Are married men allowed to make new single female friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

Married men should not create new friendships with single females.

Cordial, polite surface relationships? Sure.

Friendships with regular contact? No.

Completely inappropriate.

I tend to agree, but....

My husband has a colleague at work with whom he works closely. They're friends. She and I are friends. She babysits our kid. I don't see harm in it.

I'm not sure why it is, but this would bother me.

She and I get together once a week. She doesn't get together with my husband outside of work unless we're doing couples things. She's a close friend with no kids and she adores our toddler!

And that would bother me. Maybe it's because I've heard too many stories of the "friend" who was "friends" with the wife too that became the OW that I'm suspicious. I'd also not be kay with a single woman who wasn't the nanny, relative, or longtime friend "adoring" my kid. That too me seems like she's trying to prove her mothering skills.
I'm probably paranoid.
Don't let my projections cast shadows on your relationship.

PP here. I can only say this because it's an anonymous board.

My/ DH's friend is really overweight - probably a size 20 or larger. Honestly, if she were thin, I wouldn't be comfortable with their chumminess.

Flame away.

[Anonymous]

We don't allow new single friends of the opposite sex. I can honestly say it's for the best even on my part. Our marriage has gone through some tough times in the past where I could have easily slipped. I'd rather not play with temptation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

PP here. I can only say this because it's an anonymous board.

My/ DH's friend is really overweight - probably a size 20 or larger. Honestly, if she were thin, I wouldn't be comfortable with their chumminess.

Flame away.

Maria Shriver was probably "comfortable" with Arnold's relationship with the squat Guatemalan housekeeper. Maria found out that a horny man will stick it in any available hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

Married men should not create new friendships with single females.

Cordial, polite surface relationships? Sure.

Friendships with regular contact? No.

Completely inappropriate.

I tend to agree, but....

My husband has a colleague at work with whom he works closely. They're friends. She and I are friends. She babysits our kid. I don't see harm in it.

I'm not sure why it is, but this would bother me.

She and I get together once a week. She doesn't get together with my husband outside of work unless we're doing couples things. She's a close friend with no kids and she adores our toddler!

It's bothersome because it's the plot of basically every lifetime movie ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

PP here. I can only say this because it's an anonymous board.

My/ DH's friend is really overweight - probably a size 20 or larger. Honestly, if she were thin, I wouldn't be comfortable with their chumminess.

Flame away.

Maria Shriver was probably "comfortable" with Arnold's relationship with the squat Guatemalan housekeeper. Maria found out that a horny man will stick it in any available hole.

And bigger chicks do extras so I'm told.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

PP here. I can only say this because it's an anonymous board.

My/ DH's friend is really overweight - probably a size 20 or larger. Honestly, if she were thin, I wouldn't be comfortable with their chumminess.

Flame away.

Maria Shriver was probably "comfortable" with Arnold's relationship with the squat Guatemalan housekeeper. Maria found out that a horny man will stick it in any available hole.

Alas, not all men are cheaters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you happy to include your wife in the friendship? When I was single I made "couple" friends with people I met at work.

I guess my standard is - are both halves of the couple in your cell phone?

Yes, this would be my standard too. I understand completely that work sucks for most people and when you make friends you can rely on at work, that's important. I said it in the other thread, it's about transparency. My fiancé has some single female friends and includes me in any activities they're involved in. We have a large circle of friends that includes many couples, unmarried. We all text each other, male and female alike. We also have a big group text and it's very open and inclusive, so no problems. I'd have a problem with my fiancé hanging around just a single chick and doing things alone, never including others, and texting at all hours. It's not that I don't trust him, but it's about respect and the appearance of impropriety.

[Anonymous]

I'm fine with my husband being friendly with women at work. Totally normal and no biggie.

If he came home one day and said he made friends with another woman somewhere and would be going out for drinks or dinner with her, I would have an issue. I also don't think most spouses behave in that context though so it's a non starter. Typically, married people make friends at work with coworkers or with fellow couples they know through kids, friends, neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with it at all. But if you have sex with the new friend make sure your wife doesn't know.

[Anonymous]

I make friends with women at work. Go out to lunch with them occasionally but never dinner or drinks, or any other after work activity. I enjoy the company but have never chested (emotionally or physically) nor do I plan to.

[Anonymous]

Only if the females are gay.

I'm totally serious here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make friends with women at work. Go out to lunch with them occasionally but never dinner or drinks, or any other after work activity. I enjoy the company but have never chested (emotionally or physically) nor do I plan to.

What could happen at dinner that couldn't happen at lunch? Fine, you never cheated, but to say it's because you kept meetings between 9-5? Come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't allow new single friends of the opposite sex. I can honestly say it's for the best even on my part. Our marriage has gone through some tough times in the past where I could have easily slipped. I'd rather not play with temptation.

What the hell kind of marriages are you people in??????

[Anonymous]

Those of you who are saying "we don't allow" this, just know that you aren't actually accomplishing anything. When I worked in corporate America and then the government, every single day, a different co-worker whose wife "didn't allow" him to have friends of the opposite sex took me out to lunch. Mind you, I wasn't looking to do anything with these co-workers, and these were just friendly lunches, but I could not for the life of me believe how many of them had wives who "didn't allow" friendly relationships with single people of the opposite sex. In a sense, it made these guys seek out those friendships even more, even though it never went anywhere past friendship. If you all trusted your spouses more and didn't restrict them, maybe they wouldn't actively seek out such friendships - not that I personally think there's anything wrong with single and married folks being friends.

These men were all very sweet, always respectful, kind, and I always told them they could do so much better than their controlling spouses, because they really could. Even when you are married, you do not own another person. You cannot police their lives and tell them they can't f'ing have friends. That's out of control. The sooner you learn this, the better off your marriages will be.

XO,

The Office Pretty Young Thing Befriending All Your Husbands

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I make friends with women at work. Go out to lunch with them occasionally but never dinner or drinks, or any other after work activity. I enjoy the company but have never chested (emotionally or physically) nor do I plan to. [/quote]

What could happen at dinner that couldn't happen at lunch? Fine, you never cheated, but to say it's because you kept meetings between 9-5? Come on.[/quote]

I had a lunch friend like that when I was a summer associate. I think there was some attraction, in the sense we enjoyed each other's company, but nothing was going to happen. If alcohol or long hours/travel were involved, who knows? I didn't end up working there and we are cross-country Facebook friends.