly. There is very little known, but where you and I differ is that I err on the side of caution and exclusion when it comes it situations like this (personal experience with sister and multiple off the rail relatives). That's fine. We can agree to disagree.

I absolutely agree that a user can be either problematic or not problematic in different kinds of social situations, however, where you and I differ is that I have no desire to use time at my home as time to kick the tires on someone with whom I'm uncomfortable. Before setting boundaries, I had far too many family get together that ended with the cops showing up and seeing weapons pulled off of people. We're all a product of our own experiences.

[Anonymous]

I don't tort people into my house that I don't trust. Plain and simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like they're going to be dealing while at your house. They don't have any suppliers or clients in your area. If they travel with guns, have them leave the guns in their car. From what you've written, your way over-reacting.

I think it's a big deal. I wouldn't want this in my house either.

You wouldn't want what exactly?

Drug dealers. With or without guns. Not rocket surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

PP--your address so OP can the drug dealing guests to stay at your house. Problem solved.

You're probably someone who monitors the registered sex offenders database for sex offenders in her neighborhood. Or, is someone shocked (SHOCKED!) when you learned someone with whom you are acquainted discloses a drug/alcohol problem. You are oblivious that we are surrounded at all times by people who have hidden their negative behaviors and think you can isolate your family from them. What an epic fail.

OP says her SIL raised these kids which makes them more like her children than grandchildren. Thus, they're OP's nieces and nephews. Had OP stated that they have a history of coming to family events incapacitated, using drugs in her home, offensive or combative, I'd be very supportive of her efforts to ban them from her home. I'd support her if her SIL has related experiences of them stealing to support a drug habit. But, again, that's not what she posted. What indication is there that these 'kids' will behave outside the boundaries of what's acceptable?

The gun issue is just ridiculous. We don't own guns and I'm solidly in support of research to reduce firearm incidents. But, gun ownership doesn't make someone a threat. If OP doesn't want guns in her house, she's entitled to issue that edict. But to ban someone from the house because she suspects them of being drug dealers and because they own guns is ridiculous. Is she really expecting a rival drug dealer to ambush her house while her niece/nephew are in there? DCUM posters don't typically live in those kinds of neighborhoods.

I'm pretty sure most people are not surrounded by drug dealers