Coworker using phrase "let me ask this again" when asking me about work topics - how to best deal?

[Anonymous]

Are you giving her over complicated responses? Maybe she is legitimately a little dumb.

[Anonymous]

Op here. It is minor things really, and yes she is in a more senior role. Example: "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, I changed it but there is an error in the system so it did not save the change. I spoke with Todd and he confirmed this issue." " Let me ask this again - did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, there is an error and it did not save the change"... What more can I say? I would say I explained it clearly. Possibly she is trying to get a rise out of me? I have always replied with detailed information.. As detailed as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It is minor things really, and yes she is in a more senior role. Example: "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, I changed it but there is an error in the system so it did not save the change. I spoke with Todd and he confirmed this issue." " Let me ask this again - did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, there is an error and it did not save the change"... What more can I say? I would say I explained it clearly. Possibly she is trying to get a rise out of me? I have always replied with detailed information.. As detailed as possible.

You're responding yes when the answer is no in your example. You TRIED to change the alert but were unsuccessful. I think she's trying to let you know your responses aren't clear. Yes, in a condescending way, but this could be the result of a build up of frustration with your communication style.

Sometimes less is more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either you are misunderstanding the question, or your answer is worded in a way that confuses her.

There's a third option. Coworker is a slow thinker, and uses that phrase as a crutch to gain some time and hear the answer again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It is minor things really, and yes she is in a more senior role. Example: "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, I changed it but there is an error in the system so it did not save the change. I spoke with Todd and he confirmed this issue." " Let me ask this again - did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, there is an error and it did not save the change"... What more can I say? I would say I explained it clearly. Possibly she is trying to get a rise out of me? I have always replied with detailed information.. As detailed as possible.

not "and" use "but"

she is asking is problem solved. you are saying "yes, action was taken"...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It is minor things really, and yes she is in a more senior role. Example: "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, I changed it but there is an error in the system so it did not save the change. I spoke with Todd and he confirmed this issue." " Let me ask this again - did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, there is an error and it did not save the change"... What more can I say? I would say I explained it clearly. Possibly she is trying to get a rise out of me? I have always replied with detailed information.. As detailed as possible.

Maybe try responding with less detailed information. In this example, "I was not able to change the alert due to a system error." You did not actually change the alert. Is Todd working on fixing the issue? If so, "Todd is working on resolving this." If not, "Please ignore future alerts as we have not been able to correct the error."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It is minor things really, and yes she is in a more senior role. Example: "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, I changed it but there is an error in the system so it did not save the change. I spoke with Todd and he confirmed this issue." " Let me ask this again - did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, there is an error and it did not save the change"... What more can I say? I would say I explained it clearly. Possibly she is trying to get a rise out of me? I have always replied with detailed information.. As detailed as possible.

You're responding yes when the answer is no in your example. You TRIED to change the alert but were unsuccessful. I think she's trying to let you know your responses aren't clear. Yes, in a condescending way, but this could be the result of a build up of frustration with your communication style.

Sometimes less is more.

+1. Maybe she is just slow on the uptake. When she asks "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" I'd just say "Yes" and wouldn't bother with the rest of it unless she asks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It is minor things really, and yes she is in a more senior role. Example: "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, I changed it but there is an error in the system so it did not save the change. I spoke with Todd and he confirmed this issue." " Let me ask this again - did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, there is an error and it did not save the change"... What more can I say? I would say I explained it clearly. Possibly she is trying to get a rise out of me? I have always replied with detailed information.. As detailed as possible.

You're responding yes when the answer is no in your example. You TRIED to change the alert but were unsuccessful. I think she's trying to let you know your responses aren't clear. Yes, in a condescending way, but this could be the result of a build up of frustration with your communication style.

Sometimes less is more.

+1. Maybe she is just slow on the uptake. When she asks "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" I'd just say "Yes" and wouldn't bother with the rest of it unless she asks.

But that isn't really true because the change did not take. "There is an error. Please ignore alert until Todd is able to fix it."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It is minor things really, and yes she is in a more senior role. Example: "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, I changed it but there is an error in the system so it did not save the change. I spoke with Todd and he confirmed this issue." " Let me ask this again - did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, there is an error and it did not save the change"... What more can I say? I would say I explained it clearly. Possibly she is trying to get a rise out of me? I have always replied with detailed information.. As detailed as possible.

