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I don't think you have any choice in what this kid does or doesn't do (LMAO at "let him be friends with DS").
What you CAN do is talk about anger management, physical violence, and domestic abuse with your OWN DS. |
Go away, awful posters. You should not encourage or admire violence in teens. |
| I wouldn't let my kid go to a school that has kids who speak like that. |
| I'd want to know more about the story and the girl first. Perhaps she is a huge bully and gets away with it as no one stands up to her. I would not be ok with him hitting a girl, but we don't know the full story. What if that girl were beating up another friend of theirs (girl)? Would you be ok with him hitting her then? |
Even worse. |
| When my DS was 9, he hit a girl. She had some serious issues and would poke and prod him in the lunch line. She did this to others. He asked her to stop and told a teacher. When she didn't stop, he whacked her. She has since left the school to be homeschooled. Good for him. |
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I think that the double standard she exploited is tough on boys.
He shouldn't have hit, for sure. If this reflects a pattern, I would tell my kid to stay away. A one-off event? No kid is perfect and I would hate to think about people throwing my kid away after one bad decision. Adolescences is a time filled with bad decisions and learning. |
That's awful. I would not want my DS to be friends with your DS. |
Eh - I believe in hitting no one, but I also believe that ALL people need to know there are consequences for your actions AND I do not believe you should allow someone to poke, prod, or otherwise touch your body if you don't want them to. I emphasize the three strikes rule with my kids: first you ask them to stop, second you tell a teacher, and the third time - you handle it. I bet she didn't touch him again. |
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Biggest bully in my child's elementary school was a girl, it could have been more self defense.
Have you met the kid? Have him over and ask his version of the story, if it sounds fishy then work on cutting off access to the friendship. You said they were 13, you really don't have the much control over your son anymore. |
| I'm in the too little information camp. I would be concerned, but I also don't think one incident should define anyone. Kids change extremely quickly in the teen years. They learn from their mistakes. Should this kid have done this surely not. Should he have used better judgment--absolutely. Is he nt to be shunned for the rest of his life? I don't think we have enough information to decide the answer to that last one is yes. Ask your son what he thinks. . . . good opportunity for an interesting discussion. |
That's not how I teach my kids to handle their problems. What future do you see for your DS when this kind of rule lands him in jail? |
At 4 and 6 I am worried about teaching them how to set boundaries for themselves, and learning how not to be bullied and picked on. I do not have violent children with behavior problems. I do have children that will stand up for themselves without being aggressors. I am fine with that. |
I'm sorry but we are discussing 13 year olds in the teen forum. i still would never in a million years teach my kid to hit as a strategy, even at 4 and 6. Stupid thing to teach anyone. You are handicapping them. |
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I once egged on a boy in my class when I was 13. Don't remember the circumstances but something about teasing him that I beat him at somthing in gym and that I was stronger than him. And I could beat him up and be couldnt touch me. Ended up saying something like "oh yeah if you're so strong punch my shoulder" and kept egging him on until he did it.
Yeah I was a little shit around that age. And :gasp: this was in one of the wealthiest zip codes in the country. |