When your partner makes you feel like a lesser priority ...

[Anonymous]

Agree with the advice that the two of you are mismatched.

I also think you both should hold of on marrying each other or anyone else preferable until you are at least 30.

[Anonymous]

My mom gave me a great piece of advice once and I will pass it along to you.

Never make someone a priority in your life that makes you and option in theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom gave me a great piece of advice once and I will pass it along to you.

Never make someone a priority in your life that makes you and option in theirs.

Confusing.
Did you mean " Never make someone a priority in your life who makes you an option in theirs"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom gave me a great piece of advice once and I will pass it along to you.

Never make someone a priority in your life that makes you and option in theirs.

Confusing.
Did you mean " Never make someone a priority in your life who makes you an option in theirs"

Yes, sorry typing on phone

[Anonymous]

DH put me on a pedestal and made me his first priority when we were dating. I am chop liver now. We have 2 kids and another on the way. DH works long hours and we do all family time on his time off.

You sound really needy. When DH and I were dating, I had an awesome social life and went out 5x per week. DH, then boyfriend, would sometimes join me. He did his thing. I did mine. He or I would end up at one another's apt at the end of night most nights. it was a healthy relationship. I never felt I was in competition with his friends and family. If DH objected to my going out with my friends, I would not have been with him. I had other insecure boyfriends who didn't like me going out and the relationship did not last.

[Anonymous]

PP here. DH used to have a really needy girlfriend. She wanted to hang out with him all the time and kept pressuring him to marry her. The more she pushed, the less he was attracted to her. it's like she lost herself at the want of getting married.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you'd want him to stay home just to watch you feel sick and rest, that doesn't make any sense to me.
Regarding g the rest of it I think you have a point, if he has energy to hang with his friend he should have energy to plan a night out of the house with you too.

[Anonymous]

That is all I want, PP.

What's frustrating to me is that he is capable of planning nights with friends and family 3-5 days/week. But he cannot plan anything with me. I have to plan it, and most of the times pay for it. I pay for our vacations, I buy him plenty of gifts, if we go out for dinner I have to choose where we go. I would like to feel wined and dined sometimes and cannot remember the last time he planned something out for me without me initiating it. Yet he is perfectly fine to go out with friends to wherever and plan that.

I am aware I seem needy. I think it's that my needs with him really just aren't being met so it can seem like i'm overreacting. But it's alot of pent up frustration over the last two years. He works out of the home, away for 2-3 months at a time 7+ months of the year and when he is home he can't bother to plan or do anything special for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is all I want, PP.

What's frustrating to me is that he is capable of planning nights with friends and family 3-5 days/week. But he cannot plan anything with me. I have to plan it, and most of the times pay for it. I pay for our vacations, I buy him plenty of gifts, if we go out for dinner I have to choose where we go. I would like to feel wined and dined sometimes and cannot remember the last time he planned something out for me without me initiating it. Yet he is perfectly fine to go out with friends to wherever and plan that.

I am aware I seem needy. I think it's that my needs with him really just aren't being met so it can seem like i'm overreacting. But it's alot of pent up frustration over the last two years. He works out of the home, away for 2-3 months at a time 7+ months of the year and when he is home he can't bother to plan or do anything special for me.

So leave. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. I'm sure there is someone out there that longs for a needy girlfriend who overanalyzes his every move. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I don't think you sound needy op. I think you sound normal. But I do think you're with the wrong guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: What's frustrating to me is that he is capable of planning nights with friends and family 3-5 days/week. But he cannot plan anything with me. I have to plan it, and most of the times pay for it. I pay for our vacations, I buy him plenty of gifts, if we go out for dinner I have to choose where we go. I would like to feel wined and dined sometimes and cannot remember the last time he planned something out for me without me initiating it. Yet he is perfectly fine to go out with friends to wherever and plan that.

I would feel used. Why are you paying for everything? He doesn't sound like he is a good fit for you.

[Anonymous]

You need pre-marital counseling.

[Anonymous]

Are you guys actually engaged? Why are you always paying? That would piss me off if he blew all his money on others and not on me. It sounds like he is using you and taking you for granted.

When DH and I were dating, we didn't really plan dates. We just went out to eat. We'd be hungry, decide if we wanted to eat in or out. Drive to our favorite Mexican, Chinese, Japanese, Greek, Indian, etc. restaurant. Go home, have sex, go to bed.

[Anonymous]

Move on. It doesn'tsteer who is wrong and who is right but you aren't right for each other.

[Anonymous]

OOops it doesn't matter who is wrong and who is right.