S/o when a child won't work with a particular parent
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Anonymous
+1 Reading out loud is so important at that age!! But a child doesn't necessarily have to read to a parent each and every time time. Why not give DS some nights where he can read aloud to the family pet instead? Or a Star Wars figure? Or a stuffed animpal? Or a houseplant? Or let him choose his audience. Make it fun and silly! The idea is for the child to practice making the connection between what he sees, how he interprets it in his head, and how he forms the words aloud. Who hears it is less important than the fact that he's doing it willingly. Bonus if he feels he has some sort of CHOICE about the situation (i.e. his audience). Of course, if you were the one listening instead of the dog or ficus tree, you would be able to correct his mistakes. But it's really ok for him to read aloud sometimes WITHOUT someone else doing the correcting. That's a rare chance for him to practice self-correcting . . . and if you're lucky, to discover that it's actually kinda' fun to read without worrying about getting something wrong. All good lessons. All that said . . . If you think he'll blow it off without you sitting by his side, tell him you're going to listen for 30 seconds by the door (or from down the hall etc.) a few times just to be sure he's reading out loud. You won't correct anything. But you'll be checking. Then let him practice for a few sentences to be sure you can hear him from your "secret" listening spot. Remind him of the "natural consequences" -- if he wants to keep the privilege of sometimes reading aloud to someone or something other than you or DH, he needs to actually read aloud. If he's faking it or not doing it, he's back to reading only to his parents. 
P.S. I fot the idea from our library. They have Read-to-Anna-the-Dog hour once a week. Anna is a super cute service dog, and many reluctant readers love to read to her!
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Anonymous
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As a kid I did everything I could to avoid having to work on homework with my father. He was a perfectionist with a quick temper, so if I was slow at understanding something he went from frustrated to yelling very quickly. It was intimidating, and sometimes outright scary when I was really young. In addition I almost always felt shamed when working with him (even if he was trying to be patient) because even though I was a good student and fairly smart, he was obviously smarter, knew the stuff already, and I hated feeling stupid in front of him.
I got homework help on my own, made myself as independent as possible by around 3rd grade so I never needed my parents' involvement, and as a rare last resort sometimes "forgot" homework at school if I knew I didn't know how to do it and knew he would be home early that night before I could figure it out myself. If a kid "won't" work with one parent -- not just prefers the other, but actually tries to actively avoid one parent's help -- respect that and stop pushing it. Let the kid own the grades that result from their own choices -- if academic success isn't worth getting a particular form of assistance, there's likely a reason. Consider if there's a personality mismatch. Not all people work well together. I would advise working on strengthening the parent-child relationship in general, rather than forcing both unhappy parties through the motions. |
Anonymous
Not doubting two professionals in the field, but... why? Reading out loud seems fairly unnecessary, and like it would come with time as the kid becomes a better reader in general. No? |
Anonymous
Not a teacher, but I have some personal experience. I could read just fine as a kid and did well in school, but I had a very hard time reading out loud, even into high school and beyond. With my own kids, I've been reading to them every night and although it was hard at first my skills are now good. The two things I notice now looking back are: 1) Practice, practice, practice to become better, and 2) I think having trouble reading aloud harmed my abilities to give talks and speak in front of others when I was young. I see it as a basic skill upon which others build - perhaps not as important as the 3 R's, but worth investing some time if a kid is having trouble. |