starting fresh with husband's family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Raise above the bickering with your SIL. You weren't wrong to take care of your child. Just don't involve. Not all inlaw relationships need to be warm and cuddly. Sometimes cordial is enough.

We're going to be in each other's lives permanently, so I would like a relationship.

You don't know that. If you get divorced, you probably wouldn't ever have to see them. I'm not saying you're going to get divorced, I'm saying never say never, or in this case, never say 'permanently.' It may not be so.

My two cents- disengage. your husband can take your daughter to see them, or not. I wouldn't involve with those people, and certainly wouldn't see them.

My daughter goes so I go. And never. I will say never. We take our vows seriously and don't believe in divorce. I refuse to have the mindset of "if we get divorce"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're to easily engaged. Sill will bait you and you'll fall for it.

I haven't for the past 4 months.

That's bc your approach has been all or nothing.

No, I've seen her. I've talked with her. I've just left everything that SHOULD be addressed by DH be addressed by DH. It's really made a difference.

Ok that's good

I feel like if we're going to let bygones by bygones and stuck with each other, it wouldn't hurt to have a relationship with her.

But you also have to remember that she hasnt changed. She's who she is and is likely going to continue to lie and create drama. You can't change her. And you should not use her behavior as an excuse for your own poor behavior. Know who she is and hope that the drama comes from insecurity and immaturity, not maliciousness. Try to keep things light. I recommend meeting up to do something rather than sitting around staring at each other across a table. Build shared memories and have an activity that will distract and focus the attention away from potential issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're to easily engaged. Sill will bait you and you'll fall for it.

I haven't for the past 4 months.

That's bc your approach has been all or nothing.

No, I've seen her. I've talked with her. I've just left everything that SHOULD be addressed by DH be addressed by DH. It's really made a difference.

Ok that's good

I feel like if we're going to let bygones by bygones and stuck with each other, it wouldn't hurt to have a relationship with her.

But you also have to remember that she hasnt ch


anged. She's who she is and is likely going to continue to lie and create drama. You can't change her. And you should not use her behavior as an excuse for your own poor behavior. Know who she is and hope that the drama comes from insecurity and immaturity, not maliciousness. Try to keep things light. I recommend meeting up to do something rather than sitting around staring at each other across a table. Build shared memories and have an activity that will distract and focus the attention away from potential issues.

Good idea. I think im over anxious because this is the first she's ever apologized to me. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Raise above the bickering with your SIL. You weren't wrong to take care of your child. Just don't involve. Not all inlaw relationships need to be warm and cuddly. Sometimes cordial is enough.

We're going to be in each other's lives permanently, so I would like a relationship.

You don't know that. If you get divorced, you probably wouldn't ever have to see them. I'm not saying you're going to get divorced, I'm saying never say never, or in this case, never say 'permanently.' It may not be so.

My two cents- disengage. your husband can take your daughter to see them, or not. I wouldn't involve with those people, and certainly wouldn't see them.

My daughter goes so I go. And never. I will say never. We take our vows seriously and don't believe in divorce. I refuse to have the mindset of "if we get divorce"

Okay. Let us know how that goes in 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're to easily engaged. Sill will bait you and you'll fall for it.

I haven't for the past 4 months.

That's bc your approach has been all or nothing.

No, I've seen her. I've talked with her. I've just left everything that SHOULD be addressed by DH be addressed by DH. It's really made a difference.

Ok that's good

I feel like if we're going to let bygones by bygones and stuck with each other, it wouldn't hurt to have a relationship with her.

But you also have to remember that she hasnt ch


anged. She's who she is and is likely going to continue to lie and create drama. You can't change her. And you should not use her behavior as an excuse for your own poor behavior. Know who she is and hope that the drama comes from insecurity and immaturity, not maliciousness. Try to keep things light. I recommend meeting up to do something rather than sitting around staring at each other across a table. Build shared memories and have an activity that will distract and focus the attention away from potential issues.

It's great she apologized.

Good idea. I think im over anxious because this is the first she's ever apologized to me. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're to easily engaged. Sill will bait you and you'll fall for it.

I haven't for the past 4 months.

That's bc your approach has been all or nothing.

No, I've seen her. I've talked with her. I've just left everything that SHOULD be addressed by DH be addressed by DH. It's really made a difference.

Ok that's good

I feel like if we're going to let bygones by bygones and stuck with each other, it wouldn't hurt to have a relationship with her.

But you also have to remember that she hasnt ch


anged. She's who she is and is likely going to continue to lie and create drama. You can't change her. And you should not use her behavior as an excuse for your own poor behavior. Know who she is and hope that the drama comes from insecurity and immaturity, not maliciousness. Try to keep things light. I recommend meeting up to do something rather than sitting around staring at each other across a table. Build shared memories and have an activity that will distract and focus the attention away from potential issues.

Good idea. I think im over anxious because this is the first she's ever apologized to me. Ever.

It's great she apologized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Raise above the bickering with your SIL. You weren't wrong to take care of your child. Just don't involve. Not all inlaw relationships need to be warm and cuddly. Sometimes cordial is enough.

We're going to be in each other's lives permanently, so I would like a relationship.

You don't know that. If you get divorced, you probably wouldn't ever have to see them. I'm not saying you're going to get divorced, I'm saying never say never, or in this case, never say 'permanently.' It may not be so.

My two cents- disengage. your husband can take your daughter to see them, or not. I wouldn't involve with those people, and certainly wouldn't see them.

My daughter goes so I go. And never. I will say never. We take our vows seriously and don't believe in divorce. I refuse to have the mindset of "if we get divorce"

Okay. Let us know how that goes in 10 years.

Sure thing. We've been together since high school and our relationship is great. We've certainly had our bumps in the road but we are in this for the long haul.

[Anonymous]

OP needs a hobby that does not involve responding to every single post.