Coworker using phrase "let me ask this again" when asking me about work topics - how to best deal?

[Anonymous]

After responding she continues to use the phrase "let me ask this again", maybe I am reading this wrong but is this a rude way of assuming I am not understanding what she is asking for? This keeps coming up after I respond multiple times to her questions. I am not trying to cause confrontation but could I be misinterpreting her tone on this one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After responding she continues to use the phrase "let me ask this again", maybe I am reading this wrong but is this a rude way of assuming I am not understanding what she is asking for? This keeps coming up after I respond multiple times to her questions. I am not trying to cause confrontation but could I be misinterpreting her tone on this one?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

For whatever reason, she does not understand your answer so she's trying to get you to word it differently so she can understand. You might have better luck offering to email the answer to her so she'll have it in writing and she can refer to it as needed.

[Anonymous]

If you think you're answering her question(s), then it is an odd phrase to use. It does imply she didn't get her answer, and if she did it's probably not the right phrase on her part. If she didn't, you should know that and talk about how to communicate together better.

Next time it happens, and if you think you gave her the answer, I'd probably just respond "So, Larla, you said you're asking me again. Did I not answer the question? I know I said XYZ, but if that doesn't address it let me know and I can clarify or elaborate."

[Anonymous]

Either you are misunderstanding the question, or your answer is worded in a way that confuses her.

[Anonymous]

"Let me ask this again" does make it sound as if she asked you something and you either didn't answer or your answer wasn't clear.

Maybe she means something more benign, like "a quick follow up question...", but I would be annoyed. Depending on how often you interact with her, I'd probably talk to her about it. Or call her on it, "Susie, you wrote, "let me ask this again," but I looked back through my emails and do not see where you asked me this before and I know we didn't speak about it. Can you please clarify whether you ere just using this phrase as a figure of speech? This comes up from time to time and I want to make sure we are on the same page."

[Anonymous]

Yes. How to respond depends on many factors - does she need this information to do her job, are you required to answer all her questions at all times (ie - does she out rank you on a particular project), is she just being nosy, etc.

Do other people find you difficult to understand? If she's the first person you've encountered you can't understand what you're saying, then it's on her, but you probably still need to be polite and transparent. If others are more politely also indicating that they don't understand you, then you need to work on improving your communication skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Let me ask this again" does make it sound as if she asked you something and you either didn't answer or your answer wasn't clear.

Maybe she means something more benign, like "a quick follow up question...", but I would be annoyed. Depending on how often you interact with her, I'd probably talk to her about it. Or call her on it, "Susie, you wrote, "let me ask this again," but I looked back through my emails and do not see where you asked me this before and I know we didn't speak about it. Can you please clarify whether you ere just using this phrase as a figure of speech? This comes up from time to time and I want to make sure we are on the same page."

PP here -- this is assuming her question was clear and your answer was clear (as PP noted). If one of you isn't communicating well, then address it differently.

[Anonymous]

People sometimes use this phrase as a power play or trying to make it seem like YOU are confused. You will often see a derivative of this in the responses on DCUM.

If you know that you are being clear, it is the other person.

[Anonymous]

It's just very condescending

[Anonymous]

Say, "Gimmie one second" and leave her hanging waiting for a second explanation while you check your phone, make a call, go say hi to a co-worker, whatever...

If you're perturbed by this recurring habit of hers then you need to initiate an annoying habit in response to deter her.

Next time you explain something and she says, "Let me ask this again" - put her ass on hold for all intents and purposes and make her wait for a clarification.

Perhaps during that valuable alone time she can decipher whatever it is she can't understand on her own.

[Anonymous]

I would say "Am I not speaking clearly" or "How can I explain it better for you." Say it in a very nice voice and with a smile. Her phrase is condescending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either you are misunderstanding the question, or your answer is worded in a way that confuses her.

+1

[Anonymous]

She needs to call and talk

[Anonymous]

If you know you clearly answered her question, you can say "Susie, you asked X, and I answered with Y. Did you not understand Y or are you asking a new question now? You phrase is as if you never got an answer to X, but I have here this email that answered your question. . . so, where are we?"