| $20 Starbucks card |
No, dear. Gauche is poor people pretending that being stingy is really a virtue. |
No most schools do not allow expensive gifts as there can be the optics that teachers will treat said child differently. Same thing in the government. |
Not true that "most schools do not allow expensive gifts." Three children, six different private schools through the years. Not one limited teachers' gifts. Nice try. |
| anywhere between $25- $250 per family |
| St Patrick's does. You are told to donate to room parent who then gives a group gift. |
Bully for St. Patrick's. It's not a common practice among private schools to limit parents' gifts to teachers. I think it's strange that a school feels it has to "intervene" in how parents express thanks. |
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I'm a private school teacher and at the end of the year I get a group gift from parents. I'm pretty sure this comes from the class fund that is collected at the beginning of the year.
I'm sure the person who is giving a $200 gift has good intentions, but it is extremely inappropriate. |
| Agree. If you want to do more add it into the class teacher's gift. This is what I do so there is not an air of impropriety. |
Why is it "proper" to give more as part of a group gift, but not as an individual gift? The implication is what somehow if a gift is attributed, a teacher would do something different for the child. That's not possible when the gift occurs at the end of the year. And, most teachers are perfectly capable of accepting a gift without it affecting the way the treat children in the classroom. I give generously to my kids' teachers, and save the most generous gifts for the end of the year precisely so teachers don't feel like I'm trying to influence how they treat my kids. It's a pure gesture of appreciation. |
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I'm a teacher.
I get individual gift cards/cash anywhere between $15 - 300 at end of year. I don't find any of them inappropriate, and I am grateful for each and every gift. |
Yet you have kids -- plural. Ever had the same teacher twice? Do you think teachers talk and know who is extravagant with gifts? |
Of course I'm not going to treat a child differently because of a gift. But an extravagant gift (and yes, for a teacher $200 is an extravagant gift) feels like a tip you give to your hired help. It feels icky. |
Nope, haven't had the same teacher twice. No, Indon't think teachers are tacky enough to talk about which parents give more than others. What a crass thing to impute to them. It sounds like you have issues with generosity to teachers because you assume the worst about their character and motivation, |
If it feels icky, feel free to return it. Sad that you see it this way rather than assuming the person who is giving is just generous and appreciative. $200 is not extravagant to us. We spend $200-$300 on close friends' birthday presents. We deeply appreciate the role our kids' teachers play in their lives and are grateful that we've been blessed with some lovely, extraordinary people. If we were "tipping" them based on how we value their "service," the tip would be in the tens of thousands. . |