Getting divorced and need financial reboot. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So all of the lawyers think the $1200 for child support is adequate?

We think it is inadequate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So all of the lawyers think the $1200 for child support is adequate?

They don't think it's adequate, no. They just think that I might not get a lot more than that without a costly legal battle, and even then, there's no assurance.

[Anonymous]

Worth it to fight on this. It will affect you for years.

[Anonymous]

Are you seriously asking your ex to fund your vacations to visit your family?

200k after taxes really isn't that much money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you seriously asking your ex to fund your vacations to visit your family?

200k after taxes really isn't that much money.

$200k > $50k, you get what you can from your ex to give your child a nice childhood.

[Anonymous]

OP, I didn't read all of the posts.

First problem is that you don't say anything about JOINT savings.

Given you aren't divorced, I'm assuming joint assets haven't been divided yet.

The other issue is that you don't say anything about your attorney. You need to get a good attorney. You need the attorney to advocate for how much you realistically NEED for child support to maintain the standard of living your child is used to. That is really key.

Before doing anything else, I'd make sure to get a really good attorney.

[Anonymous]

Any chance of reconciliation? That would be cheapest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Child support is not supposed to make up the difference in your living expense but provide for the child's needs. That is alimony. You can ask for a few years, but since you are working its probably a no.

I would ask him to pay activities, medical and child care above the child support.

If OP only works part time/self-employed because she was providing childcare for their family, then she definitely has a case for alimony. She needs a good attorney.

Also, child support isn't just about the child's needs. I have a relative who recently went through a divorce, and part of the child support question was, "What is needed to maintain the standard of living the child is accustomed to." If the husband made the lion's share of the income while the wife provided child care, it isn't okay that suddenly they split and the husband only has to pay enough child support so that his child is fed. That isn't the way it worked for my relative. She was able to make a case for decent child support and alimony based on the fact that she provided childcare for several years (setting back her earning potential) so that he could earn more. She also made a case for providing for a certain standard of living for the kids that he most certainly could afford.

[Anonymous]

OP, also make sure you get something in the divorce agreement about husband contributing to college for your child.

You really need a good lawyer. Now is the time to get the best arrangement you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for the OP: do you have a lawyer?

Yes I do. My takeaway from consultations so far is that things could go either way for me, depending on the judge if it goes to court, and it might require a costly legal battle to take it that far. Not reassuring.

And to answer the other question above, most of the income during the marriage was spent on intangible items.

It sounds like you need a better lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you seriously asking your ex to fund your vacations to visit your family?

200k after taxes really isn't that much money.

$200k > $50k, you get what you can from your ex to give your child a nice childhood.

PP here. I have considered getting divorced. My DH earns about $1m per year. I don't work now but used to earn about $100k per year working part time. I realized I probably would not get the house and even if I did, could not afford to maintain it. DH is a good provider, an involved dad and doesn't abuse me or anything. We have a civil relationship and I keep my lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you seriously asking your ex to fund your vacations to visit your family?

200k after taxes really isn't that much money.

$200k > $50k, you get what you can from your ex to give your child a nice childhood.

PP here. I have considered getting divorced. My DH earns about $1m per year. I don't work now but used to earn about $100k per year working part time. I realized I probably would not get the house and even if I did, could not afford to maintain it. DH is a good provider, an involved dad and doesn't abuse me or anything. We have a civil relationship and I keep my lifestyle.

Do you have affairs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you seriously asking your ex to fund your vacations to visit your family?

200k after taxes really isn't that much money.

$200k > $50k, you get what you can from your ex to give your child a nice childhood.

PP here. I have considered getting divorced. My DH earns about $1m per year. I don't work now but used to earn about $100k per year working part time. I realized I probably would not get the house and even if I did, could not afford to maintain it. DH is a good provider, an involved dad and doesn't abuse me or anything. We have a civil relationship and I keep my lifestyle.

Do you have affairs?

No, we are unhappily faithful to one another. DH's parents are divorced and he does not want a broken family for our children. We are both committed to our children.

[Anonymous]

I have to agree with other posters, you need a better lawyer. Your lawyer is essentially saying to you, you need to settle for less than is fair because anything else is going to be too much work.

Is the lawyer working for you or your husband?

[Anonymous]

"$200k > $50k, you get what you can from your ex to give your child a nice childhood."

Op is voluntarily underemployed, as she's only working part-time. Ex is right to calculate and offer child support based on an assumption of what her full-time salary would be. $1200 may not be 100% right on, but may not be far off, either. I would concentrate my efforts on 1) getting a full time job that pays health insurance, and 2) getting a settlement that provides for either temporary (1 year or so) alimony or higher child support that is then reduced to a specific level once you have a full time job or after a 1 or 2 year period, whichever comes first.

Working part time to pick up one's child from school is lovely, but the reality is that OP has no right to continue to do that once she is divorced.