Drama performance at Disney

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Also, I make all the meds myself, and while I can show dh, I am afraid he could make a mistake - they are really complicated.

I just have to say -- shouldn't you BOTH know how to make your child's medications?

There seems to be more at issue here than logistics over DD's disney trip.

[Anonymous]

When my DD was 8, I would have fretted about her not going and jumped through serious hoops to make sure she was there even setting up situations that weren't necessarily logical or well planned. Now that my DD is a few years older, I can look back and say that I should not have worried about those opportunities and options back when she was 8. In the years between 8 and 13, it turned out there were several more "once in a lifetime" opportunities that presented themselves and I realized there will always be such opportunities. Some we did take advantage of when she was younger she hardly remembers or they turned out to be no big deal. In your situation, I would just turn down the opportunity and tell her you are sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my DD was 8, I would have fretted about her not going and jumped through serious hoops to make sure she was there even setting up situations that weren't necessarily logical or well planned. Now that my DD is a few years older, I can look back and say that I should not have worried about those opportunities and options back when she was 8. In the years between 8 and 13, it turned out there were several more "once in a lifetime" opportunities that presented themselves and I realized there will always be such opportunities. Some we did take advantage of when she was younger she hardly remembers or they turned out to be no big deal. In your situation, I would just turn down the opportunity and tell her you are sorry.

You know, while on the one hand, I agree with the basics of this sentiment, on the other hand I feel for this 8 year old, the younger sibling of a medically fragile child with a (self admitted) controlling mother. When does this girl get the spotlight or to have fun? When will this 8 year old get to experience Disney?

OP, i wonder if your (self admitted!) control tendencies freaked out the grandparents on the allergy thing. Disney is good with allergies.

This trip is more than half a year off - can't you figure out a way to let this happen? Hire help for yourself and send your DH off with her (with oldest child, too?). Speak warmly to grandparents about the allergy - confidently assert this sis something they can easily handle. Something to give your kids a break from always working around your ill child. Heck, entire family go - just GO - and work around ill child while there - Disney will help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my DD was 8, I would have fretted about her not going and jumped through serious hoops to make sure she was there even setting up situations that weren't necessarily logical or well planned. Now that my DD is a few years older, I can look back and say that I should not have worried about those opportunities and options back when she was 8. In the years between 8 and 13, it turned out there were several more "once in a lifetime" opportunities that presented themselves and I realized there will always be such opportunities. Some we did take advantage of when she was younger she hardly remembers or they turned out to be no big deal. In your situation, I would just turn down the opportunity and tell her you are sorry.

You know, while on the one hand, I agree with the basics of this sentiment, on the other hand I feel for this 8 year old, the younger sibling of a medically fragile child with a (self admitted) controlling mother. When does this girl get the spotlight or to have fun? When will this 8 year old get to experience Disney?

OP, i wonder if your (self admitted!) control tendencies freaked out the grandparents on the allergy thing. Disney is good with allergies.

This trip is more than half a year off - can't you figure out a way to let this happen? Hire help for yourself and send your DH off with her (with oldest child, too?). Speak warmly to grandparents about the allergy - confidently assert this sis something they can easily handle. Something to give your kids a break from always working around your ill child. Heck, entire family go - just GO - and work around ill child while there - Disney will help you.

Whoops, i missed that the medically fragile child is younger. But I stand by everything else.

OK, here are the options:

- take everyone together. Grandparents come, too to help manage down there. Oldest child misses few days of school.
- Build grandparent's confidence over next 6 months, get them to take DD
- DH goes with 8 year old. Hire help.
- DH and grandparents go with 8 year old - hire help at home.
- Some combination goes with 8 and 12 year old. Older child misses school. Hire help.
- you go - and hire additional medical help for DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The question really has nothing to do with whether it's a marketing ploy or not. The question is: how can you accommodate the needs of your other children with a medically fragile child?

The answer needs to be: you find a way. If you are too worried about DH's ability to manage care, you need to work on it. You have 7 months. Train DH, hire an aid. Practice on a weekend. You need to be able to help your other kids when they need it too.

I think this is the bigger question. Today it's this Disney trip, but tomorrow it will be something else. Siblings of children with high needs have spoken eloquently on this board about the frustration/resentment they felt as again (spilling over to this day) at ALWAYS having the other kids come first, and never feel like parents focused on them. This is not to throw stones at you, OP--I can imagine how challenging things are for you. I'm just saying that you are going to need to put some effort into figuring out strategies that will serve ALL your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The question really has nothing to do with whether it's a marketing ploy or not. The question is: how can you accommodate the needs of your other children with a medically fragile child?

The answer needs to be: you find a way. If you are too worried about DH's ability to manage care, you need to work on it. You have 7 months. Train DH, hire an aid. Practice on a weekend. You need to be able to help your other kids when they need it too.

I think this is the bigger question. Today it's this Disney trip, but tomorrow it will be something else. Siblings of children with high needs have spoken eloquently on this board about the frustration/resentment they felt as again (spilling over to this day) at ALWAYS having the other kids come first, and never feel like parents focused on them. This is not to throw stones at you, OP--I can imagine how challenging things are for you. I'm just saying that you are going to need to put some effort into figuring out strategies that will serve ALL your children.

+1

[Anonymous]

Can your parents travel to stay with you for 4 day and help out, while your H takes your DD to Disney?

[Anonymous]

Personally I don't think it's fair to punish your daughter because you are a control freak. She will always remember that you never sacrificed for her and it was always about her brother. From personal experience (4 of my cousins) this never ends well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Also, I make all the meds myself, and while I can show dh, I am afraid he could make a mistake - they are really complicated.

I just have to say -- shouldn't you BOTH know how to make your child's medications?

There seems to be more at issue here than logistics over DD's disney trip.

I'm pretty sure he knows. OP is a self admitted control freak so even if he can handle it, someone like OP would never trust him.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are dealing with a lot OP. Is there anyone else who could go to Disney with 8 year old DD -- an aunt, uncle, your dh's parents, etc?

[Anonymous]

Middle child and second daughter? And with a medically fragile younger sibling?

OP, PLEASE find a way to let this Disney trip happen. At 8/9, she will LOVE Disney.

This is one of those make-or-break decision that she will always remember. Please let it be a happy one.

[Anonymous]

Hire an aide (or even a nurse if you have the money) and send DH and DD. What is your objection to that plan?

[Anonymous]

So you parents just now discovered your DD has peanut allergies? I would really like to know the history of your interactions about this topic.

[Anonymous]

Tell your kid she can't go. Your parents can't help, your DH can't go alone and you can't go alone. What kind of answer are you expecting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The question really has nothing to do with whether it's a marketing ploy or not. The question is: how can you accommodate the needs of your other children with a medically fragile child?

The answer needs to be: you find a way. If you are too worried about DH's ability to manage care, you need to work on it. You have 7 months. Train DH, hire an aid. Practice on a weekend. You need to be able to help your other kids when they need it too.

I think this is the bigger question. Today it's this Disney trip, but tomorrow it will be something else. Siblings of children with high needs have spoken eloquently on this board about the frustration/resentment they felt as again (spilling over to this day) at ALWAYS having the other kids come first, and never feel like parents focused on them. This is not to throw stones at you, OP--I can imagine how challenging things are for you. I'm just saying that you are going to need to put some effort into figuring out strategies that will serve ALL your children.

I totally agree with this. I'm the now adult sister with a sibling who is SN. Don't forget your other kids. They need your attention (which means one-on-one time) with parents too. Also, you really need someone who is able to handle your DS - just for your own sanity. Seriously, you must need a break.