Parents Who Bully the School

[Anonymous]

I'm just going to leave this here. It's not about you. Nope. Just a totally random article that has nothing to do with DCUM.

http://www.nais.org/Magazines-Newsletters/ISMagazine/Pages/Parents-Who-Bully-School.aspx?platform=hootsuite

[Anonymous]

Jesus. It's like they've been a fly on the wall at my school. Sad to say, I see all parents as loose cannons not to be trusted until they've proven themselves otherwise.

Signed, a teacher at a school whose parents are out of control.

[Anonymous]

This section really spoke to me and I identify with the first two factors listed.

"Many factors contribute to the rise in bullying among parents. Three stand out: an epidemic of anxiety; a culture of competitiveness and loneliness in the upper-middle class; and a failure on the part of school administrators to recognize when they are dealing with personality disorders.

The rising tide of anxiety among parents stems in good part from a trade-off between opportunity and predictability that has grown even more severe in recent decades. To be a confident parent requires, among other things, that the rate of change be slow and that the choices for children be few. How else can parents feel sure that what they know is what their children need to learn in order to live successful, productive lives? But the rate of change — social, economic, technological — keeps accelerating and most parents (and schools, for that matter) want students to have maximum opportunity, to be able to become anything they want. This freedom, unprecedented in human history, has obvious appeal, but it means that certainty and confidence for adults about what’s good for children, about how to raise them are in sharp decline. Couple this with a growing uncertainty about future employment, caused by both the financial meltdown of 2008 and the increasing cannibalization of the professional careers by technology, and it’s no wonder that growing numbers of parents are apprehensive about their children’s prospects and eager for the school to provide guarantees for the future, or that they find it hard to tolerate any evidence that their children’s experience is anything but optimal."

I definitely struggle with this last part. I think it partly explains the chase for the golden egg where we see families changing schools so often.

[Anonymous]

From what I've observed in DCPS, the leadership and admins tend to perceive high SES parents as "bullying" schools when they request basic flexibility that would likely be freely accorded in a better run, better thought through school system, whether urban or suburban.

Examples include asking if schools will accommodate students taking excused absences for well-documented foreign travel (while keeping up with school work diligently), students whose parents wish to opt out of "mandatory" elementary school language classes in one world language because kids are being raised to speak, read and write another, and students with learning disabilities whose parents would like them to take some classes with a higher elementary school grade and others with a lower grade (some principals will allow this approach, some won't).

There's a reason that Grosso and Charles Allen lobbied to get the Chief Student Advocate position at OSSE funded, and it's not because parents are doing most of the bullying in the system!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From what I've observed in DCPS, the leadership and admins tend to perceive high SES parents as "bullying" schools when they request basic flexibility that would likely be freely accorded in a better run, better thought through school system, whether urban or suburban.

Examples include asking if schools will accommodate students taking excused absences for well-documented foreign travel (while keeping up with school work diligently), students whose parents wish to opt out of "mandatory" elementary school language classes in one world language because kids are being raised to speak, read and write another, and students with learning disabilities whose parents would like them to take some classes with a higher elementary school grade and others with a lower grade (some principals will allow this approach, some won't).

There's a reason that Grosso and Charles Allen lobbied to get the Chief Student Advocate position at OSSE funded, and it's not because parents are doing most of the bullying in the system!

....says the entitled intimidator...."Entitled Intimidators make no bones about what they want: special treatment for their child. They demand that rules be waived, exceptions made, policies upended"...I mean can you get more exemplary of this then the above statement? Classic.

[Anonymous]

But what if the "special treatment" you and DCPS object to will cost the school system nothing, in staff time, space, or use of facilities and the child is already working at or above grade level across the board? What good does knee jerk resistance do anybody involved? Please explain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I've observed in DCPS, the leadership and admins tend to perceive high SES parents as "bullying" schools when they request basic flexibility that would likely be freely accorded in a better run, better thought through school system, whether urban or suburban.

Examples include asking if schools will accommodate students taking excused absences for well-documented foreign travel (while keeping up with school work diligently), students whose parents wish to opt out of "mandatory" elementary school language classes in one world language because kids are being raised to speak, read and write another, and students with learning disabilities whose parents would like them to take some classes with a higher elementary school grade and others with a lower grade (some principals will allow this approach, some won't).

There's a reason that Grosso and Charles Allen lobbied to get the Chief Student Advocate position at OSSE funded, and it's not because parents are doing most of the bullying in the system!

....says the entitled intimidator...."Entitled Intimidators make no bones about what they want: special treatment for their child. They demand that rules be waived, exceptions made, policies upended"...I mean can you get more exemplary of this then the above statement? Classic.

NP here. Call we parents whatever you want. We expect a school system which can meet the needs of its families - not where families need to meet the needs of bureaucrats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But what if the "special treatment" you and DCPS object to will cost the school system nothing, in staff time, space, or use of facilities and the child is already working at or above grade level across the board? What good does knee jerk resistance do anybody involved? Please explain.

+ a million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I've observed in DCPS, the leadership and admins tend to perceive high SES parents as "bullying" schools when they request basic flexibility that would likely be freely accorded in a better run, better thought through school system, whether urban or suburban.

Examples include asking if schools will accommodate students taking excused absences for well-documented foreign travel (while keeping up with school work diligently), students whose parents wish to opt out of "mandatory" elementary school language classes in one world language because kids are being raised to speak, read and write another, and students with learning disabilities whose parents would like them to take some classes with a higher elementary school grade and others with a lower grade (some principals will allow this approach, some won't).

