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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When my DD was 8, I would have fretted about her not going and jumped through serious hoops to make sure she was there even setting up situations that weren't necessarily logical or well planned.  Now that my DD is a few years older, I can look back and say that I should not have worried about those opportunities and options back when she was 8. In the years between 8 and 13, it turned out there were several more "once in a lifetime" opportunities that presented themselves and I realized there will always be such opportunities.  Some we did take advantage of when she was younger she hardly remembers or they turned out to be no big deal.  In your situation, I would just turn down the opportunity and tell her you are sorry. 
 [/quote]

You know, while on the one hand, I agree with the basics of this sentiment, on the other hand I feel for this 8 year old, the younger sibling of a medically fragile child with a (self admitted) controlling mother.  When does this girl get the spotlight or to have fun?  When will this 8 year old get to experience Disney?

OP, i wonder if your (self admitted!) control tendencies freaked out the grandparents on the allergy thing.  Disney is good with allergies.

This trip is more than half a year off - can't you figure out a way to let this happen?  Hire help for yourself and send your DH off with her (with oldest child, too?).  Speak warmly to grandparents about the allergy - confidently assert this sis something they can easily handle.  Something to give your kids a break from always working around your ill child.  Heck, entire family go - just GO - and work around ill child while there - Disney will help you.  [/quote]

Whoops, i missed that the medically fragile child is younger.  But I stand by everything else.

OK, here are the options:

- take everyone together.  Grandparents come, too to help manage down there.  Oldest child misses few days of school.  
- Build grandparent's confidence over next 6 months, get them to take DD
- DH goes with 8 year old.  Hire help.  
- DH and grandparents go with 8 year old - hire help at home.  
- Some combination goes with 8 and 12 year old.  Older child misses school.  Hire help.  
- you go - and hire additional medical help for DH.  [/quote]

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