Man wondering about sexuality

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again and I appreciate the feedback. Not sure what a pp meant by getting myself into something that would be hard to get out of but I did speak to a therapist, which was incredibly difficult. The most confusing thing for me is presenting myself to the world in a certain way for so long, then realizing the opposite is true. I am starting to understand my anxiety towards women was the result of not being 100% straight. Am I scared? Heck yes. The thought of being involved with another guy is both exciting and unchartered waters. But being honest about my orientation is my first step.

It would be hard to get yourself out of a gay lifestyle once you start down that path.

I agree. I have a good guy friend who is bi. It's so easy for him to find guys to hook up with, so that's what he does.

Not necessarily. My "gay" cousin always dated guys. A few years ago, he fell head over heels for a young woman and I was confused thinking that he must really be straight until he explained that he was not gay, that he'd always been bi but so many guys were available, so that's who he mostly dated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again and I appreciate the feedback. Not sure what a pp meant by getting myself into something that would be hard to get out of but I did speak to a therapist, which was incredibly difficult. The most confusing thing for me is presenting myself to the world in a certain way for so long, then realizing the opposite is true. I am starting to understand my anxiety towards women was the result of not being 100% straight. Am I scared? Heck yes. The thought of being involved with another guy is both exciting and unchartered waters. But being honest about my orientation is my first step.

It would be hard to get yourself out of a gay lifestyle once you start down that path.

I agree. I have a good guy friend who is bi. It's so easy for him to find guys to hook up with, so that's what he does.

Not necessarily. My "gay" cousin always dated guys. A few years ago, he fell head over heels for a young woman and I was confused thinking that he must really be straight until he explained that he was not gay, that he'd always been bi but so many guys were available, so that's who he mostly dated.

That's funny. I have gay friends who say how difficult it is to meet someone because 95% of their target market (men) are straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman, I would consider you gay.

As a bisexual man, this is exactly the kind of narrow and ignorant thinking that continues to make our identity misunderstood and stigmatized. It amazes me that the broader society is increasingly accepting of gays and lesbians, and now even transgendered people, but so many people refuse to accept the notion that a person could have feeling for and relationships with people of both sexes. We're not all living a lie. We're not all in denial. This is just who we are. But your post accurately reflects the thinking of so many people.

[Anonymous]

Don't think it matters what you call yourself. Just be sure to tell women that you have had sex with men, okay? Women should get to decide if they want to be with you in light of your sexual history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman, I would consider you gay.

As a bisexual man, this is exactly the kind of narrow and ignorant thinking that continues to make our identity misunderstood and stigmatized. It amazes me that the broader society is increasingly accepting of gays and lesbians, and now even transgendered people, but so many people refuse to accept the notion that a person could have feeling for and relationships with people of both sexes. We're not all living a lie. We're not all in denial. This is just who we are. But your post accurately reflects the thinking of so many people.

I don't think people are in denial about male bisexuality. We just don't care. For the vast majority of women, there is no difference between men who have sex with both men and women or just men. You are all in the same category of men who are not straight and we don't want you. That's our right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman, I would consider you gay.

As a bisexual man, this is exactly the kind of narrow and ignorant thinking that continues to make our identity misunderstood and stigmatized. It amazes me that the broader society is increasingly accepting of gays and lesbians, and now even transgendered people, but so many people refuse to accept the notion that a person could have feeling for and relationships with people of both sexes. We're not all living a lie. We're not all in denial. This is just who we are. But your post accurately reflects the thinking of so many people.

I don't think people are in denial about male bisexuality. We just don't care. For the vast majority of women, there is no difference between men who have sex with both men and women or just men. You are all in the same category of men who are not straight and we don't want you. That's our right.

Again, get your homophobic ass out of the LGBT forum. And also, speak for yourself. Plenty of women have no issue. Sorry you're a douche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again and I appreciate the feedback. Not sure what a pp meant by getting myself into something that would be hard to get out of but I did speak to a therapist, which was incredibly difficult. The most confusing thing for me is presenting myself to the world in a certain way for so long, then realizing the opposite is true. I am starting to understand my anxiety towards women was the result of not being 100% straight. Am I scared? Heck yes. The thought of being involved with another guy is both exciting and unchartered waters. But being honest about my orientation is my first step.

It would be hard to get yourself out of a gay lifestyle once you start down that path.

I agree. I have a good guy friend who is bi. It's so easy for him to find guys to hook up with, so that's what he does.

"Hard to get yourself out of a gay lifestyle"? Seriously? (A), why is that important? (B), believe me in this world it's easier to be straight so if someone wants to date women instead they're going to. (C), anyone who uses the words "gay lifestyle" sounds like an ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again and I appreciate the feedback. Not sure what a pp meant by getting myself into something that would be hard to get out of but I did speak to a therapist, which was incredibly difficult. The most confusing thing for me is presenting myself to the world in a certain way for so long, then realizing the opposite is true. I am starting to understand my anxiety towards women was the result of not being 100% straight. Am I scared? Heck yes. The thought of being involved with another guy is both exciting and unchartered waters. But being honest about my orientation is my first step.

It would be hard to get yourself out of a gay lifestyle once you start down that path.

I agree. I have a good guy friend who is bi. It's so easy for him to find guys to hook up with, so that's what he does.

"Hard to get yourself out of a gay lifestyle"? Seriously? (A), why is that important? (B), believe me in this world it's easier to be straight so if someone wants to date women instead they're going to. (C), anyone who uses the words "gay lifestyle" sounds like an ass.

