Drama when I have to work on weekends

[Anonymous]

Your husband needs to learn to take full charge when he is on duty w/the kids.

He shouldn't have to ask for your assistance in getting things prepared, etc.
He should be able to do everything himself.

Sure he may not do any of the things as good as you do, but that is fine.

Next time he asks for your assistance, let him know that he is completely capable of doing everything himself.
Trust me, if he is forced to then he will be able to.

Tell him you really need to focus on your job duties that weekend.

Hope this helps!!

[Anonymous]

Putting aside the obvious issues with your husband expecting you to manage weekend activities, but assuming you don't like working on the weekends during the day when your kids are around, can you just work early in the morning or at night? 6-7 hours a weekend of work does not seem like a lot to me - work an hour or 2 in the morning before they get up, a couple hours at night after bedtime, repeat the next day.

[Anonymous]

I left early last Saturday to take my oldest to his soccer game 1.5 hours away and left DH to take the younger two to their soccer games. Their bags were ready, etc. he texted me asking how much milk to put in their cereal. WTF?

[Anonymous]

the kids are 6 and 8, they need to help get it together. Have a family meeting hte night before to plan the day. Decide what each child (including your husband) is responsible for and encourage them to get packing that night. Leave early the next day with your computer and do not come back until the end of the day. Do not feel guilty. Do not criticize if the house is a mess or the kids are wearing mismatched clothes and ate pizza for 3 meals (while this double standard annoys me--the mom has to be the default responsible healthy parent and the dad gets to get away with junk food, tv and a mess, if you're just starting to put your DH in the seat of responsibility, dont go over board).

[Anonymous]

Talk to your husband about what would make this better!

My kids are a lot younger, and there are four of them (6 and under), so when DH has to work on the weekend we get a babysitter for part of the time to either be another set of hands so I can take the kids to whatever fun thing is going on, or I can work for an hour or two, or do a house project, or whatever.

I sort of imagine that once the youngest is 5 or 6 we wouldn't need extra help, but is that an option at least some of the time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I left early last Saturday to take my oldest to his soccer game 1.5 hours away and left DH to take the younger two to their soccer games. Their bags were ready, etc. he texted me asking how much milk to put in their cereal. WTF?

This sounds like a symptom of you micromanaging every last little thing all the time. Is it possible that when DH DOES help, it is never to your standard? Are you always correcting him and instructing him how to do it your way? If so (and be honest) then you have created the situation yourself.

[Anonymous]

Have your husband read this thread. He's a big old baby and should be taking care of the kids himself. If my husband had a secure and well-paid job, I would be HAPPY to care for the kids on certain weekends while he worked.

[Anonymous]

I work every other weekend. I would be furious if my DH acted like yours. It took a little time to adjust, but once we did DH is wonderful at planning activities with our 4 year old.

[Anonymous]

"I left early last Saturday to take my oldest to his soccer game 1.5 hours away and left DH to take the younger two to their soccer games. Their bags were ready, etc. he texted me asking how much milk to put in their cereal. WTF?"

Please tell us you didn't respond!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you could mention again that you earn more.

I don't mind at all that she mentioned it. My ding dong earns more and I make sure he gets to work on time, works from home when he needs to or stays late if he has to. He moved to DC for work and should take his work seriously.
I call my work that I'm late because he is late. And no, I don't see his money. I would never eff with his job the way he has eff'd with mine.
Op, your DH is an idiot when it comes to not letting you work on weekends. Mine SO can be like that, but luckily we are not married and leaving the idiot won't be too hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is, you know, mostly your fault for not allowing your DH to be an adult.

There's always one. Feel superior now, PP?

[Anonymous]

Agreed with many pp. He needs to figure out how to deal with logistics or deal with the consequences of forgetting things like anyone else. He's a grown man treat him like one

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine having an adult child like your husband. Why did you have kids with him if he can't handle kids ?

[Anonymous]

I had an "I can't do it" attitude for a long time. One day, I realized that I was basically a single parent and that I could do it without DH. Not entirely your situation, but the attitude shift is very helpful sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an "I can't do it" attitude for a long time. One day, I realized that I was basically a single parent and that I could do it without DH. Not entirely your situation, but the attitude shift is very helpful sometimes.

Oh, when I start to feel like it is too much, I take a deep breath, tell myself I CAN do it and make a short list of what I need to to do make it happen.