Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you need friends in low places. Just like Garth.

To be dragged into their drama, financial troubles, depressing lives?

Just a joke.

[Anonymous]

No, because I'm not a snobby bitch. Seriously, I have people all over the spectrum in my family, and while I certainly have more in common with some of them than with others, I don't feel any need to cut anyone out of my life.

OP, it sounds like you're taking your siblings' lives waaaaaay too personally. It also sounds like you only really value people for their achievements--I have family members who married young, never went to college, who've worked in secretarial positions their whole lives, who are probably "losers" in your book, but I don't ever think of them that way. I love them, and I value their kindness, their support, and their senses of humor. They value family. They were proud of me for my academic and professional achievements, never jealous or bitter. I judge my family by the same criteria I judge anyone else--their character, not their resumes.

[Anonymous]

My wife has a wing. Working class doesn't bother me. It's impregnating the best friends wife and drug abuse that I can't tolerate.

[Anonymous]

I just have a real issue with stupid family. A working class job is fine, but at least read a newspaper and make sure your kids are busting ass at school. I have nothing to talk to you about if you're an ignorant moron raising loser kids.

[Anonymous]

My brother and SIL are like this and we pretty much don't communicate with them. But it's more because SIL is a pathological liar and a horrible person than anything else.

[Anonymous]

No OP, I've had the opposite happen. Worked hard all my life and did well in school only to be criticized and cut off because I am too well educated to be "fun" now.

Don't do that to your relatives. They may be happy with their lives and the world needs all sorts of people. Now, if they are using drugs or participating in criminal activities, that is different. Just being broke or not having high expectations is what it is. If you stay in touch, some of those kids could see they have different options.

[Anonymous]

Thanksgiving with a certain wing of my in-laws is just football talk and reality tv and whatever other Jerry Springer drama going on in their lives. Trash is trash. I can only tolerate it once a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a large family. 1/3 of my siblings are what Beltway UMC would describe as flyover losers. It grinds my gears these days as I watch our kids grow up and I'm realizing theirs are clearly going to be losers too. It's depressing to see them grow older and their fate becomes more defined. It was frustrating to see siblings underachieve, but to see their kids achieve nothing either because of their ignorant and lazy parenting decisions is way worse. The worst part is that they just shrug it off! It doesn't even bother them that their kids are unmotivated morons that will achieve nothing.

PP talked about cutting out family for being racist/drug user/dysfunctional etc. OP talked about cutting of family because they are underachievers and lazy. Huh?

[Anonymous]

My DH and I have this on both sides of the family and while I don't have as much in common with them, I really do think it is important for people to socialize/understand people deeply from all walks of life (not just hear about them on the news or read about them in the paper). It is a way to develop empathy, both in yourself and in your children. We try to model kindness to everyone, regardless of their success/failure, and use it as teachable lessons for the kids. For example, I had a relative that committed a non-violent crime and went to federal prison for a few years. We did not cut him off. We discussed why this happened and what we could better do to support him. I think that cutting a person like that off will cause more problems down the line. Everyone needs love and support. Everyone needs a hug and a good family meal. We have all done things we aren't proud of and I am glad that our families have stuck together, through thick and thin. Sometimes it is hard, but there is good in everyone if we just see past our prejudices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a large family. 1/3 of my siblings are what Beltway UMC would describe as flyover losers. It grinds my gears these days as I watch our kids grow up and I'm realizing theirs are clearly going to be losers too. It's depressing to see them grow older and their fate becomes more defined. It was frustrating to see siblings underachieve, but to see their kids achieve nothing either because of their ignorant and lazy parenting decisions is way worse. The worst part is that they just shrug it off! It doesn't even bother them that their kids are unmotivated morons that will achieve nothing.

PP talked about cutting out family for being racist/drug user/dysfunctional etc. OP talked about cutting of family because they are underachievers and lazy. Huh?

There are varying degrees of trash, but end of the day trash is trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife has a wing. Working class doesn't bother me. It's impregnating the best friends wife and drug abuse that I can't tolerate.

+1 morals not money matter.

[Anonymous]

My trashy family is in denial about how low they are. Trash to them is trailer park and meth. That's the worst form of trash, but there's also plenty of middle class trash whose kids never leave town, community college dummies, dead-end jobs, tattoos, and out-of-wedlock births.

[Anonymous]

By all means cut off people who are bigoted or abusive or whatever, but you have missed the point of family if you cut people off because hey have tattoos
Or had kids out of wedlock or went to commmunity college.

[Anonymous]

Do them a huge favor and DO stay away from them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, because I'm not a snobby bitch. Seriously, I have people all over the spectrum in my family, and while I certainly have more in common with some of them than with others, I don't feel any need to cut anyone out of my life.

OP, it sounds like you're taking your siblings' lives waaaaaay too personally. It also sounds like you only really value people for their achievements--I have family members who married young, never went to college, who've worked in secretarial positions their whole lives, who are probably "losers" in your book, but I don't ever think of them that way. I love them, and I value their kindness, their support, and their senses of humor. They value family. They were proud of me for my academic and professional achievements, never jealous or bitter. I judge my family by the same criteria I judge anyone else--their character, not their resumes.

OP is insecure that is what it comes down to.