Should I let DS fail in 7th Grade

[Anonymous]

What would he spend his time doing if left to himself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would an adult do this? Is one of them married to someone else?

???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fucking stand over him and put his nose to the grindstone.

NO other fun until his grades improve. No TV, no phone, no internet, no sports, no friends.

My parents tried this with my brother. Now he's an adult, has moved to the other side of the country, and has as little to do with them as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he involved in extracurricular activities (i.e. sports, or other areas of interest)? I'm not sure if he is a "young" 7th grader, but from my experience that could also play a part. My child is born in August and looking back I wish he could of started K a year later as that additional year would of been so helpful.

Not young but on the older side - November birthday.
He plays soccer and basketball. Although as things have gotten worse he is expressing little interest in either.
Just feel like we are losing him.
He has friends and makes friends easily. He is one the more popular kids in his grade.
He is outgoing and will talk to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Why do you think he should go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could he be depressed?

This was my thought too. Worth screening for.

[Anonymous]

OK, he plays soccer and basketball but what does he want to do instead of homework?

If he would rather workout in the school yard with the basketball 6 hours a day that is one thing.
If he would rather learn from the internet or be a computer hacker that is another.
I know a kid who reads history books for fun 6 hours a day and yes, it hurts his school grades.

But if all he wants to do is play video games, for example, you need to find a way to divide his attention.
Look around for you local robotics team or send him to a camp where he can program his own game next summer.

Was he ever good at school or has he always had to work hard to keep up?
Obviously, testing will help answer this question more completely.

[Anonymous]

OP,

You're just on tenterhooks waiting for that neuropsych. Of course you're not going to let your kid fail without doing everything for him first!

I bet a few issues will show up on the evaluation - you will have your work cut out to address them! Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, he plays soccer and basketball but what does he want to do instead of homework?

Watch tv. Play video games (taken away because he stole credit card and charged $500 worth of xbox games). Play on phone. Text friends, not allowed to have snapchat. Watch porn (if he could find it anywhere on-line-we had to block everything in house). Watch you tube videos.
That is about the extent of his interests.

[Anonymous]

Repeating 7th grade might not be the worst thing. College's look at high school transcripts that start in 9th grade. He may need an extra year to work some issues out. Is college something he's interested in exploring? Wishing all of you the best of luck-middle school is rough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fucking stand over him and put his nose to the grindstone.

NO other fun until his grades improve. No TV, no phone, no internet, no sports, no friends.

We tried this approach and it did not change anything. Just made him more irritable and angry, which lead to violent and destructive outbursts.
He has gotten to the point where he has gotten physical with both of us. He is large for his age.

I thought poster #1 was kidding. But OP was doing this. Tells me that OP needs to look at parenting skills. Try PEP. You are killing your kid and it's YOUR FAULT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, he plays soccer and basketball but what does he want to do instead of homework?

If he would rather workout in the school yard with the basketball 6 hours a day that is one thing.
If he would rather learn from the internet or be a computer hacker that is another.
I know a kid who reads history books for fun 6 hours a day and yes, it hurts his school grades.

But if all he wants to do is play video games, for example, you need to find a way to divide his attention.
Look around for you local robotics team or send him to a camp where he can program his own game next summer.

Was he ever good at school or has he always had to work hard to keep up?
Obviously, testing will help answer this question more completely.

Oh good grief. This kid's not going to be "coding anything," no matter how trendy you think that is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, he plays soccer and basketball but what does he want to do instead of homework?

Watch tv. Play video games (taken away because he stole credit card and charged $500 worth of xbox games). Play on phone. Text friends, not allowed to have snapchat. Watch porn (if he could find it anywhere on-line-we had to block everything in house). Watch you tube videos.
That is about the extent of his interests.

yikes! sorry OP. No advice. what happened to him that such a young boy has become violent and watching porn?
Was he aggressive/problematic as a little boy?

[Anonymous]

Set up short term goals and stick to them, one day at a time. 30 minutes homework for 30 minutes of screen x. Make him use a timer so you're not standing over him.
Limited gaming or social activities on weekends, increasing in amounts if he brings home papers, gets good report from teachers. Have teachers sign his HW assignment book to be sure he's turning it in.
Try to show love, humor even if he's been acting like a jerk but stick to your guns. He will fight you.

[Anonymous]

Do NOT hold him back in school. This will not help. Set rules using short-term rewards. Enlist help from teachers, counselor on daily monitoring.