OP she either wants a, "yes" or a, "no" that explains the next steps to get the answer to, "yes." She doesn't want detailed information, she wants a solution handed to her on a platter. This a common expectation from people in senior roles in many organizations. (How old are you?) Instead, you presented her with a dead end. In her mind, the issue is not resolved, so she needs to keep asking.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of conversation I have with my DW sometimes. I ask her a yes-or-no question and she gives me 2-min long response and I don't know if her answer was yes or no. Sometimes I ask her again, sometimes I just say "thank you dear" and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It is minor things really, and yes she is in a more senior role. Example: "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, I changed it but there is an error in the system so it did not save the change. I spoke with Todd and he confirmed this issue." " Let me ask this again - did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, there is an error and it did not save the change"... What more can I say? I would say I explained it clearly. Possibly she is trying to get a rise out of me? I have always replied with detailed information.. As detailed as possible.

What is she really asking in this example? Does she want to know if the alert is a valid alert or a mistake? Seems like both of you have a problem communicating though because your response says two different things--you changed it but it's not changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It is minor things really, and yes she is in a more senior role. Example: "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, I changed it but there is an error in the system so it did not save the change. I spoke with Todd and he confirmed this issue." " Let me ask this again - did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, there is an error and it did not save the change"... What more can I say? I would say I explained it clearly. Possibly she is trying to get a rise out of me? I have always replied with detailed information.. As detailed as possible.

OP she either wants a, "yes" or a, "no" that explains the next steps to get the answer to, "yes." She doesn't want detailed information, she wants a solution handed to her on a platter. This a common expectation from people in senior roles in many organizations. (How old are you?) Instead, you presented her with a dead end. In her mind, the issue is not resolved, so she needs to keep asking.

+1. I get this kind of response fairly often from a particular group I work with and it drives me nuts. The long and short of it is that they are trying to explain away why they didn't get something done. I don't give a flying F why you didn't do it or all the fifteen reasons you couldn't. I need to know if you did and, if not, whether you are going to because if you're not going to get it done, I need to talk to your boss.

[Anonymous]

OP, your example gives kind of an unclear answer. Her response is rudely-phrased but I can see why she would be unclear. Try answering with a one- or two-word word answer and then follow up with the additional explanatory sentence. Ex.: "No. I tried to change it but it didn't get saved; Todd confirmed there is a problem with the system." What's also missing is an explanation of what's going to happen next. Ex.: "Todd is working on it and should have it fixed by this afternoon; he's going to update me when it's done and then I'll make the change" or "I was told it can't be fixed until Friday, so I'll try again on Friday and give you an update then."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It is minor things really, and yes she is in a more senior role. Example: "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, I changed it but there is an error in the system so it did not save the change. I spoke with Todd and he confirmed this issue." " Let me ask this again - did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, there is an error and it did not save the change"... What more can I say? I would say I explained it clearly. Possibly she is trying to get a rise out of me? I have always replied with detailed information.. As detailed as possible.

You're responding yes when the answer is no in your example. You TRIED to change the alert but were unsuccessful. I think she's trying to let you know your responses aren't clear. Yes, in a condescending way, but this could be the result of a build up of frustration with your communication style.

Sometimes less is more.

+1. Maybe she is just slow on the uptake. When she asks "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" I'd just say "Yes" and wouldn't bother with the rest of it unless she asks.

But that isn't really true because the change did not take. "There is an error. Please ignore alert until Todd is able to fix it."

No, it is true. She did change the alert. It's not her fault that the change did not take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It is minor things really, and yes she is in a more senior role. Example: "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, I changed it but there is an error in the system so it did not save the change. I spoke with Todd and he confirmed this issue." " Let me ask this again - did you change the alert in the system?" "Yes, there is an error and it did not save the change"... What more can I say? I would say I explained it clearly. Possibly she is trying to get a rise out of me? I have always replied with detailed information.. As detailed as possible.

You're responding yes when the answer is no in your example. You TRIED to change the alert but were unsuccessful. I think she's trying to let you know your responses aren't clear. Yes, in a condescending way, but this could be the result of a build up of frustration with your communication style.

Sometimes less is more.

+1. Maybe she is just slow on the uptake. When she asks "Debbie, I am still receiving the alert, did you change the alert in the system?" I'd just say "Yes" and wouldn't bother with the rest of it unless she asks.

But that isn't really true because the change did not take. "There is an error. Please ignore alert until Todd is able to fix it."

No, it is true. She did change the alert. It's not her fault that the change did not take.

I didn't say it was her fault, but if the supervisor wants to know "Is this a valid alert?" saying "Yes" and then waiting to give more information until asked is a bad idea.