Help me fire the cleaning lady

[Anonymous]

9:43 again. What I'm trying to say (I think I was unclear) is I never accused her or had that conversation with her, so she could save face. And I gave her six week's of pay (which might be too much for you; it was excessive but she was with me a long time). So I knew that she had six weeks to find another job.

Part of what I was paying for was to not have a problem, not have hard feelings. To her, six weeks pay was a windfall.

Tangent, I also temporarily rented out my house and was paying my neighbor to watch over it. She and my gardener got in a fight over a charge she didn't think she (I) should pay and he did think she should pay.

I'm in Southern California so having a gardener is a year-round thing. I'd had this gardener for years (he was the prior owner's gardener) but had always wanted to find a way to let him go. He was furious at my neighbor and expected me to back him.

Oh, it was a hard conversation to have. I did let him go, but I gave him two checks--both the money he thought he deserved, and 5 weeks of pay. Again, although I wanted to ease his transition and thank him for years of service and have him feel listened to, believed, and fairly treated, I also didn't want a problem--didn't want to be penny-wise/pound-foolish and end up in small claims. And also, he's all around the neighborhood and didn't want to worry about him.

[Anonymous]

Firing someone who stole? Very easy. Her financial situation isn't your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, your services are no longer needed at my apartment or at (business).

How hard is that?

It's not that hard. I was asking how to approach it. My question was clear in the original post.

I feel morally responsible since the two houses made up much of her weekly pay. I am also morally responsible to deal with it so I don't put my employers' place at risk. I don't know if you've ever had to fire someone, but it is difficult, especially if the person doesn't make much money.


Thank you, 9:43. I appreciate the advice.

I might feel morally responsible if you were just "going in a different direction" (i.e. you were cutting back at home, using the boss's niece/sister at work, etc.) I mean in that case if she has done well by you, it's nice to give her maybe a month's severance. Not required, but nice.

But come on, your cleaner stole $$$ from you. That sort of throws out any "moral responsibility" to give her any sort of severance -- what "moral responsibility" you may have had was more than cashed in when you didn't call the police.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, your services are no longer needed at my apartment or at (business).

How hard is that?

It's not that hard. I was asking how to approach it. My question was clear in the original post.

I feel morally responsible since the two houses made up much of her weekly pay. I am also morally responsible to deal with it so I don't put my employers' place at risk. I don't know if you've ever had to fire someone, but it is difficult, especially if the person doesn't make much money.


Thank you, 9:43. I appreciate the advice.

I might feel morally responsible if you were just "going in a different direction" (i.e. you were cutting back at home, using the boss's niece/sister at work, etc.) I mean in that case if she has done well by you, it's nice to give her maybe a month's severance. Not required, but nice.

But come on, your cleaner stole $$$ from you. That sort of throws out any "moral responsibility" to give her any sort of severance -- what "moral responsibility" you may have had was more than cashed in when you didn't call the police.

OP I can totally understand this stressing you out because you were the one that hired her to work at your employer's home. That said, you should feel zero moral responsibility because those two jobs make up a lot of her pay. Did you ever steal anything in the past due to financial issues? probably not. You are actually doing her a favor by firing her and telling her why! That way she'll learn her lesson and never do it again....although I am sure she knows that what she did was wrong. Don't be a pushover. Just get it done already.

[Anonymous]

Was the money out in the open? Is it at all possible that the cleaning lady thought the money was her pay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, your services are no longer needed at my apartment or at (business).

How hard is that?

It's not that hard. I was asking how to approach it. My question was clear in the original post.

I feel morally responsible since the two houses made up much of her weekly pay. I am also morally responsible to deal with it so I don't put my employers' place at risk. I don't know if you've ever had to fire someone, but it is difficult, especially if the person doesn't make much money.


Thank you, 9:43. I appreciate the advice.

She stole from you. She needs to find a better profession that does not have the opportunity to steal.

Oh come on people; really?

Op clearly has so much more wealth than this poor woman Could ever dream of having. And you don't know her personal circumstances; maybe she's caring for a sick child or parent? Or she's supporting a whole family overseas.

Was it really wrong of her to take a few bucks given her situation? You all shouldn't judge so much.

Besides, as another PP already asked, maybe she mistakenly thought it was her pay or maybe a tip? Maybe that's normally how bonuses are given in her culture? This could all be a misunderstanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Op clearly has so much more wealth than this poor woman Could ever dream of having. And you don't know her personal circumstances; maybe she's caring for a sick child or parent? Or she's supporting a whole family overseas.

How many wealthy people do you know who have roommates? I'm not wealthy. The cleaning woman probably makes the same as me, possibly more, and I am supporting a parent... and a child. Rein yourself in.

I am not going to pay severance for myself and two others. It's not appropriate. Thankfully, I don't think I'll need to let her go. My biggest issue with the incident was her behavior after the fact. She didn't take the money, but believed my roommate that the money was missing. She paid back the money out of her own pocket before finding the person who took it. It was her helper and she has dealt with the issue. She offered no admission or explanation because she didn't know what happened at that point.

I didn't mention the helpers sooner because it didn't really affect how I would go about letting her go. The sticky-fingered helper looks like a different woman who came to my employer's place the following day. I have verified it wasn't the same woman.