Elderly Mother is leaving

[Anonymous]

Are you sure she is not doing this because she does not want to watch your child? Child care can be tiring, and maybe she is just too old for that now?

[Anonymous]

How old is your mom?

Does she have any health issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My elderly mother insists on moving across country away from us. I am her only child and mother to her only elementary aged grandchild. She is single (divorce) for many years. I really can't understand why she is doing this. I will be unable to fly out at a moments notice should she become ill or injured. I have no Emergency funds and not to mention a child who would need to be watched.
I've tried to convince her to move here but she claims her pension will be taxed. When I offer to have her only pay for her Grover IRS in exchange for watching my kid ( I pay mortgage light etc) she falls back on the taxes. I'm pretty positive she doesn't like me but I know she loves her grandchild.

Parents are resposbile for figuring out the caring of their children. Grandparents are not.

[Anonymous]

For God's sake, OP, answer the question. How old is she?

[Anonymous]

I'm from Florida and it's hard to get parents to move from a no income tax state to here.

But otherwise it's her life. My grandparents are in their 90s and still living by themselves easily

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is she?
Is she in good health and still of sharp mind or do you think that it is just her "age" and assume that as she gets older she will go into a rapid decline. Not all old people become senile and physically disabled.
My dad is going to be 80 this summer -- if you met him you would swear he is not a day over 65.

Op here- she is on so many medications we don't know what is for what. She has arthritis that prohibits her from tying shoes now. She cant see well at night so she does not drive at night. She is diabetic and is sleeping more and more. She routinely volunteers (couple days of week), she travels with senior groups, etc..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure she is not doing this because she does not want to watch your child? Child care can be tiring, and maybe she is just too old for that now?

She can only watch my child in spurts. I would likely still have a sitter with her around. She could be home from after school for an hour or 2 but that's it . Or just be there when kid is sleeping but if I need a day sitter (when kid is active) I would still have to hire a sitter. She can't keep up and my child is crafty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My elderly mother insists on moving across country away from us. I am her only child and mother to her only elementary aged grandchild. She is single (divorce) for many years. I really can't understand why she is doing this. I will be unable to fly out at a moments notice should she become ill or injured. I have no Emergency funds and not to mention a child who would need to be watched.
I've tried to convince her to move here but she claims her pension will be taxed. When I offer to have her only pay for her Grover IRS in exchange for watching my kid ( I pay mortgage light etc) she falls back on the taxes. I'm pretty positive she doesn't like me but I know she loves her grandchild.

Parents are resposbile for figuring out the caring of their children. Grandparents are not.

What are you prattling on about? I do not need her to watch my child. I just can't leave my child alone to care for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My elderly mother insists on moving across country away from us. I am her only child and mother to her only elementary aged grandchild. She is single (divorce) for many years. I really can't understand why she is doing this. I will be unable to fly out at a moments notice should she become ill or injured. I have no Emergency funds and not to mention a child who would need to be watched.
I've tried to convince her to move here but she claims her pension will be taxed. When I offer to have her only pay for her Grover IRS in exchange for watching my kid ( I pay mortgage light etc) she falls back on the taxes. I'm pretty positive she doesn't like me but I know she loves her grandchild.

Parents are resposbile for figuring out the caring of their children. Grandparents are not.

What are you prattling on about? I do not need her to watch my child. I just can't leave my child alone to care for her. What I offered was payment in exchange for assistance. As I mentioned in a previous post she can't keep up with kid. I'd still have to hire somebody. My offer was really to try to entice her. Hey come live with me rent free would not fly with her.

[Anonymous]

How old is your mom? What is her age??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My elderly mother insists on moving across country away from us. I am her only child and mother to her only elementary aged grandchild. She is single (divorce) for many years. I really can't understand why she is doing this. I will be unable to fly out at a moments notice should she become ill or injured. I have no Emergency funds and not to mention a child who would need to be watched.
I've tried to convince her to move here but she claims her pension will be taxed. When I offer to have her only pay for her Grover IRS in exchange for watching my kid ( I pay mortgage light etc) she falls back on the taxes. I'm pretty positive she doesn't like me but I know she loves her grandchild.

Parents are resposbile for figuring out the caring of their children. Grandparents are not.

What are you prattling on about? I do not need her to watch my child. I just can't leave my child alone to care for her.

Reread your orignial post. Where is the grandchild's father in all of this?

[Anonymous]

From some of your comments, OP, it sounds as though you are guilty of elder abuse. She should report you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My elderly mother insists on moving across country away from us. I am her only child and mother to her only elementary aged grandchild. She is single (divorce) for many years. I really can't understand why she is doing this. I will be unable to fly out at a moments notice should she become ill or injured. I have no Emergency funds and not to mention a child who would need to be watched.
I've tried to convince her to move here but she claims her pension will be taxed. When I offer to have her only pay for her groceries in exchange for watching my kid ( I pay mortgage light etc) she falls back on the taxes. I'm pretty positive she doesn't like me but I know she loves her grandchild.

Parents are resposbile for figuring out the caring of their children. Grandparents are not.

What are you prattling on about? I do not need her to watch my child. I just can't leave my child alone to care for her.

Reread your orignial post. Where is the grandchild's father in all of this?

As I mentioned previously that was an offer just to convince her to come. She can't watch my child alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From some of your comments, OP, it sounds as though you are guilty of elder abuse. She should report you.

By all means, highlight the examples- OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your mom? What is her age??

Elderly-OP