Parents Who Bully the School

[Anonymous]

Which, aside from the different years-for-different-classes idea, doesn't seem to be what was being complained about above?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which, aside from the different years-for-different-classes idea, doesn't seem to be what was being complained about above?

And none of the issues complained about are related to the article OP shared.

[Anonymous]

LOL! Maybe if DCPS were not regularly violating children's FERPA rights and sending me home notes saying that my PK3 child cannot walk with his shoulder touching the wall to recess like all the other kids and so must be assessed for special needs, all the while letting a horrible teacher's aide stay in the classroom until he literally loses it in a criminal manner, then maybe I would not "bully" the school.

[Anonymous]

I get that there are probably type-A, overly demanding parents out there, but at our school parents tend to push back not to request exceptions to policy, but rather to request that the school follow DCPS policy and the law. At our school, parents push back when teachers and administrators do things like:

1. Casually talking or emailing with students and parents about details of other students' discipline situations and grades (in clear violation of FERPA).

2. Repeatedly, consistently and as a matter of policy violating DCPS published discipline guidelines --- and continuing to do so after the violation has been repeatedly pointed out to them.

3. Generally creating an environment of chaos in which parents are repeatedly called in at the last second to bail the school out of organizational disasters that teachers and admins have created out of sheer incompetence --- forgetting to order transportation for school events, forgetting to notify parents about field trips, scheduling multiple competing events for the same venue at the school, notifying parents of elementary-aged kids about after school activities (games, practices, clubs) the day of, so that they have to scramble to change pick-up plans, having a new and different process for parent teacher conference sign-ups EVERY DAMN TIME. And on, and on and on.

4. Failing to grade work and failing to post grades to the grade reporting system until months after the work was due, so that students have no opportunity to fix missing assignments. Giving students grades on their report cards after an entire grading period in which they have not received a single graded assignment back from the teacher.

Unfortunately, the above are daily or weekly occurrences at our school. Many DCPS staff don't seem to get a basic truth of organizations: rules, policies and procedures exist to make life easier, more transparent and more consistent for everyone. If teachers and admins bothered to learn and follow DCPS' written policies on things like discipline, student privacy, and ADA, much of this "bullying" would disappear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get that there are probably type-A, overly demanding parents out there, but at our school parents tend to push back not to request exceptions to policy, but rather to request that the school follow DCPS policy and the law. At our school, parents push back when teachers and administrators do things like:

1. Casually talking or emailing with students and parents about details of other students' discipline situations and grades (in clear violation of FERPA).

2. Repeatedly, consistently and as a matter of policy violating DCPS published discipline guidelines --- and continuing to do so after the violation has been repeatedly pointed out to them.

3. Generally creating an environment of chaos in which parents are repeatedly called in at the last second to bail the school out of organizational disasters that teachers and admins have created out of sheer incompetence --- forgetting to order transportation for school events, forgetting to notify parents about field trips, scheduling multiple competing events for the same venue at the school, notifying parents of elementary-aged kids about after school activities (games, practices, clubs) the day of, so that they have to scramble to change pick-up plans, having a new and different process for parent teacher conference sign-ups EVERY DAMN TIME. And on, and on and on.

4. Failing to grade work and failing to post grades to the grade reporting system until months after the work was due, so that students have no opportunity to fix missing assignments. Giving students grades on their report cards after an entire grading period in which they have not received a single graded assignment back from the teacher.

Unfortunately, the above are daily or weekly occurrences at our school. Many DCPS staff don't seem to get a basic truth of organizations: rules, policies and procedures exist to make life easier, more transparent and more consistent for everyone. If teachers and admins bothered to learn and follow DCPS' written policies on things like discipline, student privacy, and ADA, much of this "bullying" would disappear.

I wonder what school you are at. None of this happens at our DCPS.

Although frankly I don't even know what FERPA stands for, and my instinct is that parents who talk about their children's "FERPA rights" might deserve the "type A" label.

[Anonymous]

FERPA - Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (sort of a HIIPA for schools -- prevents a school employee from sharing info about a child's grades, disability, etc with others)

http://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get that there are probably type-A, overly demanding parents out there, but at our school parents tend to push back not to request exceptions to policy, but rather to request that the school follow DCPS policy and the law. At our school, parents push back when teachers and administrators do things like:

1. Casually talking or emailing with students and parents about details of other students' discipline situations and grades (in clear violation of FERPA).

2. Repeatedly, consistently and as a matter of policy violating DCPS published discipline guidelines --- and continuing to do so after the violation has been repeatedly pointed out to them.

3. Generally creating an environment of chaos in which parents are repeatedly called in at the last second to bail the school out of organizational disasters that teachers and admins have created out of sheer incompetence --- forgetting to order transportation for school events, forgetting to notify parents about field trips, scheduling multiple competing events for the same venue at the school, notifying parents of elementary-aged kids about after school activities (games, practices, clubs) the day of, so that they have to scramble to change pick-up plans, having a new and different process for parent teacher conference sign-ups EVERY DAMN TIME. And on, and on and on.

4. Failing to grade work and failing to post grades to the grade reporting system until months after the work was due, so that students have no opportunity to fix missing assignments. Giving students grades on their report cards after an entire grading period in which they have not received a single graded assignment back from the teacher.

Unfortunately, the above are daily or weekly occurrences at our school. Many DCPS staff don't seem to get a basic truth of organizations: rules, policies and procedures exist to make life easier, more transparent and more consistent for everyone. If teachers and admins bothered to learn and follow DCPS' written policies on things like discipline, student privacy, and ADA, much of this "bullying" would disappear.