There's a reason that Grosso and Charles Allen lobbied to get the Chief Student Advocate position at OSSE funded, and it's not because parents are doing most of the bullying in the system!

....says the entitled intimidator...."Entitled Intimidators make no bones about what they want: special treatment for their child. They demand that rules be waived, exceptions made, policies upended"...I mean can you get more exemplary of this then the above statement? Classic.

NP here. Call we parents whatever you want. We expect a school system which can meet the needs of its families - not where families need to meet the needs of bureaucrats.

Let us know when you find it. Talk to parents in Montgomery County, Fairfax and Arlington and you'll see the same challenges.

What you want is called private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I've observed in DCPS, the leadership and admins tend to perceive high SES parents as "bullying" schools when they request basic flexibility that would likely be freely accorded in a better run, better thought through school system, whether urban or suburban.

Examples include asking if schools will accommodate students taking excused absences for well-documented foreign travel (while keeping up with school work diligently), students whose parents wish to opt out of "mandatory" elementary school language classes in one world language because kids are being raised to speak, read and write another, and students with learning disabilities whose parents would like them to take some classes with a higher elementary school grade and others with a lower grade (some principals will allow this approach, some won't).

There's a reason that Grosso and Charles Allen lobbied to get the Chief Student Advocate position at OSSE funded, and it's not because parents are doing most of the bullying in the system!

....says the entitled intimidator...."Entitled Intimidators make no bones about what they want: special treatment for their child. They demand that rules be waived, exceptions made, policies upended"...I mean can you get more exemplary of this then the above statement? Classic.

NP here. Call we parents whatever you want. We expect a school system which can meet the needs of its families - not where families need to meet the needs of bureaucrats.

Let us know when you find it. Talk to parents in Montgomery County, Fairfax and Arlington and you'll see the same challenges.

What you want is called private school.

Fair point!

[Anonymous]

What gets me are the parents who live in MD (yup, I turned them in but they still remain) and behavior in this manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I've observed in DCPS, the leadership and admins tend to perceive high SES parents as "bullying" schools when they request basic flexibility that would likely be freely accorded in a better run, better thought through school system, whether urban or suburban.

Examples include asking if schools will accommodate students taking excused absences for well-documented foreign travel (while keeping up with school work diligently), students whose parents wish to opt out of "mandatory" elementary school language classes in one world language because kids are being raised to speak, read and write another, and students with learning disabilities whose parents would like them to take some classes with a higher elementary school grade and others with a lower grade (some principals will allow this approach, some won't).

There's a reason that Grosso and Charles Allen lobbied to get the Chief Student Advocate position at OSSE funded, and it's not because parents are doing most of the bullying in the system!

....says the entitled intimidator...."Entitled Intimidators make no bones about what they want: special treatment for their child. They demand that rules be waived, exceptions made, policies upended"...I mean can you get more exemplary of this then the above statement? Classic.

NP here. Call we parents whatever you want. We expect a school system which can meet the needs of its families - not where families need to meet the needs of bureaucrats.

Let us know when you find it. Talk to parents in Montgomery County, Fairfax and Arlington and you'll see the same challenges.

What you want is called private school.

Fair point!

Total BS and utter myopia. You pay the taxes supporting schools, you can mold the school culture with other parents and voters. If your school, and the system as a whole, pushes you and other parents around, you push back politely but firmly. You work to ensure that your voice is heard, along with the voices of other stakeholders, and that reasonable requests made of the system for good reason are accommodated.

I testified on behalf of extended funding for the stellar DC Public Chief Student Advocate at the recent city council schools budget hearings. Very glad that I did. This remarkable woman saves the city megabucks by keeping parents for suing DCPS over matters that are easily settled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I've observed in DCPS, the leadership and admins tend to perceive high SES parents as "bullying" schools when they request basic flexibility that would likely be freely accorded in a better run, better thought through school system, whether urban or suburban.

Examples include asking if schools will accommodate students taking excused absences for well-documented foreign travel (while keeping up with school work diligently), students whose parents wish to opt out of "mandatory" elementary school language classes in one world language because kids are being raised to speak, read and write another, and students with learning disabilities whose parents would like them to take some classes with a higher elementary school grade and others with a lower grade (some principals will allow this approach, some won't).

There's a reason that Grosso and Charles Allen lobbied to get the Chief Student Advocate position at OSSE funded, and it's not because parents are doing most of the bullying in the system!

....says the entitled intimidator...."Entitled Intimidators make no bones about what they want: special treatment for their child. They demand that rules be waived, exceptions made, policies upended"...I mean can you get more exemplary of this then the above statement? Classic.

NP here. Call we parents whatever you want. We expect a school system which can meet the needs of its families - not where families need to meet the needs of bureaucrats.

Let us know when you find it. Talk to parents in Montgomery County, Fairfax and Arlington and you'll see the same challenges.

What you want is called private school.

Fair point!

Total BS and utter myopia. You pay the taxes supporting schools, you can mold the school culture with other parents and voters. If your school, and the system as a whole, pushes you and other parents around, you push back politely but firmly. You work to ensure that your voice is heard, along with the voices of other stakeholders, and that reasonable requests made of the system for good reason are accommodated.

I testified on behalf of extended funding for the stellar DC Public Chief Student Advocate at the recent city council schools budget hearings. Very glad that I did. This remarkable woman saves the city megabucks by keeping parents for suing DCPS over matters that are easily settled.

Curious- what kids of things were parents suing for?

[Anonymous]

Most lawsuits are related to students with special needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most lawsuits are related to students with special needs.

Gotcha.