Awkward - should I have cancelled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to cancel, but this is all on your DH. He should have confirmed things with his sister and he's responsible for entertaining her/ sorting things out with her.

But I suspect this is really about you wanting to bitch about the SIL you can't stand under the guise of feeling badly for an awkward situation.

" She talks too much"

OP here - I actually like my SIL but obviously an outsider that talks a lot in a small group totally changes the dynamic of the group, especially when you are trying to catch up with friends that you haven't seen in a while (and in our case, there are also young children around who will be distracting enough).

Anyway, as I said, I told SIL that we already made plans and she's okay with it. She can sit and watch TV or go shopping or whatever while we're out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL would totally be fine with this, as would I.

So would i! If you are giving me a free place to stay, I'm thrilled. And maybe we can squeeze in a lunch somewhere where I treat you guys. If you have room. Otherwise, I'm leaving a gift card to your favorite restaurant. I'm grown. I can entertain myself. (band, remember). It's OK. And if she's upset, she should be upset with brother, not you.

[Anonymous]

Seems to me you're not a big SIL fan and looking for reasons to not include her. DH told you she might be coming - what did you need, 4 reminders? Do what you think is right I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to cancel, but this is all on your DH. He should have confirmed things with his sister and he's responsible for entertaining her/ sorting things out with her.

But I suspect this is really about you wanting to bitch about the SIL you can't stand under the guise of feeling badly for an awkward situation.

" She talks too much"

OP here - I actually like my SIL but obviously an outsider that talks a lot in a small group totally changes the dynamic of the group, especially when you are trying to catch up with friends that you haven't seen in a while (and in our case, there are also young children around who will be distracting enough).

Anyway, as I said, I told SIL that we already made plans and she's okay with it. She can sit and watch TV or go shopping or whatever while we're out.

Yeah she just seems so over the top and overbearing.

She's more distracting than a bunch of little kids really.

Own up to it she's childless and she's not part of your mommy clique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems to me you're not a big SIL fan and looking for reasons to not include her. DH told you she might be coming - what did you need, 4 reminders? Do what you think is right I guess.

She didn't need for reminders. She's just looking for reasons not to include her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to cancel, but this is all on your DH. He should have confirmed things with his sister and he's responsible for entertaining her/ sorting things out with her.

But I suspect this is really about you wanting to bitch about the SIL you can't stand under the guise of feeling badly for an awkward situation.

" She talks too much"

OP here - I actually like my SIL but obviously an outsider that talks a lot in a small group totally changes the dynamic of the group, especially when you are trying to catch up with friends that you haven't seen in a while (and in our case, there are also young children around who will be distracting enough).

Anyway, as I said, I told SIL that we already made plans and she's okay with it. She can sit and watch TV or go shopping or whatever while we're out.

Of course she said this, because unlike you and your husband she has manners and isn't self centered.

I expect a post from you in the near future about how you don't understand why SIL is treating us differently because she an DH used to be so close and we've never done anything to hurt her blah blah blah.

[Anonymous]

You and kids should go about your plans (ones that you truly can't change) and you DH should stay home with her. No way should he tag along on your plans. You might even leave one kid (assuming you have more than one from context) home if that's more convenient. If I meeting up with friends of certain age children, sometimes one of my kids would rather stay home.

[Anonymous]

Next time, I would check with DH first before firming up plans. "You mentioned LuAnn might visit, is that definitely the case? If not, I want to make plans with Ginger."

Did you run the plans you made with your friends by DH? If not, isn't that the same as him not running his plans with his sister by you?

[Anonymous]

It's your husband's sister. Just meditate on that for a moment.

[Anonymous]

Have DH cancel one of the planned events and you go alone.

Try to become a little less uptight about visits planned on short notice. Your kids are only going to benefit from the kind of family relationships that welcome unstructured, casual visits from aunts and grandparents.

[Anonymous]

I think it's going to be okay...really. As others have said, there's no indication she wants to do anything other than crash and see her band. You seem like you're looking for reasons to be upset and belittle her - oh, she can watch TV or go shopping or whatever while we're out with all of our friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next time, I would check with DH first before firming up plans. "You mentioned LuAnn might visit, is that definitely the case? If not, I want to make plans with Ginger."

Did you run the plans you made with your friends by DH? If not, isn't that the same as him not running his plans with his sister by you?

He never even gave me a date, I don't know why people are blaming this on me? And yes, of course I ran the plans by him, these were plans for us as a couple, so of course I made sure it was okay with him first. Freaks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's your husband's sister. Just meditate on that for a moment.

You mean meditate on how the OP wasn't involved in their plans and howler DH and HIS sister need to communicate better? Sounds like she understands that pretty well.

[Anonymous]

I really like my husband's brother, SIL and BIL. I tolerant his two sisters. If hubby stayed home with his sister during one of the planned events; I would be ok going out by myself. Btw, he has it made because I am an only child.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if she made firm plans with DH

We're not mind readers