How far do you let your 1st to 3rd grader walk w/o adult to a friend's house?

[Anonymous]

Partial retraction 14:44 -- sounds like both DC were butterfly chasers, but mom/dad seems to incrementally increase child's range. I wonder how old the older DC's is and what that child's range is.

[Anonymous]

7 yo second grader in DC. She walks a block or two to friends' houses when they are expecting her and the parent texts me to let me know she arrived. She and her friends are close to being able to walk to the store unaccompanied too.

[Anonymous]

PSA: please don't send your 1st-3rd graders to neighbors' houses without asking the neighbors first. A family is doing this in my neighborhood and it drives me nuts. I think the parent just wants some free time and tells the kids to walk to a friend's house. At first I thought some parents were okay with it but now I realize all the parents in our area are annoyed with them for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PSA: please don't send your 1st-3rd graders to neighbors' houses without asking the neighbors first. A family is doing this in my neighborhood and it drives me nuts. I think the parent just wants some free time and tells the kids to walk to a friend's house. At first I thought some parents were okay with it but now I realize all the parents in our area are annoyed with them for it.

Oh give me a fucking break. I love how helicopter parents think some kids are just roaming the neighborhood because their parents don't want to spend time with them. That is how you rationalize your paranoia of letting your kids possibly go off and play. A child taking initiative to go find friends to play with is a GOOD thing and I won't be the Mommy who has to call/text another Mommy to allow it. The initiative, determination, courage to walk, be aware of their surroundings, knocking on doors and asking permission for a friend to come outside and play ARE LEARNING SKILLS that kids should have years before coddling parents allow them to. If you think your child can not do it is because you have held their hand, worried them with fear or have done so much for them they are oblivious as to how to actually do anything themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PSA: please don't send your 1st-3rd graders to neighbors' houses without asking the neighbors first. A family is doing this in my neighborhood and it drives me nuts. I think the parent just wants some free time and tells the kids to walk to a friend's house. At first I thought some parents were okay with it but now I realize all the parents in our area are annoyed with them for it.

Why does this bother you? When they come knocking, just let your kid out to go play together. Ride bikes, sidewalk chalk, basketball, even "gasp" use their imagination and wander outside. No one is asking you to babysit the child but my guess is you can't let go of watching YOUR child's every move and you are judging the other mom for doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: please don't send your 1st-3rd graders to neighbors' houses without asking the neighbors first. A family is doing this in my neighborhood and it drives me nuts. I think the parent just wants some free time and tells the kids to walk to a friend's house. At first I thought some parents were okay with it but now I realize all the parents in our area are annoyed with them for it.

Why does this bother you? When they come knocking, just let your kid out to go play together. Ride bikes, sidewalk chalk, basketball, even "gasp" use their imagination and wander outside. No one is asking you to babysit the child but my guess is you can't let go of watching YOUR child's every move and you are judging the other mom for doing so.

I wouldn't allow my 1st grader to play outside alone so I would have to drop everything and go with him or have the child in my home. I do not allow my 1st grader to wander alone. I am not that poster but I agree its rude. Parent should call or text the other parent and ask if it is ok. Or, better, if they want the kids to play offer to host and supervise. And, if you do send the child, teach them the parent has a right to say no without explanation and next time follow up with the parent to make sure they can invite themselves over. If you are sending your child to another house without having a standing agreement, yes, you are looking for free babysitting. I've had parents get really annoyed at me for saying no. We are usually doing homework, eating or something else and I am not wanting to entertain your kid while mine does what they need to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: please don't send your 1st-3rd graders to neighbors' houses without asking the neighbors first. A family is doing this in my neighborhood and it drives me nuts. I think the parent just wants some free time and tells the kids to walk to a friend's house. At first I thought some parents were okay with it but now I realize all the parents in our area are annoyed with them for it.

Oh give me a fucking break. I love how helicopter parents think some kids are just roaming the neighborhood because their parents don't want to spend time with them. That is how you rationalize your paranoia of letting your kids possibly go off and play. A child taking initiative to go find friends to play with is a GOOD thing and I won't be the Mommy who has to call/text another Mommy to allow it. The initiative, determination, courage to walk, be aware of their surroundings, knocking on doors and asking permission for a friend to come outside and play ARE LEARNING SKILLS that kids should have years before coddling parents allow them to. If you think your child can not do it is because you have held their hand, worried them with fear or have done so much for them they are oblivious as to how to actually do anything themselves.

If all the kids are playing outside, fine, but kids should not be knocking on doors asking anything as kids. You contact parent first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: please don't send your 1st-3rd graders to neighbors' houses without asking the neighbors first. A family is doing this in my neighborhood and it drives me nuts. I think the parent just wants some free time and tells the kids to walk to a friend's house. At first I thought some parents were okay with it but now I realize all the parents in our area are annoyed with them for it.

Oh give me a fucking break. I love how helicopter parents think some kids are just roaming the neighborhood because their parents don't want to spend time with them. That is how you rationalize your paranoia of letting your kids possibly go off and play. A child taking initiative to go find friends to play with is a GOOD thing and I won't be the Mommy who has to call/text another Mommy to allow it. The initiative, determination, courage to walk, be aware of their surroundings, knocking on doors and asking permission for a friend to come outside and play ARE LEARNING SKILLS that kids should have years before coddling parents allow them to. If you think your child can not do it is because you have held their hand, worried them with fear or have done so much for them they are oblivious as to how to actually do anything themselves.