I wonder what school you are at. None of this happens at our DCPS.

Although frankly I don't even know what FERPA stands for, and my instinct is that parents who talk about their children's "FERPA rights" might deserve the "type A" label.

I love when people proclaim things like this. It's the first sign that they have no idea what they are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Can we please stop using "bully" to mean "asking for things I disagree with?"

[Anonymous]

I recently became aware that there is a whole cottage industry of these consultants who offer 'seminars' and "in-service training" on "how to handle difficult parents." I'm not actually sure there is a problem -- I think it might be a problem that bureaucrats have created in order to not be held accountable for their own shortcomings.
There's one consultant who specializes in 'how to talk to challenging parents' or the like. There are certain catch phrases that she recommends (i.e. "I understand how concerned you must be feeling, but let's get back to the problem at hand . .. "). The whole philosophy is for administrators to spend as little time as possible talking to parents and to use these catch phrases to bring the meeting to a rapid close while doing nothing and promising nothing.

THe problem with the article referenced above and the industry of these consultants is that it assumes that the correct relationship for a school to have with parents is an adversarial one where parents are not respected and informaiton is not shared with parents. THat's why people pay for private school.

[Anonymous]

I feel really sad for teacher or administrator (presumably who is an adult?) who could be bullied by a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently became aware that there is a whole cottage industry of these consultants who offer 'seminars' and "in-service training" on "how to handle difficult parents." I'm not actually sure there is a problem -- I think it might be a problem that bureaucrats have created in order to not be held accountable for their own shortcomings.
There's one consultant who specializes in 'how to talk to challenging parents' or the like. There are certain catch phrases that she recommends (i.e. "I understand how concerned you must be feeling, but let's get back to the problem at hand . .. "). The whole philosophy is for administrators to spend as little time as possible talking to parents and to use these catch phrases to bring the meeting to a rapid close while doing nothing and promising nothing.

THe problem with the article referenced above and the industry of these consultants is that it assumes that the correct relationship for a school to have with parents is an adversarial one where parents are not respected and informaiton is not shared with parents. THat's why people pay for private school.

ding ding ding!!!! We have a correct answer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently became aware that there is a whole cottage industry of these consultants who offer 'seminars' and "in-service training" on "how to handle difficult parents." I'm not actually sure there is a problem -- I think it might be a problem that bureaucrats have created in order to not be held accountable for their own shortcomings.
There's one consultant who specializes in 'how to talk to challenging parents' or the like. There are certain catch phrases that she recommends (i.e. "I understand how concerned you must be feeling, but let's get back to the problem at hand . .. "). The whole philosophy is for administrators to spend as little time as possible talking to parents and to use these catch phrases to bring the meeting to a rapid close while doing nothing and promising nothing.

THe problem with the article referenced above and the industry of these consultants is that it assumes that the correct relationship for a school to have with parents is an adversarial one where parents are not respected and informaiton is not shared with parents. THat's why people pay for private school.

ding ding ding!!!! We have a correct answer!

Yet the article is written by and for people at private schools (posted on the blog of the Independent School Association.

The scenario they describe in one in which parents berate and bully teachers -- and the parents assume they have more power because they pay/are on the board etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently became aware that there is a whole cottage industry of these consultants who offer 'seminars' and "in-service training" on "how to handle difficult parents." I'm not actually sure there is a problem -- I think it might be a problem that bureaucrats have created in order to not be held accountable for their own shortcomings.
There's one consultant who specializes in 'how to talk to challenging parents' or the like. There are certain catch phrases that she recommends (i.e. "I understand how concerned you must be feeling, but let's get back to the problem at hand . .. "). The whole philosophy is for administrators to spend as little time as possible talking to parents and to use these catch phrases to bring the meeting to a rapid close while doing nothing and promising nothing.

THe problem with the article referenced above and the industry of these consultants is that it assumes that the correct relationship for a school to have with parents is an adversarial one where parents are not respected and informaiton is not shared with parents. THat's why people pay for private school.

ding ding ding!!!! We have a correct answer!

Yet the article is written by and for people at private schools (posted on the blog of the Independent School Association.

The scenario they describe in one in which parents berate and bully teachers -- and the parents assume they have more power because they pay/are on the board etc.

Any psychologist who starts out their article with this kind of labeling have lost any moral authority they might have had:

" Bully parents come in three basic types: the Righteous Crusader, the Entitled Intimidator, and the Vicious Gossip. "

[Anonymous]

wow, seems like none of you folks have read the article, or read if from mid-point. An important premise is:

"...our focus is on coping with the small minority of the most difficult [parents]: those who bully the school. These parents are habitually rude or demanding or disrespectful, engaging in personal attacks on teachers and administrators, demeaning and threatening them. They repeatedly violate the school’s policies, values, and norms of conduct."

now what part of your comments refer to those types of parents? If the school is bad in any way and you make your concerns heard in a civilized manner, you are not a bully and the school must react to your concerns.. what is there to rant about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wow, seems like none of you folks have read the article, or read if from mid-point. An important premise is:

"...our focus is on coping with the small minority of the most difficult [parents]: those who bully the school. These parents are habitually rude or demanding or disrespectful, engaging in personal attacks on teachers and administrators, demeaning and threatening them. They repeatedly violate the school’s policies, values, and norms of conduct."

now what part of your comments refer to those types of parents? If the school is bad in any way and you make your concerns heard in a civilized manner, you are not a bully and the school must react to your concerns.. what is there to rant about

The article's tone is far too defensive and generalizing than that sentence suggest.

In any case, a private school has an easy out...ask the family to leave.