Sibling has a baby; when to visit?

[Anonymous]

Have a discussion.

Really, not trying to be snarky but you and your sibling need to develop the ability to have meaningful conversations and each express what you want, and then decide together.

There is a long life ahead with children, extended families making plans. Start now. Email can be helpful. It allows the other person to think about their answer. And there is a record of what's decided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to the hospital but we are close. I would take the kids and go. What's preventing that?

School for the oldest and spouse is traveling for work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does 'right away' mean? If she wants you to go, I'd go as soon as you can.

While they were still at the hospital. The soonest I can go is next week.

I think next week is soon enough. If you had said you couldn't make it for 4 months, and that would be unreasonable. But you can't usually know exactly when a baby is coming so it's hard to plan to be there right then!

I definitely want to see the baby soon! We (my spouse and I) had a plan based on the due date knowing the baby might come before, but I thought it would still be ok either way. We had even communicated this to sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, send flowers at the hospital right away if you haven't for having her first baby and Mother's Day.

They specifically requested no flowers. I am going to send a good basket for when they arrive at home.

[Anonymous]

When my nephew was born, we booked our flight as soon as my SIL went into labor. 2 hour flight. Got there a couple of hours after he was born. We had no kids then so it was easy to drop everything and go...it was the first baby in the family. My niece was born a few years later. We had a toddler and it was two days before Thanksgiving, so we didn't go. This time my MIL was there, and my H went to visit about two weeks later. So each situation is different. I agree with a PP...ask what your sister wants. And if you can't go immediately because your spouse is traveling, then it is what it is...believe me, babies don't arrive based on plans made by everyone!

[Anonymous]

Same day

[Anonymous]

Ask her. I wanted to come right away. SIL was uber paranoid that my kids had germs that would infect her newborn (I even offered not to bring them; she claimed I was a "carrier" who would put her baby at risk). I was not allowed to see my niece until she was 3 months old.

[Anonymous]

You should fly right away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should fly right away.

And leave my kids to fend for themselves? I am pretty sure that is illegal.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing special about fresh from the vag babies. Your sister is being irrational.

[Anonymous]

Ask your sibling. Ask also how you can help. And maybe stay at a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask your sibling. Ask also how you can help. And maybe stay at a hotel.

We have discussed. She is not happy with it. I am not sure if that means I shouldn't go at all or if I should keep the original plan. I think she is being unreasonable and crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask your sibling. Ask also how you can help. And maybe stay at a hotel.

We have discussed. She is not happy with it. I am not sure if that means I shouldn't go at all or if I should keep the original plan. I think she is being unreasonable and crazy.

Well approaching her with that attitude is sure to set her straight.

[Anonymous]

There's no one answer for this. It sounds like your sister thought you'd drop everything and come no matter what. Instead of acting like she's crazy, act like that's what you want too. "Oh sissy I'm SO SO sorry, but DH is traveling and I just can't get there this week. I'm booking my flight for X day. I am SO SO excited! I know it really stinks I can't come now. I'm sorry. I can't wait to see you next week!"

[Anonymous]

Does she have other family around? I visited my sis in the hospital the day she gave birth for both of her children, but at 2-ish hours away, I'm the closest family/only one able to get there quickly so I felt it was important.

Do your kids have friends they can stay with for just one night so you can head down? If they aren't old enough for that, they probably are young enough that missing school doesn't matter.