If all the kids are playing outside, fine, but kids should not be knocking on doors asking anything as kids. You contact parent first.

At what age, in your mind, can a child initiate something eg, knock on doors or set up a get together, without mom or dad calling the other parent first? 10? 15? 20?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: please don't send your 1st-3rd graders to neighbors' houses without asking the neighbors first. A family is doing this in my neighborhood and it drives me nuts. I think the parent just wants some free time and tells the kids to walk to a friend's house. At first I thought some parents were okay with it but now I realize all the parents in our area are annoyed with them for it.

Oh give me a fucking break. I love how helicopter parents think some kids are just roaming the neighborhood because their parents don't want to spend time with them. That is how you rationalize your paranoia of letting your kids possibly go off and play. A child taking initiative to go find friends to play with is a GOOD thing and I won't be the Mommy who has to call/text another Mommy to allow it. The initiative, determination, courage to walk, be aware of their surroundings, knocking on doors and asking permission for a friend to come outside and play ARE LEARNING SKILLS that kids should have years before coddling parents allow them to. If you think your child can not do it is because you have held their hand, worried them with fear or have done so much for them they are oblivious as to how to actually do anything themselves.

If all the kids are playing outside, fine, but kids should not be knocking on doors asking anything as kids. You contact parent first.

At what age, in your mind, can a child initiate something eg, knock on doors or set up a get together, without mom or dad calling the other parent first? 10? 15? 20?

Not at 7. It depends on the situation. Never for knocking on doors regularly. I think its rude as you don't know what is going on or if the other person wants a visitor.

[Anonymous]

My 8 yo knocks regularly on the door on one friend, unannounced. This kid comes to our house unannounced just as much. If either are busy they return home. Sometimes they play for 10 minutes. Yesterday it was 3 hours. I think it's wonderful to have a friend so close and I love not having to coordinate play dates anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 8 yo knocks regularly on the door on one friend, unannounced. This kid comes to our house unannounced just as much. If either are busy they return home. Sometimes they play for 10 minutes. Yesterday it was 3 hours. I think it's wonderful to have a friend so close and I love not having to coordinate play dates anymore.

You are lucky. Plus the kids are learning that saying no to an invitation to play does not mean you can't be friends and play another day. This is a good way for your kids to learn to set their own boundaries.

[Anonymous]

My 6 year old 1st grader regularly walks about 1/4 mile to play with our neighbors (~10 houses). Parents in my neighborhood usually text first, and confirm receipt of each other's kids, though I think we're almost at the point of letting the kids just wander and knock on doors, which I'd have no problems with. I love it that I live in a neighborhood where parents are laid back and kids play outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I live along U Street, so I only let my children walk where I can see them. They have a friend at the end of the block and another right across the street. I'm never far away from them while they do this.

There's a corner store barely three blocks away and it's my dream that a DC will be able to walk over and buy a loaf of bread by themselves at some point. But, not any time soon. They are in 1st. By the time they are in 3rd, I should be cool with it. There are two busy-ish (no light) streets they need to cross. That's the issue, not the urban environment. Same with walking to school. There's a very large, busy street on the way to school that stops me from allowing them to go independently. Because they are such a known entity in the neighborhood, I think they'd have a lot of oversight on the way to school. But, that street is a huge obstacle for me.

Every once in a while, we practice by having them hold hands and pretend they're walking by themselves. I break the illusion and hold their hands while crossing that street, but we fall back into pretending once we've passed it.

We live a block from H Street. A few weeks ago I let my 9 year old walk the two blocks a Sunday to buy croissants. He LOVED having the responsibility and I was on tenterhooks the whole time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: please don't send your 1st-3rd graders to neighbors' houses without asking the neighbors first. A family is doing this in my neighborhood and it drives me nuts. I think the parent just wants some free time and tells the kids to walk to a friend's house. At first I thought some parents were okay with it but now I realize all the parents in our area are annoyed with them for it.

Oh give me a fucking break. I love how helicopter parents think some kids are just roaming the neighborhood because their parents don't want to spend time with them. That is how you rationalize your paranoia of letting your kids possibly go off and play. A child taking initiative to go find friends to play with is a GOOD thing and I won't be the Mommy who has to call/text another Mommy to allow it. The initiative, determination, courage to walk, be aware of their surroundings, knocking on doors and asking permission for a friend to come outside and play ARE LEARNING SKILLS that kids should have years before coddling parents allow them to. If you think your child can not do it is because you have held their hand, worried them with fear or have done so much for them they are oblivious as to how to actually do anything themselves.

If all the kids are playing outside, fine, but kids should not be knocking on doors asking anything as kids. You contact parent first.

That is so sad. Really--was that what your childhood was like? I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 8 yo knocks regularly on the door on one friend, unannounced. This kid comes to our house unannounced just as much. If either are busy they return home. Sometimes they play for 10 minutes. Yesterday it was 3 hours. I think it's wonderful to have a friend so close and I love not having to coordinate play dates anymore.

+1. If you don't want the kid there, just say "we can't right now". NBD. I've done this once or twice. I also love that we don't have to "schedule" a playdate, and kids can just be kids, roaming the neighborhood, looking for someone to play with. Everything else in their lives are so scheduled. I'm happy to have this one thing not be scheduled so much. It gives the kids skills to seek out playmates, things to do, without parents scheduling it for them.