Really want to reach out to ex boyfriend - college reunion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is not married according to Facebook. I am pretty sure he is single.

Reunion has come and gone. Neither of us went (assuming he didn't go, he wasn't on the list of attendees).

My husband would not be happy about this contact.

He broke up with me, but it was mutual. No hurt feelings. We probably talked weekly, some weeks daily, for four years post breakup. He gave me a lot of professional advice, I gave him a lot of dating advice. I got married during that period.

That is your answer.

Yup, I agree. Nothing good to come from it.

[Anonymous]

There are several reasons this is a bad idea:
1) you've already tried to reach out and he showed you he wasn't interested;
2) your husband wouldn't like it; and
3) if he was looking for you, he could find you via FB (hint: he's not)
Off the top of my head.

[Anonymous]

Your husband wouldn't be happy if you did this - Case closed. Why are you even considering it? It strikes me as very odd. He's just not that into you, lol

[Anonymous]

Stage 5 clinger, is this why he broke up with you?? So dumb that you're even considering reaching out, especially since he's given you nothing to make you believe he wants to catch up. Not trying to be mean but you need a reality check. You may be better off defriending/blocking him on FB if you can't control yourself.

[Anonymous]

Your husband would be mad and the ex has made it obvious he's not particularly interested. So why aRe you devoting thought to this.

[Anonymous]

Try to think of this situation with you in his place, the roles reversed. An ex who you have no problems with but aren't particularly close to wants to catch up while he's in town. Eeek, you think, I don't want to do that. So you tell him you're busy to soften the blow, but you intentionally don't wax poetic about how you wish you could've saw him. Hopefully he'll get the hint.

Later on, he messages you, saying he was thinking about old times and wants to see how you're doing. You bonk your head against the desk before rolling your eyes and wondering if he'll ever learn to read between the lines.

Don't embarrass yourself, and don't make him uncomfortable. If he wanted to be your friend anymore in any capacity, he would be.

[Anonymous]

You need to search your motives here. You sound bored and in need of an affair.

[Anonymous]

He's single? No, just no.

How old are you guys?

[Anonymous]

I'd say drop it since he said he was busy last year. Unless he sounded like he really wanted to get together but was legitimately busy "hopefully next time!"

[Anonymous]

Yes it would be weird. He'd think you are hitting on him. How would DH feel if he knew you were trying to get back in touch with ex? Let it be in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're facebook friends then you already know what he's been up to and how he's doing.

Yep. Couple that with a LinkedIn profile and you are going to need to dig a little deeper for a reason to contact him other than "wondering what he might be up to".

'

[Anonymous]

Bad idea. Leave him alone.

[Anonymous]

A psychologist once told me that this is exactly how a lot of affairs start. People reach out to an ex, not necessarily looking for an affair but even out of sheer curiosity, and agree to meet. Then they have a nice visit and are flooded with a lot of memories of a time in their life when they were carefree, young and passionate. Next thing they know, they are in an affair. She said she has seen this happen numerous times, even when they were in happy marriages, even when the spouse was ok with the initial meeting.

So this is a bad idea. Well for that reason and the reason that your ex has sent pretty clear signals that he is not interest in restarting your friendship.

[Anonymous]

Yes do it. If nit now when?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A psychologist once told me that this is exactly how a lot of affairs start. People reach out to an ex, not necessarily looking for an affair but even out of sheer curiosity, and agree to meet. Then they have a nice visit and are flooded with a lot of memories of a time in their life when they were carefree, young and passionate. Next thing they know, they are in an affair. She said she has seen this happen numerous times, even when they were in happy marriages, even when the spouse was ok with the initial meeting.

So this is a bad idea. Well for that reason and the reason that your ex has sent pretty clear signals that he is not interest in restarting your friendship.

And social media makes this a lot easier. OP, I had an old gf reach out on FB and did not welcome it. She is not in my life for a reason, and that will never change. Put yourself in his place. Maybe he is single and does not want to be. Then you, with the happy marriage comes along and reminds him of what is not in his life.