Poor near family, or afford life far away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since your family members do the bulk of your childcare, how much would you have to pay out in childcare expenses if you had to move away?

I have to say, I'm really surprised that with TWO working parents and minimal (if any?) childcare expenses, you still can't make ends meet?

She is a teacher and he is completing his bachelors and probably making 40k/yr....it shouldn't be that hard to wrap your mind around it.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Your tight budget sounds temporary, correct? In a few years, your husband will have more earning potential and your debts will be gone.

If your family can afford it, I would explain the situation and ask for an interest-free loan - which you could use to pay off your student loans, or whatever you want.

[Anonymous]

I'd move. I know how stressful it is to be in a constant state of worry over money and you shouldn't have to live like that. Your mom will just have to understand. Maybe she'll be upset at first but if you make a concerted effort to keep her included and up to date on the kids frequently, I bet she'll come around.

[Anonymous]

Is moving in with either set of parents an option? Live in the basement and throw all of your earnings into debt and try to build a nest egg? Not ideal, but I know a couple of families in this area in similar situations as yours who did that for a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get megabux mom to pay your loans. How is it that you have exorbitant loans and rich parents, anyway?

I don't understand this either. We are in a similar situation to you -- nonprofit workers who want to stay in the area to be close to family. But it's been doable so far partly because neither of us have student loans. Our parents aren't extremely wealthy, but they had enough money to pay for 4 years at state schools for us. How do you have wealthy parents, with whom you seem to have a good relationship, yet massive student loans?

[Anonymous]

Tell the parents your choices are (1) moving in with them (2) they pay your rent or mortgage every month or (3) you move to a cheaper area.

I know lots of people whose kids can't afford to live in the DC area. I know other people whose parents have purchased them a house / condo / townhome so they can stay here. If you sit down with your parents and show them your budget and say these are the only choices, maybe they will listen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I teach for Frederick County, he is in school for his bachelors in accounting/finance. He works an entry level job in accounting, I have applied to MCPS for next year but FCPS pays so little, idk if we will make it until next year.

Have you looked at City of Alexandria? My daughter was offered 12 jobs in less than 2 days the summer after she graduated from college. They were all in Fairfax, MOCO and City of Alexandria. The pay was significantly more in City of Alexandria and she loved the school. She started out as a brand new teacher at $50,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents and grandparents are all independently wealthy

Then they should pick up the slack if they want you to stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband barely makes above minimum wage. We both have exorbitant student loans.

Why do you have student loans if your parents are wealthy? Ask them to pay at least your loans.

[Anonymous]

I haven't lived near family since high school. I have chronic pain where having help would be so nice and now that we have kids help would be amazing. It would be nice to have people to celebrate birthdays and holidays with or people we feel completely comfortable calling in an emergency.
The first few years are hard. You are still building your network. You have to get to know coworkers, find friends, find doctors, find activities. It is hard to start over. It does get easier.

I think you will be a little upset in either scenario. If you stay, you will be upset that it is such a struggle financially. If you leave, you will be upset that you are missing time with your family. You have to decide what makes more sense and what would make you truly happier. Don't let your mom's guilt guide your decision.

If your mom has so much money would it be easy for her to come visit you often? If you are making significantly more money, could you afford to come visit often? What do the long term finances look like in either scenario?

[Anonymous]

How will your DH finish his degree if he moves away? I hope it isn't one of those useless online degrees. If he eventually gets his CPA, he should be able to break six figures pretty easily.

I majored in finance and earned 100k at my first job.

[Anonymous]

I, too, am wondering about the rich parents/massive student loan debt.

Is it your parents didn't believe in paying for your college and they wanted to make you work for it so you would appreciate your education?

[Anonymous]

Can you tutor on the side? We pay a FCPS $50 per hour to help my child read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I, too, am wondering about the rich parents/massive student loan debt.

Is it your parents didn't believe in paying for your college and they wanted to make you work for it so you would appreciate your education?

Yes, can't they help with your loans or your DH's tuition? Surprised they didn't help out with down payment.

[Anonymous]

she got her feelings WAY hurt and was angry for weeks

Wow - - this was NOT nice of her. Emotionally manipulative. Make sure you don't think this is normal