This. Also, if he is bisexual, it isn't a gay lifestyle.

I wish the homophobes would keep their BS on the rest of the forum, not here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again and I appreciate the feedback. Not sure what a pp meant by getting myself into something that would be hard to get out of but I did speak to a therapist, which was incredibly difficult. The most confusing thing for me is presenting myself to the world in a certain way for so long, then realizing the opposite is true. I am starting to understand my anxiety towards women was the result of not being 100% straight. Am I scared? Heck yes. The thought of being involved with another guy is both exciting and unchartered waters. But being honest about my orientation is my first step.

It would be hard to get yourself out of a gay lifestyle once you start down that path.

I agree. I have a good guy friend who is bi. It's so easy for him to find guys to hook up with, so that's what he does.

"Hard to get yourself out of a gay lifestyle"? Seriously? (A), why is that important? (B), believe me in this world it's easier to be straight so if someone wants to date women instead they're going to. (C), anyone who uses the words "gay lifestyle" sounds like an ass.

Maybe its like going to a lot of fancy restaurants? Once you eat at a lot of them, you really start enjoying Outback less. Now I'm hooked on that haute cuisine lifestyle. Should have never signed up for that first OpenTable account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again and I appreciate the feedback. Not sure what a pp meant by getting myself into something that would be hard to get out of but I did speak to a therapist, which was incredibly difficult. The most confusing thing for me is presenting myself to the world in a certain way for so long, then realizing the opposite is true. I am starting to understand my anxiety towards women was the result of not being 100% straight. Am I scared? Heck yes. The thought of being involved with another guy is both exciting and unchartered waters. But being honest about my orientation is my first step.

It would be hard to get yourself out of a gay lifestyle once you start down that path.

I agree. I have a good guy friend who is bi. It's so easy for him to find guys to hook up with, so that's what he does.

"Hard to get yourself out of a gay lifestyle"? Seriously? (A), why is that important? (B), believe me in this world it's easier to be straight so if someone wants to date women instead they're going to. (C), anyone who uses the words "gay lifestyle" sounds like an ass.

Maybe its like going to a lot of fancy restaurants? Once you eat at a lot of them, you really start enjoying Outback less. Now I'm hooked on that haute cuisine lifestyle. Should have never signed up for that first OpenTable account.

Unless you're wired to like the same sex to some degree, it's not going to work that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman, I would consider you gay.

As a bisexual man, this is exactly the kind of narrow and ignorant thinking that continues to make our identity misunderstood and stigmatized. It amazes me that the broader society is increasingly accepting of gays and lesbians, and now even transgendered people, but so many people refuse to accept the notion that a person could have feeling for and relationships with people of both sexes. We're not all living a lie. We're not all in denial. This is just who we are. But your post accurately reflects the thinking of so many people.

I don't think people are in denial about male bisexuality. We just don't care. For the vast majority of women, there is no difference between men who have sex with both men and women or just men. You are all in the same category of men who are not straight and we don't want you. That's our right.

Exactly. I am accepting, but I don't want to be in a relationship or sleep with a man who also sleeps with men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman, I would consider you gay.

As a bisexual man, this is exactly the kind of narrow and ignorant thinking that continues to make our identity misunderstood and stigmatized. It amazes me that the broader society is increasingly accepting of gays and lesbians, and now even transgendered people, but so many people refuse to accept the notion that a person could have feeling for and relationships with people of both sexes. We're not all living a lie. We're not all in denial. This is just who we are. But your post accurately reflects the thinking of so many people.

I don't think people are in denial about male bisexuality. We just don't care. For the vast majority of women, there is no difference between men who have sex with both men and women or just men. You are all in the same category of men who are not straight and we don't want you. That's our right.

Exactly. I am accepting, but I don't want to be in a relationship or sleep with a man who also sleeps with men.

Then maybe you are not the right person to be giving advice to LGBT people.

[Anonymous]

I'm straight, so take this with a grain of salt. I think for me, it would matter who I fell in love with. And for you that may be either, I don't know. But just the physical side could encompass a wide range of exploration. Especially back in my 20s when I had a higher sex drive and lower inhibition. But I don't think I would have ever fallen in love with a woman, despite having very close friendships with several. Just something to think about.

And don't forget, Bill DeBlasio's wife was (is?) lesbian. But she fell in love with him. So sexuality and love are fluid. Just try to lead an honest life with integrity. Be honest with your partners. If that means you don't know, you don't. That's fine. I wish you the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm straight, so take this with a grain of salt. I think for me, it would matter who I fell in love with. And for you that may be either, I don't know. But just the physical side could encompass a wide range of exploration. Especially back in my 20s when I had a higher sex drive and lower inhibition. But I don't think I would have ever fallen in love with a woman, despite having very close friendships with several. Just something to think about.

And don't forget, Bill DeBlasio's wife was (is?) lesbian. But she fell in love with him. So sexuality and love are fluid. Just try to lead an honest life with integrity. Be honest with your partners. If that means you don't know, you don't. That's fine. I wish you the best.

Best advice so far on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sexuality is fluid for many people. You might be gay or you might me bi and prefer men or any variety. You don't have to feel exactly the same every day - most bisexual people don't. I sure don't.

Gay woman here. This is exactly why I WON'T date bisexual women. A person looking for a serious commitment, doesn't want to deal with this.