What does "single Mom" mean?

[Anonymous]

Are you single or married? Are you a mom or are you not?

If you are an unmarried mother, you are a single mom. Period.

The history of how you came to be, coparenting %, financial arrangements, if your bf is in the picture, if your sister helps you with carpool, if you make a Stouffers lasagna and call it family dinner, all these levels of martyrdom - that's just meanspirited bickering and splitting of hairs. No single mom has the spare time to worry about your cluckety clucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always thought "single mom" meant a woman who has kid(s) but the father is completely out of the picture. She is 100% responsible for the kids, no custody with the father, etc.
But I've seen women on here and other sites refer to themselves as single moms, but then mention the kids going to be with their fathers. So does the term single mom actually mean divorced/seperated/single Mom, but not necessarily without help?

Genuinely curious because I may have been wrong my whole life!

Why does it have to have a strict definition? Life is complicated and the words are constantly evolving with it.

[Anonymous]

Not paying child support is rare now. Single mother has 80 percent or more custody and makes most if not all major decisions.

[Anonymous]

I receive some child support from my ex husband and he gets the kids for two weeks in the summer and they spend Christmas or spring break (alternating years) with him. I still consider myself a single mom. So sue me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you single or married? Are you a mom or are you not?

If you are an unmarried mother, you are a single mom. Period.

The history of how you came to be, coparenting %, financial arrangements, if your bf is in the picture, if your sister helps you with carpool, if you make a Stouffers lasagna and call it family dinner, all these levels of martyrdom - that's just meanspirited bickering and splitting of hairs. No single mom has the spare time to worry about your cluckety clucks.

So I'm a single mom now because my partner and I chose not to get legally married? Even though we have lived together for decades in one home and support and parent our kids together 24/7?

[Anonymous]

Single mom means a person who is not married to their child's other parent and who is not in a cohabitating or romantic relationship with their child's other parent.

There are all sorts of configurations of that, though. I am a single mom because I am unmarried and have a child with my previous boyfriend. He is an involved coparent, but I am very much the primary/default parent. (and when he deploys, I am the 100% custodial parent.) I have friends who had themselves inseminated, and there is no father in the picture. I have friends who were married and are now single moms with little or no help from dad. I have friends who had babies in previous relationship with varying levels of involvement.

We recognize there is a great deal of variation between individual single moms.

(also, obviously, once a single mom marries or remarries, she is no longer a single mom, even if it's not to the father of her child.)

[Anonymous]

lol defensive much?

what do you put down on the school forms? single or married? that's your answer troll

[Anonymous]

14:40 here - also "married mom" doesn't take into account whether you are a married mom whose husband is away most of the time on business. It includes the women whose husbands don't help with the kids, the women whose husbands are cheating, and the women whose husbands are deployed, though those women have a pretty good claim on the phrase "I feel like a single mom sometimes."

[Anonymous]

Why so "judgey" OP? Who cares what people call themselves?

I always thought a single mom was one where the former husband or spouse or partner didn't live with them and the kids lived with the mom.

Why does it matter to you? Are you getting divorced soon and worried what people will call you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting, actually. I always thought of it as mothers who have total financial and logistical responsibility for the kids (no shared custody etc). Seems some disagree.

+1. I'm a single mom with an acquaintance who has primary, but shared, custody and considers herself a single mom. I strongly disagree.

I have a friend who calls herself a single mom if her DH is out of town for more than a week. As someone who was an actual single mom for 10 years, I an not amused.

[Anonymous]

I take it to mean the mother is the primary caretaker Dad is either absent or minimaly invovled

[Anonymous]

single mom-a single woman who is also a parent. it doesn't mean she's a parent by choice, widowed or divorced. and it shouldn't matter how she got there.

who cares!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single mom means a person who is not married to their child's other parent and who is not in a cohabitating or romantic relationship with their child's other parent.

There are all sorts of configurations of that, though. I am a single mom because I am unmarried and have a child with my previous boyfriend. He is an involved coparent, but I am very much the primary/default parent. (and when he deploys, I am the 100% custodial parent.) I have friends who had themselves inseminated, and there is no father in the picture. I have friends who were married and are now single moms with little or no help from dad. I have friends who had babies in previous relationship with varying levels of involvement.

We recognize there is a great deal of variation between individual single moms.

(also, obviously, once a single mom marries or remarries, she is no longer a single mom, even if it's not to the father of her child.)

We'll have to agree to disagree 14:40. While someone with an involved co-parent may technically fit the description of "single mom," that isn't what I think the phrase typically implies.

[Anonymous]

I always thought single mom meant having zero help/support from the father.

You're not a single mom if you have the kids Mon.-Wed. and every other Sat. & Sun. You're a part-time parent. You're a divorced parent. You're a separated parent. You're by no means a single parent. You can, however, be "a single woman with kids." I know plenty single women with kids who claim to be single moms. I never hesitate pointing out the fact that they are not single moms when they're playing the "oh, I'm a single mom" card. Just like I never hesitate to point out to guys that it's impossible to babysit your own kids. It's called being a dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting, actually. I always thought of it as mothers who have total financial and logistical responsibility for the kids (no shared custody etc). Seems some disagree.

+1. I'm a single mom with an acquaintance who has primary, but shared, custody and considers herself a single mom. I strongly disagree.

I have a friend who calls herself a single mom if her DH is out of town for more than a week. As someone who was an actual single mom for 10 years, I an not amused.

Ugh.