Dealing with husband's job loss
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Anonymous
| He's not good with admin stuff, not the admin staff. Maybe he's not good with admin stuff because he's good with people. |
Anonymous
NP here and I had the same thought - hospital work or health care facility that has a chapel. Or maybe some kind of counseling or ethicist position. |
Anonymous
Maybe. But smaller Churches need leaders who are good with both people and admin stuff. |
Anonymous
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"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
I know a minister who is an officer in the Army. Would DH be interested/suitable for a military career? From what I hear, it's not a bad gig at all. |
Anonymous
| If you can squeeze by on your income, you can WOH full-time, and DH can SAH. At least temporarily. |
Anonymous
Military chaplains move around a lot to various bases (even those in other countries and in remote locations) just like all other military personnel. They also deploy, including to combat zones. It's also pretty competitive. Not only do candidates have to meet all the requirements of their particular religion/denomination, but they also must meet all the requirements of other military officers (physical fitness standards, citizenship, age, etc.) |
Anonymous
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OP, I am so sorry to hear what you and your DH are going through. We experienced something similar. My DH lost his job when I was expecting our first child. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but this IS going to work out.
One thing I said to my husband was, I know we did not plan it this way, but let's focus on the positive - we can use this time to prepare for the baby arriving, you will be home to bond during the newborn phase. So, for you -- You are going to need support for sure with the birth of your third child (congratulations!) and your DH will be home - this is a silver lining. It will be a special time for family bonding that you otherwise would not have had in quite the same way. You're also in a new house. He can work on projects you wanted done to get the house all moved in and in tip-top shape. As for finding a new job, I don't think you should assume you have to move. Since you all are happy here, especially your eldest son, I would encourage you to explore options in the area so that you can stay put. Has your DH ever considered pastoral counseling? Sounds like he is a people person who doesn't like administration. Maybe a one-on-one role would be better for him. He might need another degree or certification, but could it be done online? What about jobs with non-profits that aren't necessarily the same role as a pastor but that would greatly utilize his skills? Would he be open to considering something different than what he has been doing? And in the time he is looking for work, I would say volunteer, volunteer, volunteer. You never know when it might open a door to employment and it is also good for staving off the bad feelings that unfortunately will creep up about unemployment. One last thing - don't forget to take care of yourself. You are doing everything you can to support your family, which is wonderful, but cut yourself some slack too. We are rooting for you! All the best to you. |
Anonymous
| I can't believe you can no longer attend the church once he isn't the minister. This is the shit that bugs me about churches and why I find it so hard to actively attend one. That's just bullshit. |
Anonymous
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Just another job search piece of advice... there are a ton of colleges in the area--some of them might have a need for a religious figure--particularly if he's open to serving a wide array of religious needs, i.e. serving as a non-denominational spiritual person.
I disagree with the person who told you to focus first on the money and not to be attached to the school. If you had kids without specific challenges whose needs could be met in a number of settings, that's fine. But if that's not the case and you finally found a place for your little monkey to blossom, then it's worth trying to stay here and make things work. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| Tell him to get a real job. Who still goes to church these days anyways? |
Anonymous
Are you in s religion or a cult? You won't be able to attend services?
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Anonymous
It would be pretty awkward for them to continue going to the church where he was fired. It isn't like they were banned from attending, but why go if everyone knows what happened. |
Anonymous
| Your husband lost his job because he failed to do the required paperwork. That’s like failing to brush his teeth. The paperwork is also his work product, it’s how he proves to the church that he’s worth the money they are paying him. He knew your oldest child has special needs and is doing well here. He also knew you just bought a house, and are pregnant. I say he royally screwed the family. Life throws enough curves at everybody that you don’t need to bring trouble into your home…. Which is exactly what your husband did. At this point, he doesn’t deserve special treatment. If the church had down-sized, then he would get what he’s asking for from you, but not now, not when he is directly responsible for the job loss. The cynic in me says he did this on purpose because now he no longer has a job, and can be taken care of in a way he couldn’t have been before. The focus can now be on him instead of on anything else. I’d make sure he knows this and that he takes steps to correct it for future employment. I’d also seek out any support you need. Don’t trash him, but also don’t hesitate to obtain support from wherever and whomever you need. Know that your older child will be fine, though if you move, it may take him longer to integrate into the new group. You and your husband need to be aware of this, so that your husband can learn better work strategies in the future. |